DS touched his friend inappropriately….

amother

Mon, Sep 11 2023, 7:38 pm

We got a call from the boys father today who was understandably upset because his son (same age as mine first grade) complained that my ds touched him in that area on the bus home today. I am so horrified and embarrassed. We often talk about personal space and privacy and all that with our kids and they aren’t exposed to these things. My first fear was that someone was doing this to my ds gd forbid. But when we asked him he said no one did it to him; and he didn’t seem to realize the seriousness of it he thought it was funny and said “ we do it to each other” so while I think it was innocent on my ds part, it concerns me that has no concept of how socially not appropriate this is.

amother

Cyan

Mon, Sep 11 2023, 7:50 pm

Interesting . Another thread was started by a mother of a little boy who was touched on the school bus by a boy the same age as him. That child is 4. Is that your child’s age?

https://www.imamother.com/foru.....27607

amother

Mon, Sep 11 2023, 8:00 pm

amother Cyan wrote:

I just read that thread I was a bit freaked out but my child is 6 and so is the boy

amother

Mon, Sep 11 2023, 8:02 pm

amother OP wrote:

I just read that thread I was a bit freaked out but my child is 6 and so is the boy

also there was a mouth involved in that story and that child didn’t report anything like that….

amother

Vanilla

Mon, Sep 11 2023, 8:07 pm

amother Cyan wrote:

How would this help op?

amother

Mon, Sep 11 2023, 8:08 pm

amother Vanilla wrote:

How would this help op?

Yes thank you 🙏 I’m looking for some kind of help/support/ advice/ did anyone ever have this

amother

Mintcream

Mon, Sep 11 2023, 8:29 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yes thank you 🙏 I’m looking for some kind of help/support/ advice/ did anyone ever have this

I dont have any advice...but my son was touched as well, and nothing was done about it...we live in a sick and sad world and even though my kids principal laughed at me when I said "abusers, abuse and until you dont stop the chain our boys will live in dysfunction" I told him all boys touch each other because it was started by an adult !

amother

Hosta

Mon, Sep 11 2023, 8:33 pm

Young children touching each other is typical and not a sign of abuse unless it starts getting wierd like that other story. In your case, the other ther boy complained but it sounds like it was mutual. They need to be separated on the bus and supervised.

iamamotha

Mon, Sep 11 2023, 8:43 pm

try to get supervision on the bus ride home and maybe read your son the book about privacy and private areas.... you should be sensitive when telling him so this way he can always feel comfortable coming to his mother for help and not
Be afraid I would get advice on how you can speak to your son the correct way good luck!!

amother

NeonPink

Mon, Sep 11 2023, 8:47 pm

amother Mintcream wrote:

Not necessarily. Some touching can be curiosity.

amother

Cadetblue

Mon, Sep 11 2023, 8:49 pm

https://amudim.org/

Contact amudim, you will get advice from specialists in this field

smss

Mon, Sep 11 2023, 8:58 pm

This was touching over clothes?
I'm no expert but for a 6yo boy and same age friend this doesn't sound super alarming. Deal with it yes, panic no. Keep talking about body safety rules.

amother

Mon, Sep 11 2023, 9:02 pm

smss wrote:

This was touching over clothes?
I'm no expert but for a 6yo boy and same age friend this doesn't sound super alarming. Deal with it yes, panic no. Keep talking about body safety rules.

Thanks this resonates with me. I have to have more talks with him. I just hope the parents don’t hate us

amother

Sage

Mon, Sep 11 2023, 9:14 pm

amother OP wrote:

he thought it was funny and said “ we do it to each other” so while I think it was innocent on my ds part, it concerns me that has no concept of how socially not appropriate this is.

Ask him what “we do it to each other” means. Did this boy do it to him?

Don’t contact amudim. He is six years old.

amother

Garnet

Mon, Sep 11 2023, 9:15 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thanks this resonates with me. I have to have more talks with him. I just hope the parents don’t hate us

They’d hate you if you would give excuses or dismiss their concerns. Tell them you’re taking it seriously and are planning to do xyz.

amother

Beige

Mon, Sep 11 2023, 9:53 pm

I'm not sure why they are upset if it was mutual. But possibly your son started it or the other kid felt guilty and told his parents and then blamed it on your son.

It's very very normal behavior for two boys on an unsupervised bus at that age.

I would just give him a strong shmooze about it not being tznius and not to do it again. If you can drive him back and forth for a while that might help. I'm assuming there is no supervision on the bus.

I just want to reiterate that it's completely normal.

amother

Gardenia

Mon, Sep 11 2023, 10:04 pm

Had this exact same thing happen when my son was 6 they were playing “doctor “ and touching private parts and also on the bus with his good friend ! of course I freaked out about it but after speaking to several professionals they all confirmed it’s normal curiosity and play but we did end up separating them..