I can relate to many of you... AMA!

amother

Fri, Sep 29 2023, 6:26 am

amother Crystal wrote:

Was the child with ds your first? When did the challenge hit? I'm asking cuz wondering if ds came after additional nisyonos and if that affected how you handled it

The child with DS came as a gift to us recently and brings so much Brocha, joy and laughter into our home. He is one of our biggest blessings in life kah! Thank you Hashem for this gift, who's just wrapped in a different color wrapping paper.
My older DC mentioned: Any family who wants to be happy, must have 'a child WITH Down syndrome'! Another DC: Imagine if we would've 'chas v'sholem' given him away, like other people do.
This is not a nisoyon. It's not always ez, but he's a brocha just like any other child. (The most challenging is the child who's (HF-ASD. typical, yet! He looks regular, yet is soooo challanging behaviorally. He could have a meltdown and tandrum in a store without a trigger warning, it could be so embarrassing and I still dont know how to deal with his outbursts and rebellion. Also my other DC who always anxious and has so much anxiety, as well as the child who's struggling academically and socially).
Ok, lemme be honest. When I gave birth to my DS with Down syndrome (notice that he isn't a down syndrome, he has a diagnosis- called Down syndrome). I didn't know what a brocha he would be. I was HIT with this challenge, I was disappointed and upset, I didn't see it a brocha. Only later, the older he gets, the cuter he becomes kah!

amother

Fri, Sep 29 2023, 6:38 am

amother Mistyrose wrote:

OP, just want to tell you that I have a special place in me heart for children with special needs and of course DS children just melt my heart. I did work in special education for many years from profoundly disabled to mild learning disabilities. From adorable 2 year olds to very challenging adults. And I loved all of them. Though all my children are "normal" I do know what life is like with special needs children.
Which of your special needs children is the most challenging? The least? What type of comments do you appreciate? What type of comments don't you appreciate?

Hakol Hakavod that you have a soft spot for 'children WITH special needs' (not Down syndrome children).
Though it is soooo far different when working with them or fostering them than when raising tour own child 'with' down syndrome.
When you work with them or take them in to raise, you do it for pay, and it's not your own blood. You can love them to pieces but it's it's still veeeeery different. (I wonder if negative comments sting as much).
As mentioned above, my DC on the spectrum is most challenging. He's high functioning, or rather normal. Yet so challenging emotionally.
My son who's always in a negative state, sees everything as bad, and everyone being against him, doesn't have a simchas hachayim, is very challenging. My DC with ADHD and has a learning disability, who's unpredictable and can lash out at anytime something doesn't go his way is a big challenge.
Statements I appreciate, is letting me know how sweet they are, and being accepting of them and me, regardless.
Statements I dread, giving me unsolicited advice and unhelpful opinions. People who claim they totally understand when they have absolutely no clue about this child. If only you would do this or that, he/she would've been better....