S/O - boys and girls not sharing rooms - from when?

amother

Zinnia

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 2:48 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

They seem to live extremely cramped I must say. I doubt they enjoy it.

I have no idea if they enjoyed how they lived or not, but all kids are now married in homes of their own. Well rounded.
This has nothing to do with the thread. I was just showing that there is not always a way to separate the genders. Thats all.

amother

Zinnia

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 2:54 pm

amother Cadetblue wrote:

It just doesn’t work that way. All unnatural relationships involve a power play.

And Im telling you, from experience, that no, there is not always a power play involved.

Bnei Berak 10

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 2:58 pm

amother Zinnia wrote:

So we have seen from your example that it wasn't possible. Still *many* families do their utmost to try to separate accommodations for their kids. At least in my personal circles it's a non-negotiable.

amother

Cadetblue

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 3:46 pm

amother Zinnia wrote:

And Im telling you, from experience, that no, there is not always a power play involved.

Are you saying you were in such a relationship? And based on my professional experience I disagree it always is.

amother

Cadetblue

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 3:46 pm

amother Zinnia wrote:

Interesting that you have so much experience with all extremes we refer to. Very interesting.

BrisketBoss

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 4:25 pm

amother Cadetblue wrote:

Interesting that you have so much experience with all extremes we refer to. Very interesting.

You said that right after you implied that your professional experience is totally comprehensive. So that's interesting too, I guess.

amother

Raspberry

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 5:23 pm

My two cents:

I shared a room with my younger brother until I was 10, then my parents gave me my own room. I was a late developer with no understanding and had no idea why they were splitting us up. I was kind of annoyed.

In the meantime, I was being "experimented with" by my older sister, in her room. So much for that.

amother

Tealblue

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 12:16 am

I shared A room with a brother until I was 11-12 and he was 7-8.
I would not have boys and girls sharing psst 6 or so if possible. Definitely not if both ate over 7 or so.
None of my boys and girls share rooms.

amother

Viola

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 5:40 am

I have a 9yo boy sharing with dd8, dd6, and dd4. Two bunk beds. We do have another bedroom, but they all love being together and nobody wants to leave and we put them to bed together, so it's just so much easier this way. If ds were more independent and just went to bed instead of wanting me with him, I'd move him, but he's not. And the other room is much smaller with less light and just generally less appealing, so that doesn't help. But I'm thinking to move ds and my baby (also a girl...) into the other room soon because he really is getting big. I'm hoping if I clean it up and decorate it nicely, it will help him get used to it.

As an aside, my mom had a friend as a teen that she said was always uncomfortable sharing a room with her brother. I think there were only two of them and the parents just didn't bother separating them. But I don't know how much the girl spoke up about her discomfort. I didn't hear of anything happening per se, just general discomfort from lack of privacy.

My dh grew up with a brother and a bunch of sisters in a 2 br apartment in Israel. When his older brother was bar mitzvah, their father separated off a small section of the big room for the boys.

essie14

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 6:14 am

amother Whitesmoke wrote:

If I’m not mistaken modern orthodox are always okay with it, because they don’t believe incest will occur. But, if someone else is modern orthodox and thinks I’m wrong, you can correct me.

You are most definitely mistaken.
Why would you even say this if you're not modern orthodox?