She is just plain obnoxious!

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

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amother

Aster

Thu, Jun 15 2023, 12:11 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

OP it's tough. Hang in there. In a few years I think your daughter will be in shiduchim and it seems she has lots of good qualities and middot. I see a total balabosta and a very capable young woman that will go far in life Smile

Hate to keep harping on the negative, but seems like some people are glossing over things.
No she actually doesn't sound like she has good middos. Where do you see that?
She might go far in life but not in relationships, unless she is taught to change her ways.
And again, yes I have and had teenagers. Teens are allowed to be moody, grumpy, annoyed,etc, but kibbud av va'eim is still an obligation and a child with good middos will keep that in mind even while kvetching and grumbling.

amother

Freesia

Thu, Jun 15 2023, 1:17 pm

@OP

When my oldest was 2, I had no idea what I was doing. I was bowing down to him and he was walking all over me. I really felt like he was on the way to becoming like this when he gets older.

I ended up taking a parenting course, and I am forever grateful. This woman saved my life and my kids'. I would be happy to tell you the name of it but she is officially geared more towards younger kids.

Point is, please find a parenting course! Any! The course I took cost 150 and was a few phone classes that were recorded so you could make them up if you missed it. The posters here have some great tips and pointers, but you won't be able to do it without a mindset shift. Sounds like you need a reframe and reset with your wonderful daughter.

Best of luck!

#BestBubby

Thu, Jun 15 2023, 2:43 pm

I think most parenting classes tell parents to
" bow down" to their children.

That is why children treat their parents with chutzpah.

Chutzpadig children have no Hokoras HaTov
For parents and instead resent that their parents don't do more for them.

Iymnok

Thu, Jun 15 2023, 3:02 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

I think you haven't taken parenting classes, or only know of not good ones.
You need a balance of respect and boundaries in both directions.
Also be creative and fun and stay as far away from power struggles as possible.

#BestBubby

Thu, Jun 15 2023, 4:42 pm

A child who engages in a power struggle with parents is doing an aveirah on par with chillul shobbos!

Why don't children know this Halachah?

Even parents don't know it and act as if children are allowed to disobey and be disrespectful.

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