Boredom, attention in shul

amother

Sun, Sep 24 2023, 10:49 am

I'm a fully grown adult. I used to love shul. I still do, in small doses, but decades of being fully out or in and out with kids have obliterated my ability to sit and be there for hours.

I have a kid who plans to be there most of the day. She assumes I will be too, and really needs/wants me to be with her. If I'm sick, obviously not. But I'm not sick, bli ayin hara- I just feel like my mind is exploding. Taking a walk every so often doesn't help. And I'm too old to just read something. I've already memorized the back of the machzor with all the halachos. I plan to really daven, to do my work, but once I've done that in my Shmoneh Esrei and Vidui, and some of the piyutim that call to me, I'm spent. Throw in yizkor and I'm done. But I have to be there, sit there. Help.

amother

Hawthorn

Sun, Sep 24 2023, 11:12 am

amother OP wrote:

It is very difficult. A mother is used to doing doing doing and sitting and davening is not easy!
First of all, no you don’t need to sit there with your daughter the whole time. It’s nice, but not necessary
If you’ve ever taken sod haadam, then you know how important it is to listen to your ratzon, for both your and your daughter’s sake.
Additionally, don’t be upset at yourself. Do what you can do. Hashem just wants you to want to be near him. He wants you to do what you could do! He sees every bit of effort!

amother

Sun, Sep 24 2023, 12:08 pm

amother Mint wrote:

Get another book appropriate to the day. Hilchot teshuvah or interpretations of the piyyutim or something along those lines, so you have something new to read.

So I used to do this. And I have unfortunately found lately that I can't be immersed in this type of things for too long anymore. For it to qork for me, I need to do it for a period of time and then have lomg breaksin between.

Dd is trying to stretch herself this year. She wants very much to do this, and it will help if I am there. I can take small breaks, but I really need to just go home for two hours and nap or read something very light. I do feel bad about that.

amother

Navy

Sun, Sep 24 2023, 5:09 pm

I am struggling with the same thing. I think that as I get older (I'm not so old- upper 30's) I am having a harder and harder time sitting and focusing in situations where there is no active listening. I have lost my ability to sit through shiurim, speeches, and shul.
It's really tough, because I only have one child, and I desperately want more, and I have SO MUCH to daven for, and then I feel so guilty when I leave shul, because I just can't sit for so long Sad

amother

Azalea

Sun, Sep 24 2023, 5:49 pm

My family says tehilim in shul during the time that you just sit and listen to the chazan. We finish the entire tehilim this way. My mother says when she was a kid, all the older women in shul used to say tehilim during davening like that.