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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Simcha Section
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amother
Lightblue
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 Sun, Nov 12 2023, 7:41 pm
| amother Hibiscus wrote: | You need to know your financial ability first.
I too would have loved to provide my daughter and her sisters (and myself) with new gowns, or high end rentals.
The budget for what you are putting out is easily a range from $30K -$75K+
Please don’t let anyone convince you, that it’s less than 30K.
We are a Kodesh family in a very tight budget. We did maybe 25% of what you are asking about, and it was close to that just for kallahs expenses.
We split the vort and wedding 50/50.
We did gemachs, and more gemachs, and did not host Sheva Brachos. (SIL is from across the country and his parents wanted to host, and while at first I was upset, when I realized I was saving myself thousands of dollars, we said, sure. Go ahead.)
Know your financial ability, BEFORE you decide the style Simcha you are making
Be true to yourself and your child or you will end up in enormous debt. |
Not 30k, that's even less than a tekanah wedding/gemach route. I would estimate around 100k based on what my friends are telling me. At least.
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amother
Foxglove
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Sun, Nov 12 2023, 7:50 pm
I got married in 2022 and my parents spent about 30k on the hall. They split flops so we just did the caterer which was 30k
Hair and makeup for wedsing for me, mother and sister was about 2500
My dress was $1800 rented
Mother and sister gowns 2k
Becher $500
Tallisim and 2 bags $800
Shas and other sefarim $4k
Shtender $200
I paid for my own wig and got 1 at $2500
Didn’t get any sheva b clothes
Paid for my own apartment and furnishings
Vort only my parents $5k
Shabbos sheva b, flowers, host gifts $6k
Might be missing others but this is like very normal and not fancy. No gemachs. Simple NY yeshivish
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amother
Chambray
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Sun, Nov 12 2023, 8:20 pm
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OP I think you don't care about a budget. 4 wigs?? 2 wigs are $10.000. 2 are $15.000 That's alot.
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amother
Heather
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Sun, Nov 12 2023, 9:03 pm
| amother Foxglove wrote: | I got married in 2022 and my parents spent about 30k on the hall. They split flops so we just did the caterer which was 30k
Hair and makeup for wedsing for me, mother and sister was about 2500
My dress was $1800 rented
Mother and sister gowns 2k
Becher $500
Tallisim and 2 bags $800
Shas and other sefarim $4k
Shtender $200
I paid for my own wig and got 1 at $2500
Didn’t get any sheva b clothes
Paid for my own apartment and furnishings
Vort only my parents $5k
Shabbos sheva b, flowers, host gifts $6k
Might be missing others but this is like very normal and not fancy. No gemachs. Simple NY yeshivish |
I’m from out of town but 5K is considered not fancy for a vort?
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amother
Jean
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Sun, Nov 12 2023, 9:06 pm
| amother Heather wrote: | | I’m from out of town but 5K is considered not fancy for a vort? | and she says it's only her parents which means the other side probably also paid another few thousand?
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amother
Foxglove
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Sun, Nov 12 2023, 9:22 pm
| amother Jean wrote: | | and she says it's only her parents which means the other side probably also paid another few thousand? |
It wasn’t split. Only my parents
Cakes, fruit, sushi, flowers, alcohol, personalized cookies
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amother
OP
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Sun, Nov 12 2023, 10:10 pm
Op here
Thanks for responses, they were all helpful.
A few asked about wigs. I wasn’t sure about 3-4. Were chassidish, no falls, and no lace, and not too long. So wigs are less if they’re shorter and no lace. (I just bought myself a new one and paid less than 2). I’m looking at midrange wigs from 2-3000 each. And I’d get 1 cheaper one. I wouldn’t need to spend 5 on a wig. So I can easily get 3 for under 10.
As for Chassan gifts, this is what friends are telling me. Most of these my dh did not receive as a Chassan. It’s newer trends I guess….
As for apt set up, it’s been awhile since I bought dishes and things. So I assume Corelli, since that what I got as a Kallah, practical and long lasting. But maybe there’s more out there reasonably priced that will give my daughter more options to choose from?
Linens someone said she got her dd 3 sets? I got 2 as a Kallah. Is 3 needed?
She has some beautiful clothing we got for this year season for her to wear to friends simchas. So I was thinking she should just set aside 2 outfits not to wear until her wedding to feel new the week of sheva brachas.
Any other suggestions? Or minor extra expenses that might come up that I’m not anticipating?
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amother
Lightblue
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Sun, Nov 12 2023, 10:58 pm
| amother Jean wrote: | | and she says it's only her parents which means the other side probably also paid another few thousand? |
The vort is usually paid for by the kallahs side.
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amother
Freesia
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Sun, Nov 12 2023, 11:17 pm
| amother OP wrote: | Op here
Thanks for responses, they were all helpful.
A few asked about wigs. I wasn’t sure about 3-4. Were chassidish, no falls, and no lace, and not too long. So wigs are less if they’re shorter and no lace. (I just bought myself a new one and paid less than 2). I’m looking at midrange wigs from 2-3000 each. And I’d get 1 cheaper one. I wouldn’t need to spend 5 on a wig. So I can easily get 3 for under 10.
As for Chassan gifts, this is what friends are telling me. Most of these my dh did not receive as a Chassan. It’s newer trends I guess….
As for apt set up, it’s been awhile since I bought dishes and things. So I assume Corelli, since that what I got as a Kallah, practical and long lasting. But maybe there’s more out there reasonably priced that will give my daughter more options to choose from?
Linens someone said she got her dd 3 sets? I got 2 as a Kallah. Is 3 needed?
She has some beautiful clothing we got for this year season for her to wear to friends simchas. So I was thinking she should just set aside 2 outfits not to wear until her wedding to feel new the week of sheva brachas.
Any other suggestions? Or minor extra expenses that might come up that I’m not anticipating? |
People like to talk but really not everyone gives ALL these.
Personally I wore my chasuna wear to Sheva Brachos only saved one new thing for Friday night.
There’s tons of little expenses that are really big so it’s worth being realistic and planning things out— invitations, alterations, shoes for the family, Sheva Brachos, badchan etc etc
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amother
Rose
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Sun, Nov 12 2023, 11:30 pm
Would you shop in non jewish stores to cut costs? Like wayfair and Ikea for furniture, Ikea for linen and a nice set from closeout connections.
Lingerie you can buy beautiful sets from asos, online, macys, nordstrom... doesnt have to be expensive Jewish prices.
What are host gifts? Would you go to homegoods or crate and barrel and get a nice serving platter and serving spoon? Or bottle of wine and cork stop? Or a beautiful tablecloth?
(can you tell im not chassidish? All my chassidish friends have such fancy and expensive events so I cant relate, just trying to help brainstorm!)
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DREAMING
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Mon, Nov 13 2023, 12:01 am
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Between carpool may have a list
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