I'm 1/2 Sephardic 1/2 Ashkenaz - AMA

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amother

Mon, Oct 02 2023, 5:16 pm

I'm half Sephardic half Ashkenaz married to half Sephardic half Ashkenaz.
Ask away. 😀

dena613

Mon, Oct 02 2023, 5:31 pm

What type of Sephardic?
Who made the shidduch?
How old were your parents when they married?

amother

Crocus

Mon, Oct 02 2023, 5:57 pm

What do you identify yourself as ?
As a joke if the next generation had to tip the scale where do you want it to go ?

amother

Garnet

Mon, Oct 02 2023, 5:59 pm

I know in Israel half half marries half half. I think in America people marry halfs and even fulls on both sides. Why did you marry a half half?

amother

Mon, Oct 02 2023, 6:01 pm

dena613 wrote:

What type of Sephardic?
Who made the shidduch?
How old were your parents when they married?

I prefer not to answer exactly what type, not to out myself, but we blend in with the Syrian community.
We were introduced by a mutual friend.
His parents upper 20s/30 when they got married, mine were lower twenties when they met.

amother

Camellia

Mon, Oct 02 2023, 6:01 pm

amother Garnet wrote:

I know in Israel half half marries half half. I think in America people marry halfs and even fulls on both sides. Why did you marry a half half?

I'm assuming because that's her husband LOL

amother

Stonewash

Mon, Oct 02 2023, 6:02 pm

Same! I feel like a marble cake. I have the best of both worlds Smile

amother

Mon, Oct 02 2023, 6:03 pm

amother Crocus wrote:

What do you identify yourself as ?
As a joke if the next generation had to tip the scale where do you want it to go ?

We identify as Sephardic.
We'd tip it to the Sephardic side. Lol

amother

Mon, Oct 02 2023, 6:03 pm

amother Stonewash wrote:

Same! I feel like a marble cake. I have the best of both worlds Smile

Right? Love it!!

amother

Mon, Oct 02 2023, 6:05 pm

amother Garnet wrote:

I know in Israel half half marries half half. I think in America people marry halfs and even fulls on both sides. Why did you marry a half half?

I didn't only date half-half, but it definitely feels right that we understand each other's backgrounds.

amother

Hosta

Mon, Oct 02 2023, 7:39 pm

I know my question can come off as rude, and feel free not to answer. I am genuinely asking because I want to know and understand, is the stereotype that Sephardi men are misogynistic true? If yes/ no please explain…

I work in a somewhat Sephardi environment, and have heard this from a coworker. If you can explain the culture to me, it would really help irl.

amother

Amaranthus

Mon, Oct 02 2023, 8:04 pm

amother Hosta wrote:

Some yes, some not.
Some Ashkenazi men ( heavy old time European )are also misogynistic

amother

Hosta

Mon, Oct 02 2023, 8:10 pm

amother Amaranthus wrote:

Some yes, some not.
Some Ashkenazi men ( heavy old time European )are also misogynistic

Definitely agree that there are some ashkenazi misogynistic men, but it’s not a stereotype. What makes it a stereotype? Is it completely unfounded?

amother

Mon, Oct 02 2023, 8:24 pm

amother Hosta wrote:

To say that all Sephardic men are misogynistic is false and a ridiculous stereotype! They respect and value their wives and value them as equals, and not inferior in any way, just like good men of other cultures.

The Sephardic culture happens to lean more traditional, where the man is the breadwinner and a big percentage (though definitely not all!) of the women are more domestic, which might lead people to believe that its a misogynistic culture, but that is far from the truth.
Naturally, if the man is the financially supporting spouse and the woman is the one home with the children, the basic home keeping tasks would be her responsibility. But that is just a traditional household model, and not at all a misogynistic one! I hope that clarifies any assumptions, stereotypes or confusion.

(FYI This does not mean that the women are less educated, intelligent or capable than women of other cultures. We have Sephardic female doctors, lawyers, therapists, businesswomen and many other career women throughout the community.)

amother

Amaranthus

Mon, Oct 02 2023, 8:26 pm

amother Hosta wrote:

Definitely agree that there are some ashkenazi misogynistic men, but it’s not a stereotype. What makes it a stereotype? Is it completely unfounded?

It’s a common attitude in many middle eastern countries.
It fades with the younger generations, for instance if the grandfather was born in a Middle Eastern country he will have absorbed the attitude strongly, his son picks up on it, the grandson to a lesser extent or ,maybe not at all.

amother

Hosta

Mon, Oct 02 2023, 10:06 pm

amother OP wrote:

I really really appreciate this distinction. What you said makes a lot of sense!

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