How crazy is it to name after someone for money

amother

Aubergine

Tue, Dec 05 2023, 1:59 pm

I would do it and put the money in a trust for baby. “Dovi, you’re named after a relative and he wanted to make sure you had a good start as his namesake. Here’s $15k.”

If you take the money for yourself it does feel like you’re selling your baby’s identity to the highest bidder.

smss

Tue, Dec 05 2023, 2:00 pm

Gitty from Shtisel, right!! I was like, where have I heard this story before?? 😂
I'm not saying I WOULDN'T do it but I would have to feel totally good with giving the name even without the money. Meaning I like the name and I feel good about naming after that person. If those things weren't in place I don't think I could do it...

BrooklynBee

Tue, Dec 05 2023, 2:02 pm

amother Iris wrote:

Totally depends on the name and if you like it.
Is there a tzaddik or someone from the Torah with that name so you can feel like you named after the Torah name secretly?

I second this poster.
I would double-check with a Rav first to make sure it's not lying though...

amother

Yellow

Tue, Dec 05 2023, 3:21 pm

For reference, we are chasidish:

A grandfather had a name that is not very common in our circles at all, rather extremely rare.

I always wondered who he was named after and came to find out that his father named him after the "bris sponsor's" dad, or something like that (great -grandfather didn't have much money).

Said grandfather "with a weird name" was an amazing person: Funny, kind-hearted, generous etc.

I feel lucky to have given a name after him (even though this name doesn't go back generations).

Now when I hear this name being called, I can assume it's a cousin's kid, and so far it has always been.

Hi cousins!!

imaima

Tue, Dec 05 2023, 3:34 pm

amother OP wrote:

We are iyh having a baby boy, and really don't have any particular name picked out.
There are no grandparents or anything that we must name for.

We were probably going to just name after a gadol who's name we liked.

We were offered a substantial sum of money (in the $10-15K range) if we named after a relative that died without any children. I knew him vaguely, he was a nice man I guess, but was a bit eccentric and had a difficult life.
(My husband would only consider it if we added a name, but we would call baby by the relative's name.)

I am so torn. the money would definitely be helpful, but its so weird to me to be "selling" my baby's name for money.
I don't want to be thinking about this man (and the money) every time I call my baby his name for the rest of my life.
The whole thing is just strange.

My husaband said I sound like Gitty from shtisel lol and there is no reason not to go for it.
Help.

This is absolutely a scenario from Shtisel.
It didn’t realize that it happened irl.

Now, to be Gittel, you should do a mitzvah and offer to name after him for free.
Also, if you like the name, I would say why not?

amother

Seablue

Tue, Dec 05 2023, 3:39 pm

amother OP wrote:

I wouldn’t. I don’t like how some people think everyone has their price and can buy people. If someone did that to me, I would likely go out of my way not to have that name. What else would they ask you to do for money down the line? My freedom of choice is not for sale.

amother

Grape

Tue, Dec 05 2023, 3:46 pm

Don't do it. And 10k is really not that much money. I don't mean to sound bratty and I'm struggling financially myself , but for 10k ?? That's nothing. Not worth it for you to sell your babys name, your baby, yourself for that

amother

Clear

Tue, Dec 05 2023, 3:50 pm

I used to see adds for this, but I believe the family of the niftar being named for paid for "schar limud" for the child (aka tuition) which means this family paying is getting great deal!) To be fair, this is your relative too while the add was for random strangers.

I would also do a bit of research to determine if this distant relative was named for a common ancestor, e.g your 4x great grandfather, in which case its your name too.

I personally named on request from family members for two great uncles (two sons) that had no children. It made people so happy. One uncles wife ended up gifting us a very substantial amount after the fact.
The other was my grandmother's favorite uncle whose entire family was killed in the Holocaust. She put in the request with no pressure but spent several hours telling us stories about what a great man he was.

I would definitely consider this for a relative.

And yes, you WANT to think ofvthe niftar. If that gives you the creeps then I would decline.

seafood

Tue, Dec 05 2023, 3:55 pm

amother Carnation wrote:

If you’re able to do it gladly and see it as a mitzvah then do it. The money is just a bonus. Naming after this person means a lot to the family and will make them happy. Do it with this in mind.
If you aren’t feeling it, that’s a sign that you should not do it. I’m sure the family will find others who can do it with joy.

This! Do it as a major mitzvah, money is a bonus. Don’t do it for the money.

amother

Slategray

Tue, Dec 05 2023, 6:34 pm

My grandparents were asked to give a name for the father of a wealthy and bossy relative. She actually had a very good heart and looked out for my grandmother, who was her younger cousin and was orphaned in childhood. My grandfather was extremely proud and modest and did not want to take money from her. I think in the end, they used the name, but took nothing even though they definitely could have used the help. I named (by choice) for a relative who was a little unusual, but was deeply beloved, particularly by the children in the family. She never married, but she was kind and generous to my mother and my siblings. We gave that name as a middle name.