S/o why would you NOT get evaluation

amother

Sun, Aug 20 2023, 12:11 pm

If you suspect adhd or asd in your young child why wouldn't you get eval.

Expensive ? In denial? Don't want a label? Don't know how to?

(I was running for eval as soon as I realized something was off... got adhd and asd... hopefully we can only improve now with the right help)

amother

Freesia

Sun, Aug 20 2023, 12:15 pm

Thankfully was able to help my child without meds though it was a process.
The only gain of a label would've been financial as we would've been reimbursed.
The downside would've been the school insisting on meds to come into class as well as a permanent label they can blame all their issues on.

amother

Petunia

Sun, Aug 20 2023, 1:30 pm

As a teacher, reasons I commonly hear from parents are:

1) denial - they see a diagnosis as something shameful and cannot admit their child is struggling
2) they will not give meds no matter what, so don't see the point
3) expense

amother

Arcticblue

Sun, Aug 20 2023, 2:10 pm

Other: school was pushing it for financial reasons on their end . They get funding and have a quota to fill with special ed students .
We did end up doing an evaluation privately instead of using the psychologist they wanted us to use, and child came out with no dx, perfect scores on every test.
Was a waste of time, energy and money.

amother

Periwinkle

Sun, Aug 20 2023, 2:47 pm

amother Arcticblue wrote:

💯 exactly!
I worked in a mental health clinic in a very large Jewish community for a few years. I saw first hand how the were so quick to give a diagnosis because it meant more money. I refuse to go down that rabbit hole. Parents came begging for ASD diagnosis. The answer isn't always medication. Many times it's also parents being lazy. Rather drug up your kids then deal with the issue at hand. (Yes I have the liberty to say that because that is how I grew up)

amother

Blueberry

Sun, Aug 20 2023, 2:54 pm

amother Periwinkle wrote:

A lot of "destigmatization" people will jump on anyone who says medications are sometimes misused, but it's the truth.

LovesHashem

Sun, Aug 20 2023, 3:50 pm

amother Periwinkle wrote:

I agree medications can be overused, and for other diagnoses under used.....

amother

Peach

Sun, Aug 20 2023, 3:55 pm

amother OP wrote:

Interesting I never once considered meds
I just needed answers

curious what answers did you get.
if you won't medicate, what's the downside of just researching different issues that people with ADHD have and learning from. evaluations are expensive. if it was free I would consider it a lot more strongly. thankfully the school hasn't asked for one in my case, I just wouldn't be surprised if my dd has ADHD.

Bnei Berak 10

Sun, Aug 20 2023, 4:03 pm

amother Periwinkle wrote:

Lazy parents? Could you elaborate?

amother

Sun, Aug 20 2023, 4:05 pm

amother Peach wrote:

My child's specific weaknesses were highlighted. Until then I had no idea what was going on, I just knew this kid is impossible. (Maybe it's the age, preschool)

For myself for example I won't get eval bc I don't want to medicate and I just utilize adhd strategies which really help. But I wasn't an impossible child

amother

Powderblue

Sun, Aug 20 2023, 4:07 pm

My sisters in law are in denial. The point in a diagnosis is to gain tools to properly work with the child. Teach them skills they won't learn on their own. My family used to be against diagnosis until they each had child who struggled...low self esteem is crippling.

amother

Royalblue

Sun, Aug 20 2023, 4:11 pm

Complicated question.

I am not running to get my DD9 evaluated for ASD, even though she is quite puzzling and has a sibling with it.
Here are my reasons:

1. Expensive: Good evaluations are expensive. I'm in Israel. If the kid is diagnosed as ASD, then the evaluation will pay itself back with disability. But if the kid isn't on the spectrum, that's a good 4k NIS (more than I earn a month...) spent. The evaluations covered by insurance IME aren't good enough. They will catch the textbook cases and nothing else.

2. Resources: What will the diagnosis give the child? I don't know of any Charedi school for HFA girls anywhere near me. So if DD gets diagnosed, she's likely going to stay in her current school with minimal therapy and support. The school has actually never even recommended that I get her extra help within the school... they say she doesn't need it.

3. Stigma: In her case, there's very little she will even get out of the diagnosis. Why do I want her to live with the label of it? She will be growing up like any other kid, but she will have a label that will make her different... and the label won't do enough to help her.

She IS getting therapies but based on other things.

amother

Royalblue

Sun, Aug 20 2023, 4:16 pm

I also have a DS who I did get evaluated. Sometimes I ask myself why I did it... But in his case
Back to my reasons

1. Expensive: Once I shelled out a ton of money, I knew the chances he'd be diagnosed was high. I had come out of denial. Also, the school psychologist felt strongly this was the case.

2. Resources: He actually is beH getting some of his therapies in school. Plus there's an amazing HFA school relatively near us. If this year doesn't go well for him, my plan is to move him there next year.

3. Stigma: He doesn't try to be like everyone else. He sticks out as it is. I also don't want anyone to marry him not knowing.

amother

Royalblue

Sun, Aug 20 2023, 4:18 pm

These 2 kids also have ADHD. That I didn't hesitate to get diagnosed. It also wasn't a hard thing to do because they both have pretty textbook cases.

Medicine has its chesronos, but it has done tons for these two. Including enabling my son to stay in a regular class. There's no way he could without meds. I have them off of them in the summer for the most part at least.

amother

Periwinkle

Sun, Aug 20 2023, 4:36 pm

amother OP wrote:

Interesting I never once considered meds
I just needed answers

In the mental health world and special ed world I have found that answers = medication.. medication = side affects which = more medications...
I am not saying that there isn't a time and place but! I do find that is it way overused when no necessary!

amother

Periwinkle

Sun, Aug 20 2023, 4:43 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Lazy parents? Could you elaborate?

I shouldn't say it as a hard rule but in my experience from growing up and seeing now other people in my life. Some parents just want easy answers. They don't want to invest time, energy, and money into their kids that need extra attention. So they run for a diagnosis to just drug up the kids. I can tell you first hand my parents just got us all diagnosed as kids. Adhd, and asd. BH me and my siblings are all the type to not just take a pill and we pulled out. Not a single one of us actually have ADHD or ASD. If I can tell you what the medications my parents put me on did to me. Medication and diagnosis isn't a joke. and no I am not an anti vaxxer or natural health type of person. I just feel this world became to dependent on all this and parents just use it as an excuse to get away with not parenting.
Just want to add that I in no way am saying that there is not a time and place for a diagnosis and medication but it is very much overused.