Why is my son great in school and impossible at home?

amother

Impatiens

Wed, Aug 16 2023, 12:06 pm

amother OP wrote:

just wondering how you know he has adhd? I’m wondering if there’s something I’m missing.

He was evaluated anyway for other stuff as part of his delays with a neuropsych eval and that was one of the conclusions but he's a little young so his care team wasn't sure about medicating him yet but it's getting worse so I think that's our next step.

amother

Impatiens

Wed, Aug 16 2023, 12:07 pm

amother Emerald wrote:

It may wear off but he'll automatically be calmer at home because school won't be such a struggle for him. It's a chain reaction. You set things straight in school and the change at home will follow.

Yeah that's what the neurologist said but he was only 5.5 at the discussion so that was a concern as well. Now he's older so I think it's our next step.

amother

RosePink

Wed, Aug 16 2023, 1:31 pm

I'll be the third or fourth to say this is very very common with pandas. My dd with pandas at her worst was an angel in school and a terror as soon as she got home. It may have to do with feeling safer at home, but I think there's also an element of anxiety and perfectionism (part of her pandas) that makes her super rule following and people pleasing in school.

amother

RosePink

Wed, Aug 16 2023, 1:33 pm

amother Plum wrote:

can I jump in about this please? because I really think my teenage daughter's extreme, explosive behavior this year might be due to PANDAS (she had multiple recurring strep infections this past year, including an awful abscess in her tonsil that needed to be drained by an ENT) but she generally holds it together outside the home and is actually very happy in certain settings (with baby nieces and nephews, at her camp job with lots of people. she is a huge extrovert and thrives on people and action) but she is extremely volatile at home, especially with me. has major explosive tantrums and says very extreme things at those times. she has always had a short fuse but this year it got way worse. But since she can control herself out of the house, (and she also doesn't have tics or any obvious OCD symptoms), I wasn't sure if PANDAS could explain it. Can you please elaborate on this?

See my post above.

Also, tics and ocd can show up differently in children than you'd expect. Took me forever to realize that skipping and jumping were tics, for example. And that ocd was hiding as intrusive thoughts mostly, not classic compulsive behaviors. But also that a lot of rage and meltdowns were driven by "stuckness" which is also an ocd.