How to navigate sudden poverty

amother

Mocha ↓

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 7:14 pm

amother OP wrote:

DH was just told he’s losing his job. He was earning around $600k/year (before taxes) which I know sounds like a ton but we are a family of 8 living in the tri state area and have very little savings. I earn $70k/year (before taxes) and we spend over $100k/year on tuition and mortgage alone.

He was given 4 weeks notice. For various reasons, the chance of him finding a job that pays that amount (or ANY job at all) within the next 4-8 weeks is slim to none. I honestly doubt he’ll find another job paying anywhere near this amount EVER.

I’m trying to take a deep breathe and figure out how to make this work but am seriously at a loss.

Some questions I have are:
1) How do I get health insurance for my family (we currently are on insurance through his employer but obviously that will end and there’s no way we can afford the cobra rates)?
2) What, if any, programs will we be eligible for (to help pay for groceries) and how do we get them? We’ve never been on public assistance but I don’t see how we’ll pay for even groceries after the first month (we have enough savings to get us through a month or two)?
3) I know we have to call the schools to ask for tuition breaks (currently paying around $15k/child/year) but we’re still going to have to pay SOMETHING. How are we going to find the $ for this?
4) Are we supposed to be emptying out our retirement account (would buy us another couple of years)? Sell our house? Both?

I am having such anxiety over this please give me any suggestions and resources you have on how to navigate this.

Thank you!

600k a year?

Budget tightly. You should definitely be able to put away. How much do you spend a month?

amother

↑ Razzmatazz

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 7:16 pm

I just checked the nj medicaid guidelines. A family of 8 making 69528 k is entitled to medicaid for the entire family, including adults. Are you making exactly 70k? If yes it would be worth taking a tiny cut in order to qualify

You can apply now, with a letter from the employers listing his last date of employment.

Reach out to lrrc, you mentioned you're in nj, they can help you figure out what other benefits you are entitled to, and how to apply.

Does your husband have disability insurance? If yes, find out if they'd cover your mortgage while he can't work.

Reach out to the schools now, say you really can't afford the tuition right now. You've been paying full for years, I assume they'll be understanding.

amother

↑ Mocha

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 7:18 pm

amother Azalea wrote:

This must be really hard for you. Keep in mind there are a ton of people with 6 kids in the tristate area making way way way below 600+70. It’s obviously going to be a huge shock to your life but iyh you will be ok and hopefully soon he will find a new job.

This. You will likely need to learn how to live frugally and I'm sure savings from this last month of his work will pull you through.

amother

↑ Maize ↓

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 7:58 pm

amother Quince wrote:

I can't imagine niether is getting insurance from work, and it's impossible to spend that much. There are out of pocket maximums.

We have 3 kids bh. Insurance and medical cost us over 40k this year (including copays and out of pocket costs, we didn’t do anything out of network by choice). This is the plan through my husbands employer. Private insurance is the biggest scam and I don’t think people realize what a fortune it is.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 8:33 pm

amother Electricblue wrote:

That's not what I said. Op was living on 670k. That's A LOT of money! She should see where she can cut as much as she can. And there will be place to cut. She is going to need to find more income somehow. She is going to need more than 70k even though ppl live on that also.

Just to clarify, after taxes, we were living off less than $400k. After tuition, mortgage, and loan repayment, we were living off about $200k.

amother

Outerspace

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 8:37 pm

amother OP wrote:

Just to clarify, after taxes, we were living off less than $400k. After tuition, mortgage, and loan repayment, we were living off about $200k.

Where does the remaining 16k a month go? Try to think about what you can cut out to make your emergency fund last longer. Most families this size are not spending nearly this much after tuition, mortgage, and loan repayment.

amother

↑ Electricblue

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 8:44 pm

amother OP wrote:

Just to clarify, after taxes, we were living off less than $400k. After tuition, mortgage, and loan repayment, we were living off about $200k.

Tuition and mortgage are some of the largest bills a family has. What was the remaining 200k going to? Unless there are some hidden high bills then you definitely should have where to cut. I have almost as big a family as yours and live in much less than that and am comfortable and saving every month. With your tuition, loan repayment, and mortgage you lived on 400k that's a lot.of money ....

Also did you never have an emergency fund?? That's the #1 thing to always have. 6 months expenses...

amother

Crimson ↓

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 9:11 pm

amother OP wrote:

Are there really people in the tri state area with six school age children living on $70k? How?
Mortgage is around $40k/year and even if we beg and cry and plead I can't imagine the schools letting us pay less than $5k/child (we currently pay about triple that) which would be $30k leaving NOTHING left of the $70k salary. If you know of people who live on $70k/year (or do yourself), please give me tips on how

No unemployment?

I’m very low income and pay around 5k per kid. I’m often behind and catch up over the summer. You need to let the schools know your situation. They need to work with you.

I have section 8 or I’d be in huge trouble. Do not give up your house. That’s going out of the frying pan into the fire.

amother

↑ Maize ↓

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 9:31 pm

amother Electricblue wrote:

They were also saving, hence half a mil in retirement funds after 3 years…

amother

Bluebell ↓

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 9:48 pm

amother OP wrote:

Just to clarify, after taxes, we were living off less than $400k. After tuition, mortgage, and loan repayment, we were living off about $200k.

Most people live off of less (some far less) than 200K after taxes, and they have to pay tuition and mortgage from that along with everything else. I cannot imagine where all that money went to unless you were buying luxury cars.

sara_s

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 9:53 pm

You didn't share the reason your husband was fired, but he did get the 1st job, and since he's only been in the field for 2 years it sounds like it's a high paid field. It really seems a pity to totally give up on the field of work now. Maybe a slight shift is enough.

Can you in parallel to working out your finances have him devote efforts to trying to find a new job ASAP? I know many people who spend the time after they were given notice mainly networking and applying for jobs, still companies always prefer people currently employed. Also his current employer may be offering a termination package that includes job search counseling.

If the issue is social skills, that's something that can be worked on, initially with coaching to get through the interview process and afterwards long term coaching to help him keep his job this time.
Like, unless he's indeed lost his license or is standing trial, it seems a shame to give up on a promising career because of something that he can work on. (And even if worst case he gets fired again, at least you'll have income for another period of time beforehand!).
If he's in the Tech industry I'm happy to take a look at his resume and try to help him improve it, I often volunteer to coach people jobhunting in the tech industry. You could erase his name before you send it to me. DM me if relevant.

amother

↑ Bluebell ↓

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 10:05 pm

Personally I'm having trouble with the title of this thread You are not in poverty. You have a lot of assets. I was expecting to read something about you lost all your savings in some sort of scheme or you lost your house due to an act of Gd so the insurance wouldnt cover it. BH you arent living on the streets and you have food to put in your children's mouths.

amother

↑ Yolk

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 10:24 pm

amother Bluebell wrote:

For someone to go from 600k to 70k is poverty. Even with assets.