What does your very yeshivish 16 year old son do as a hobby

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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

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amother

Sun, Aug 27 2023, 11:57 am

My son loves to learn and would learn day and night if he could. I’d like to help him out with social skills and just in general to do things other than learning. He wouldn’t go to a bowling alley but I have no clue what else to do since he is not comfortable going to a lot of places due to tznius reasons for him a straight yeshiva bochur . For mothers with kids like this can you give me ideas of ways to broaden his mind a and help him socialize.

amother

Periwinkle

Sun, Aug 27 2023, 11:58 am

Guitar

amother

Chocolate

Sun, Aug 27 2023, 11:59 am

Ds has a friend that fixes all the bikes in the neighborhood. He makes money, interacts with kids, and has something constructive to do I'm his free time.

My kids play sports and go to the gym

amother

Sun, Aug 27 2023, 11:59 am

amother Periwinkle wrote:

Guitar

Ty! But what about the socializing part

amother

Coral

Sun, Aug 27 2023, 11:59 am

Chess

amother

Periwinkle

Sun, Aug 27 2023, 12:00 pm

amother OP wrote:

Ty! But what about the socializing part

It will help him with socializing
Ime the boys in yeshiva who are into music (especially in dorm yeshivas) end up kind of gravitating towards each other, playing together etc

amother

Pansy

Sun, Aug 27 2023, 12:03 pm

amother Periwinkle wrote:

It will help him with socializing
Ime the boys in yeshiva who are into music (especially in dorm yeshivas) end up kind of gravitating towards each other, playing together etc

This. playing guitar and anything else if he’s musical will help him spend time with other kids that also do that.
Is he interested in earning money? Can he give haircuts? Do binding of seforim? Does he like to Lein?

amother

Sun, Aug 27 2023, 12:06 pm

amother Pansy wrote:

Yes loves to lein but I’m trying to steer him more toward something not yiddishkeit related (yikes that sounds bad lol)and more social

amother

Wine

Sun, Aug 27 2023, 12:07 pm

My son is almost 14.
He plays keyboard and piano.

It's social because, for example, when he had some time after lunch, he played piano in yeshiva and some boys joined.

But he's in 9th and their Rebbe told them not to learn during lunch as they just started a grueling schedule. They need to adapt.

amother

Marigold

Sun, Aug 27 2023, 12:08 pm

Keyboard - not very sociable
We live OOT and he's actually dorming now.
When he's home he socializes in Shul after davening and gets together with his former classmates - they'll go get pizza or something. But in general he doesn't spend too much time socializing.

Cheiny

Sun, Aug 27 2023, 12:10 pm

amother Periwinkle wrote:

It will help him with socializing
Ime the boys in yeshiva who are into music (especially in dorm yeshivas) end up kind of gravitating towards each other, playing together etc

I’ve found the opposite. Practicing and playing is done more on their own and it’s somewhat more isolating than some other hobbies…

My ds is into sports, he’s been playing in leagues for a few years and loves it.

imthatawesome

Sun, Aug 27 2023, 12:17 pm

What about volunteering? Going to sing for sick kids, packaging for tomchei shabbos, cooking for hospitals/ppl in need. Most volunteer work is done with others so he’ll have the social aspect and you’ll have an easier time convincing him to do it since it’s a mitzvah

amother

Black

Sun, Aug 27 2023, 12:19 pm

Chess
Basketball
Football
Keyboard
Draw
Paint
Blender

amother

Heather

Sun, Aug 27 2023, 12:22 pm

My son is like this.
His rebbe advised him to
1. Go to the nursing home and visit with residents.
2. Ride a bike.

amother

Forsythia

Sun, Aug 27 2023, 12:27 pm

amother OP wrote:

During the year my 16 yo son socializes in yeshiva. He doesn't really have time for anything else.

In the summer in camp.

On shobbos he has a Friday and shobbod afternoon chavrusa and socializes with him.

Bein hazmanim and off shobbosim he goes to learn and then helps around the house and socializes with his famlly. He bike rides to other parts of town (Lakewood) to meet up with his friends from his shuir, and very rarely - from elementary . Learning is actually pretty social as lots of neighborhood boys are there.
He also reads, but that's not social.

His shuir regularly arranges kumzitzs and get togethers, including bowling, during off shobbos and bein hazmanim. These aren't his thing but he goes to be social.

Honestly, he's dropped most of his hobbies he had as a boy. I think only those very into their hobbies keep them, if they have heavy learning schedules.

amother

Pansy

Sun, Aug 27 2023, 12:45 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yes loves to lein but I’m trying to steer him more toward something not yiddishkeit related (yikes that sounds bad lol)and more social

My DS that was like that is now grown. But the leining can be social and he also taught Bar Mitzvah boys to lein-also social. He was always into sports so that helps. Is your DS?

amother

Forestgreen

Sun, Aug 27 2023, 12:47 pm

It’s fine for hobbies to be yiddishkeit related, especially if they’re also social. Leining is a great hobby, brings up confidence, people come over and compliment him, etc.

My son also likes to hike and go on walks, both considered very yeshivish hobbies.

amother

Forsythia

Sun, Aug 27 2023, 1:09 pm

Op, are you seeking, something with an emphasis on "social" or "outside hobby"?

amother

Marigold

Sun, Aug 27 2023, 3:13 pm

amother Forestgreen wrote:

My son gets paid to lein but it also takes up alot of his spare time. Definitely not a relaxing hobby.

laptop

Sun, Aug 27 2023, 3:19 pm

Book binding very popular for yeshiva bachurim. And also cooking, making potato kugel shnitzel, you know, bachur kind of foods

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