She won't be traumatized, right? UPDATE

amother

Linen

Sun, Jul 09 2023, 7:23 pm

To the women saying "I would never vacation without my baby!", the last vacation we took was a year and a half ago, with our toddler and baby. It was barely a vacation at all (as the saying goes, "When you have kids there's no such thing as a vacation, you're just parenting in another city") and while there were nice moments, as a whole we came back more exhausted and drained than we left, and we both agreed it just wasn't much of a vacation at all. I would not do it again until all our kids are much older.

On the flip side, it's important for our shalom bayis that we get away to spend time together every once in a while. My husband loves to travel, and ever since the kids came along we just haven't really been anywhere much, and I can tell he's just longing to refresh his spirit with a beautiful getaway. So yes, if my parents or in-laws volunteer to take our kiddos for a few days you bet I'm taking them up on that. And I would also bet that anyone anywhere who is looking to take a vacation "needs it" on some level. Every vacation takes work, planning, travel, packing- there's effort involved so if you put in all that effort, it's for a reason. Kids need refreshed happy parents, not burnt-out resentful shells. As long as you make good arrangements for your kids while you're gone, nothing's going to happen if you're not with your kids 24/7/365.

amother

Tue, Aug 08 2023, 7:31 pm

Post Vacation Update:

We went away for the week without the baby. She stayed with my parents, mostly slept through the night, and everyone had a wonderful time. My family loved getting to spend time with her. We got daily pics and updates. When we got back she didn't seem traumatized, she was excited to see me but didn't jump into my arms like I thought (my little girl is growing up!) She had so many adventures around the neighborhood without Mommy and was totally comfortable with my parents, grandparents, and siblings. When we got back to our home she enjoyed playing with all the toys we left behind and she was back to her usual snuggly self in a few hours. Bedtime routine was normal. Overall everything worked out BH!

To answer all the questions:

-Did you cry when you left? No but my husband did.

-Did you miss her? Yes, especially when we saw babies her age.

-Was she on your mind 24/7? No.

-Why did you have to go now? My husband had a grueling year and was looking forward to this for months to help him get through it. This was our last opportunity for vacation for the next 5+ years.

-Why didn't you bring her? The stuff on his bucket list was not baby friendly.

-Was it worth it? 100%

-What if her husband leaves her one day because of abandonment issues (?!?!?)? Then she'll always have a place with me, I'm her mother.

-Do you regret anything? I only regret posting on imamother for advice lol.

Peace out 😘

Fave

Tue, Aug 08 2023, 7:55 pm

amother OP wrote:

Go girl go!!!

ittsamother

Tue, Aug 08 2023, 8:09 pm

amother OP wrote:

Good for you! I'm glad you did it and enjoyed Smile

amother

Offwhite

Tue, Aug 08 2023, 9:19 pm

amother OP wrote:

Med School Wife? Wink

flowerpower

Tue, Aug 08 2023, 9:23 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thanks for the update! So glad it worked out!!!

amother

Offwhite

Thu, Aug 10 2023, 3:11 pm

amother OP wrote:

shhhhhh

It takes one to know one.
Fellow doc wife here Wink

I just want to say you usually get a winter break and sometimes more and during fourth year there are also opportunities to get away.
You got this!
(I think there is less opportunity during residency if you use your vacation time for yom tov)