WWYD - 3rd marriage: would you go?

amother

Forsythia

Sun, Dec 24 2023, 9:50 pm

Einikel wrote:

If this person was divorced twice I would be hesitant to go, thinking it wouldn't work out again
And it would just be a waste of time on my end...

Even if the marriage didn’t work out, why would the wedding be a waste of time? I don’t look back on any of the weddings I’ve been to where the couple ended up divorced as a waste of my time. I was there to celebrate a marriage, there was a marriage and nothing changes that fact if in the future there is no longer a marriage

amother

Latte

Sun, Dec 24 2023, 10:10 pm

amother Forsythia wrote:

I feel if the marriage dissolves at 6 months I deserve a refund on my wedding gift.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Sun, Dec 24 2023, 10:36 pm

Sibling only. I'm not sure that children are supposed to attend their parents remarriage(s) - chuppah for sure by minhag, but the rest of the wedding is OK halachically. For me, for a parent I would visit later for more quality time.
Attending is showing support and honoring the new couple.

I dont think a persons previous divorce reflects on the current marriage.
People evolve, just because one situation wasnt right, doesnt mean this one wont be. Its hurtful to think that a divorce means failure, it just means incompatibility in the long run.
Remarriage is a vote of confidence in the system Hashem gave us (לא טוב היות איש לבד). I think Hashem wants us together.
Remarriage after a death, doesnt denigrate the memory of those who passed away. In the right circumstances, it can actually honor it.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Sun, Dec 24 2023, 10:37 pm

amother Latte wrote:

I feel if the marriage dissolves at 6 months I deserve a refund on my wedding gift.

Dont give a wedding gift you cant afford.

amother

Tealblue

Sun, Dec 24 2023, 11:37 pm

Going to a simcha has nothing to do with the outcome. It’s a “gift” of sharing with others, caring for others, and basic friendship. What exactly does that have to do with your business if the marriage lasts or not?
Secondly, many people rush into a second marriage and then have no choice but to divorce. There are plenty plenty of successful third marriages.
Thirdly, why the judgement?

amother

Red

Mon, Dec 25 2023, 12:06 am

Just to say that I used to be judgmental about 3rd marriages. Until I made a friend who had two horrific husbands. I now understand how it can happen...and I hope that if she takes the plunge again, she gets the partner she deserves iyH 🙏

Miri1

Mon, Dec 25 2023, 12:22 am

Why the cynicism?
And besides a person doesn’t have to be marrying a third time only because they divorced twice before. It’s possible one of the spouses had passed away.

amother

Lilac

Mon, Dec 25 2023, 3:36 am

When my abusive uncle married his third wife and left his four children to raise his third wife’s children you can bet I didn’t attend.

amother

Orange

Mon, Dec 25 2023, 3:43 am

Chazal didn’t say it’s a Mitzvah to be משמח unless it’s a third marriage. I surprised by the question even. Some people have misfortune and we can’t judge

imasinger

Mon, Dec 25 2023, 6:15 am

If money is tight right now, maybe look for cheaper flights, hospitality, and use an Uber?

If this person is immediate family, it would be good to be there.

If you live far away, it's not unreasonable for just one person to go, to represent your family. That can save money, too.

amother

Ultramarine

Mon, Dec 25 2023, 6:21 am

Sibling definitely.! Anyone else depends on the relationship. .
At my second wedding I cared very much who attended!
My friend who is divorced twice I would make as much effort as for any other friend, ie probably not spend a fortune but a reasonable amount sure. She probably needs the support more than when she was a young girl..