Sent 18 month old out for first time

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

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aria3578

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 6:56 am

Just dropped off my 18m old at Morah. She’s my only kid. Kept her home till now. Was expecting her to cry and want me to stay but she just sat down and played and didn’t care when I left.

Idk why I feel lk she didn’t want me. Lol I know it sounds crazy. But in a way I wanted to kvetch and/or cry a little.

My mother says it means she’s a healthy child.

Anyone could mk me feel better ?

amother

Black

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 6:57 am

It's a sign of healthy attachment bh! You gave her the confidence to be okay without you and to know that even though you left you didn't leave her forever Smile

SuperWify

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 6:58 am

Good for you that she has such a healthy attachment! You did good with her! Very Happy

Btw she might cry tomorrow morning when she realizes you’re going to leave her the whole day… my kids do that. They don’t realize the first day they are being left there for so long. It only hits them on day two.

amother

Obsidian

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 7:00 am

aria3578 wrote:

Yes! I can make you feel better.
I have five kids and the first four used to cry every time I drop them off the first week.
My youngest is the same way where you drop her off and she just goes happily.
The most amazing part is that by my first four I was working full-time and back to work pretty much right after birth, so you would think that they wouldn't have been crying... but this one I was home with and she is so much better adjusted.
The fact that I spent so much time with her actually made it easier for her to leave me because she trusted me more and knew that I would be back to pick her up to spend time with her again. I'm not saying that's the rule across the board, bec a lot is personality, but it's definitely an interesting observation that I've seen in my own kids.

amother

Blonde

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 7:01 am

My baby only cried when she was being picked up, not dropped off.

miami85

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 7:06 am

I used to teach preschool and I now I have my own kids B"H.

It's not always the first day that's the issue, that's when it's fresh and new and exciting, it's the everyday-that-mommy-leaves me that sometimes you see an issue.

18-months is the age for separation anxiety--it could be it hasn't quite sunk in yet.

Not all kids have significant issues with separation, its usually more of an issue for mommy who can't separate. That's often why I was glad when either daddy/my husband or school bus took kids to school b/c then there's already a separation before the child gets to school. Works better for both mommy and child in most cases.

amother

Bergamot

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 7:23 am

amother Black wrote:

It's a sign of healthy attachment bh! You gave her the confidence to be okay without you and to know that even though you left you didn't leave her forever Smile

Healthy attachment is to cry a bit when dropping off and happy when picking up.
Op's baby probably hasn't realized what's happening yet. Tomorrow will be the true test.

amother

Electricblue

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 7:27 am

My 18m baby cried today (second day) at drop off and I’m still crying and reevaluating all my life choices…

aria3578

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 8:57 am

Thank you everyone for ur responses
I guess I’ll havta see what happens tomorrow

amother

Floralwhite

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 10:02 am

Sorry to burst your bubble but probably she didn’t realize you were leaving or for so long.
Tomorrow she’ll probably cry.
It’s actually healthy when they cry, little kids that age should have a healthy dose of stranger danger and should have a primary attachment to their mother.
After a while she’ll feel secure and shell get used to it.

aria3578

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 6:47 am

So day 2 drop off went smooth again
But this time she got up to watch me leave. And needed me to tell her dw mommy is gonna pick u up later

amother

Bergamot

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 7:17 am

aria3578 wrote:

So day 2 drop off went smooth again
But this time she got up to watch me leave. And needed me to tell her dw mommy is gonna pick u up later

I'm going with the idea that she has secure attachment and she trusts you'll pick her up soon and won't abandon her and she's smart enough to understand what's happening.

amother

Rose

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 7:41 am

Each kid is different. My youngest was quite attached to me because of covid. Never used a babysitter because my husband works from home. Last year she took 2 weeks to adjust. This year she was thrilled to go back to school. Please don't overthink it.

amother

Clematis

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 12:30 pm

my baby is taking the switch so well BH. I'm relieved and happy but also secretly anxious that her attachment should be healthy and if this is a bad sign in my parenting.

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