WWYD BIL wants to buy us a gift we don't want

amother

Sand

Mon, Dec 25 2023, 9:34 pm

amother Hydrangea wrote:

I'm going to go against what everyone is saying here and maybe I didn't read the entire thread. Growing up with hoarder family members I think it's really wrong for people to force gifts on you. For so many years I was told what I had to store and keep in my house and I finally put my foot down. It's not a gift if it's useless and not even remotely wanted. Tell him thank you but you don't have the space for it.

This is totally not what OP.is dealing with. No one is forcing endless gifts on her. Her BIL wants to give a gift because he did not give them a wedding gift 5 years ago. Giving someone a gift once in 5 years is not considered forcing things on people. OP should accept it graciously and kindly and not hurt her BIL

If she doesn't have space for it she can give it away afterwards or throw it out or sell it

amother

Oleander

Tue, Dec 26 2023, 12:06 pm

If you know that he struggles emotionally, just say- oh wow! A record player? That’s so cool!! (He must think you would really like it and he wants to make you happy) These types of people become down so fast when they sense something they are doing isn’t appreciated. Just thank him and buy 2 records to play.
I just looked on amazon. You can buy a record player for $40. Don’t make a big deal about it. He wants to do something nice.

I have a similar dilemma. Someone bought me a couch! I HATE it so much! It was over $2,000. It is SO ugly. I feel so depressed when I go into my living room. My dh says there’s nothing we can do… we have to keep it. I would have been happy with an $800 couch if they really wanted to surprise me. I’m stuck with this humongous piece of furniture at least for the next 10 years.
It’s basically something that your great grandmother would probably like.
I have to maintain the peace so it is what it is.

amother

Grape

Tue, Dec 26 2023, 12:13 pm

amother Molasses wrote:

It’s all in presentation.
Thank you so much. It is so thoughtful and generous of you. Unfortunately, at this time the kids will distroy it as our home is small and there is no safe place to put it. It would really be a shame to waste it, so it’s doesn’t make sense at this time. I appreciate you checking with us before spending your money and gifting us something we can’t use. Once again, thank you for thinking of us and wanting to gift us, it is so so kind of you.

This plus a suggestion for what if he could buy if he insist he wants to buy something.
"Maybe an under-cabinet CD player would be safer and more useful!"

amother

Ebony

Tue, Dec 26 2023, 12:19 pm

I received a record player at age 8 or 9. My parents also had a small stereo system so there were always lots of child-appropriate LPs to pla. When I got married and had kids, I used the record player all the time for them. Now that the oldest DD is married with kids, she has the record player and all the old records.

Even without this anecdote, vinyl recordings are great and I would love to have my record player back.

amother

Ultramarine

Tue, Dec 26 2023, 12:36 pm

amother Oleander wrote:

Maybe you can use slipcovers?