12 year old son exposed himself

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Forum -> Parenting our children

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amother

Fri, Jul 07 2023, 7:20 pm

My 12 year old son intentionally opened his robe in front of 7 year old sister.
Is this within normal behavior?
He obviously knows it's not ok but keeps doing things like this. I told him people can sit in jail for this but apparently it's still hard for him. Sos

amother

Oleander

Fri, Jul 07 2023, 7:39 pm

I have a 12 year old son, no this is not within normal behavior. I'm sorry for your challenge. I hope the solution comes clearly and easily

amother

Snowdrop

Fri, Jul 07 2023, 7:46 pm

Not normal but not so crazy. I would suggest counseling. Also continue to check on your daughter and make sure she knows she can tell you anything. I would not let them be alone until you have a better grip on situation. Confirm he isn’t being exposed to anyone or watching anything appropriate. Filters on any and all devices.

behappy2

Sat, Jul 08 2023, 10:04 pm

Please don't tell him that ppl can sit in jail for that. That's your anxiety and fear and not a productive way to handle it. Please get in touch with a professional ASAP.

imasinger

Sat, Jul 08 2023, 10:07 pm

Why did he do it?

Is he prone to impulsivity in general?

Chinuch means teaching, but you can't teach fully until you understand why this happened.

amother

Sat, Jul 08 2023, 11:15 pm

Soo I was panicking erev shabb when I posted this. I spoke to my daughter who said his underwear were on. But it still felt inappropriate.

Behappy2- ur right and now I feel bad.
Imasinger- yes, he is impulsive in general. Which is why I feel so stuck. How can I teach him to control himself in a healthy way?

(He has mild adhd, once tried to treat with medicine unsuccessfully and the plan was to try again in September)

amother

Mintgreen

Sat, Jul 08 2023, 11:27 pm

Apologize to him for overreacting? Tell him you understand it's challenging for him to control his impulses but you appreciate his trying?

You realize that even with mild ADHD, he's probably really struggling, right? It isn't fair to react that way.

It's ok for your kids to see each other in boxers. They're siblings.

Why did your daughter react like that?

imasinger

Sat, Jul 08 2023, 11:28 pm

Did you ask him why he did it?

I'd suggest changing the medication timetable. Summer is a good time to do trials, so that you have something effective in place by the beginning of the school year. And therapy is a good idea, too. Sometimes, a therapist can be more effective in explaining such sensitive topics, if it feels overwhelming for you and DH to do so with calm and perspective.

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