Teenage boy hygiene

amother

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 2:29 pm

Is there a way to teach this on manual? Asking for a friend. I’ve bought him everything from hampers to shoe deodorizers to industrial strength deodorant, but he always looks grungy, unkempt, and I never know where his laundry is. Help????

amother

Moonstone

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 2:47 pm

What part of him looks grungy? For the rest you just need firm rules. Everyone over a certain age showers daily and wears deodorant and clean clothing. No discussion, no argument, no negotiation. Stand in his room when he's getting ready for bed and let him know that he needs to put all the dirty clothing in the hamper. No clothing should be on the floor or the bed or the desk or whatever. Stand there with a pleasant smile on your face until he does it. Repeat nightly if necessary. If his shoes smell bad, you can use the deodorizer yourself when he gets home.

AlwaysGrateful

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 3:01 pm

I'm not clear on what the issue is. Is it the smell? Is it that he's missing clothing or his room is a mess? Or is it that he doesn't look put-together?

If it's the smell, take it from a mom of boys, teenage boys just have a natural smell. They could have just showered, put on deoderant, and put on a new change of clothes, and twenty minutes later they have a distinctive smell. Their room smells like boy, which I think is part of it...but it is what it is. Have you ever driven his friends around? If they smell like him, I'd say to ignore it.

If you can't find his clothing to wash them and his room is a mess, it's time to set down some ground rules. Tell him which days you do laundry and he needs to have the right number of each article of clothing in his hamper for the number of days since the last laundry run. His room has to be cleaned and vacuumed once a week before Shabbos.

If it's that he doesn't look "put together," again, look at his peers. Does he look no different than most of them? If so, look away. If he really looks "off" and you think it might affect him socially, try to pinpoint the issue. Is his hair a mess? Shorter hairstyles naturally look better even when not brushed great. Is his shirt untucked or his clothing dirty from food? Does he wear mismatched clothing?

I think you have to hone in on what the issue is and then focus on how to solve it. We can help, but not without more info.