I let my baby cry it out today

amother

Trillium

Wed, Nov 08 2023, 9:50 am

amother Taupe wrote:

I see this thread is no longer about OP or about letting a child cry for 20 minutes once in a blue moon in a desperate situation.

I won't quote a specific post since I don't want anyone to feel 'attacked' Twisted Evil

My heart is aching reeding this.
I'm super sensitive to a baby's cry. Even when it's not my own. If you stay sane while hearing your own baby crying because he needs to fall asleep then I guess we are made of different material.
poor poor baby. They can fall asleep with a soothing voice at their side. They can fall asleep in your arms. In a carriage. Why does it have to be with tears?! your the baby's mother! A child does not have to fall asleep crying.
You feel that he's crying because he doesn't want to be left in his crib by himself. or that he still wants to play etc. So why don't you put him to sleep with more understanding to his feelings? He's a human being. He has feelings. Rock him to sleep. You don't have time for that? Then we're back at square one where your child cries because you have other things to do. Don't say you're letting the child cry because he doesn't want to sleep and needs the sleep. You're letting him cry because you don't have time to put him to sleep or for whatever reason.

I am not a new mother and already married off too. I never let my babies cry themselves to sleep. I always cringed when I heard a baby crying 'cuz he needs to fall asleep'
My kids fall asleep so easily on their own now. They have very healthy sleeping habits. ANd are healthy teens, adults BH! And I never used Melo-chew either but that's a topic on its own. I deal with and give of my time for my kids bedtime.
When I grew up, my mother didn't either let the babies cry themselves to sleep. We are all leading healthy lives.
Why would you think that if a friend's kids turned out the way they did with bad characteristics it is because their mother didn't let them fall asleep while crying?!! You gotta be kidding!
I'm really not understanding why people say it's the normal way of putting kids to sleep.people do it because they don't want or can't be busy with it.
Reposting a line I read a while back on this board: A mother will have to give an answer to every extra tear her child sheds.
It breaks my heart reading how people are so גלייכגילטיג to a baby's cry.

Wow.
I finally found someone who has the same thinkimg as me.!

Yes, bedtime takes me an hr every night for my younger kids, and getting my baby to sleep is a job but I would never let her cry to sleep..

amother

Forestgreen

Wed, Nov 08 2023, 9:50 am

tichellady wrote:

I read a lot about parenting and I’m confused what parenting experts you say are against sleep training and what they propose parents do instead. I have not found these experts except for Gabor mate who doesn’t explain what parents should do when a child refuses to sleep. I don’t like sleep training and I’m very intentional about how I do it but I also don’t like being so tired that I can’t drive safely and having cranky sleep deprived children. I have a feeling the people who rail against sleep training have children who are naturally decent sleepers. Anecdotally, I have a relative who is against sleep training and we have discovered while spending time together that she and her husband sleep through their baby crying because they are so tired

I haven't tried this personally but the best advice I heard that resonated with me was to soothe the baby and then leave the room. And give it a minute. If the baby starts crying again you go back in and soothe the baby. You keep doing this. The point is to be there to soothe the baby but also at the same time have the baby get used to falling asleep on their own.

amother

Mocha

Wed, Nov 08 2023, 9:59 am

amother Forestgreen wrote:

I'm just a regular mother. Not a phycologist or professional. But to me, this seems like the child is disappointed every time again when you leave the room.
crying for a few minutes on end is also heartbreaking. So maybe this is better. Don't know.
I personally don't let my kids go to sleep while crying.
If they're tired they'll fall asleep without crying with me at their side. I also don't need them to cry to become exhausted to fall asleep as I heard some people say.

amother

Blue

Wed, Nov 08 2023, 10:22 am

amother Trillium wrote:

Yes, bedtime takes a lot of time, intention and energy. Individuals tuck ins with each kid and creating a calming bedtime routine. I nurse an 18 month old to sleep for a nap. It takes a lot of kochos to be there for your baby for the first year or two but it wouldn’t be an option to let them cry. I have a lot of kids bh and it’s not easy but long term my kids are great sleepers and bh emotionally well adjusted. It’s worthwhile for the long term and for the short term.
Babies are little just once. It pains me to leave them crying.

icedcoffee

Wed, Nov 08 2023, 1:18 pm

Still trying to figure this out - let's say my 18 month old is overtired, had a bad nap day, cranky, fussy, crying as I put on pajamas, aggressively rubbing his eyes from sleepiness. I hold him and give him hugs and kisses, offer water, put him in the crib, whisper soothing words and say shema. He's still crying and rubbing his eyes from sleepiness but I know if I leave the room he'll be asleep within 1-5 minutes once I just give him the space to get himself asleep.

What would you do next?