Home organizer for ND Moms. AMA

amother

Wed, Jan 17 2024, 5:47 pm

amother Emerald wrote:

Here it is again (thanks!):

We actually had an organizer come organize my house but now it is back to a mess. No one in my house puts stuff away. Me, DH, DD are all ND. How can I get everyone to just put things away so the mess doesn't build up?

Timers don't work. Songs instead of timers don't work. Breakdown doesn't work either, most of the mess isn't necessarily garbage or laundry or dishes, it is just stuff. And this is after we purged the house of stuff we don't need and made places for things. It just gets put everywhere in the first place and then not cleaned up. And if we don't know where stuff goes we don't put it away, and that is most of the problem LOL

How can I get them to put things away right when they are done instead of just putting them down anywhere.

We have the same problem in our house. People don't put things away they just put things down. So so annoying!!!!!

Are you asking me (and think about this) how to get the people in your house to put things away OR how to maintain a house where people aren't putting things away?

The only way to get people to do anything is if there is motivation. Some people have more intrinsic motivation than others, some people are motivated by results, some are motivated by reward or consequence. I cannot motivate anyone else, but sometimes you can manipulate things once you understand how they are motivated. Sometimes. For many people with ADHD they don't function on motivation, only momentum that's why projects work better than maintenance. Getting started is actually the best way to get things done (I know moot point because when you have ADHD getting started IS the hardest part).

If your question is the second, can you maintain a house when people just put things down the answer is yes even though it's more annoying. Reframe it. It's not clutter, it's things that haven't been put away yet. You will probably need to do this once a day yourself or with another child/person, put everything you know where it goes away where it goes. Anything that you don't know where it goes but you think you need, put in a "lost and found" box. If someone is looking for something they can look there. After a set amount of time you can offer anyone to retrieve what they need and put away from the box and then toss what's in the box. Clutter attracts clutter so if you can clear spaces even if most of it gets put in the lost and found, it is less likely for the next clutter item to be put down.
Also do not do this 3 times a day, you will get burned out and resentful. Do it once a day.

amother

Wed, Jan 17 2024, 5:56 pm

To answer some technical questions.

I do not want to do this as a job. I'm not a professional, I don't want to advertise or keep track of the money and business side. I'm terrible at that stuff. I enjoy that it's a chessed. I meet amazing people and I feel like I'm using
my weird creative problem solving brain to help people. I like the lack of expectations. Sometimes people gift me something.

I do it once a week, but if someone watsapps me a question, I answer when I can.

amother

Seafoam

Wed, Jan 17 2024, 8:33 pm

Anyone else read this and found it helpful?
How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing

amother

Hydrangea

Wed, Jan 17 2024, 11:19 pm

OP I would love to hire you. ADHD here and house is flying. But I'm too embarrassed to have someone come and see how unorganized I am. You'll probably say you've seen it all right?

amother

Lightcoral

Wed, Jan 17 2024, 11:31 pm

amother OP wrote:

I just want to applaud you on this!
I am a professional organizer, and what you’re doing is amazing!
And your tips are all very on point!
You sound like an amazing person!

amother

Amaryllis

Wed, Jan 17 2024, 11:52 pm

amother Hydrangea wrote:

OP I would love to hire you. ADHD here and house is flying. But I'm too embarrassed to have someone come and see how unorganized I am. You'll probably say you've seen it all right?

I feel the same. Like even if I'm offered help, can't take it because too embarrassed

amother

Amaryllis

Wed, Jan 17 2024, 11:54 pm

Any advice for someone with a medical condition that really limits the amount of time they can spend on strenuous (define as non sitting) tasks? And also probably has adhd?

amother

Pewter

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 12:57 pm

Just coming on to say this is the nicest thread ever!
Op, you sound like an amazing person, honest with yourself and open with others.
Your attitude is absolutely amazing and I can see why people would feel comfortable having you help them in their most vulnerable state!

amother

Pewter

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 1:00 pm

amother Emerald wrote:

How can I get them to put things away right when they are done instead of just putting them down anywhere.

If you say timers and songs don't work, I believe you, they don't work for everyone.
Do you think it would work to do counting instead? Right before dinner everyone packs away 20 items. You don't serve dinner until that's done.
Sometimes if its built into the schedule and you don't need to use any extra tools like alarms/timers/songs etc. it makes it easier.

amother

Sage

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 8:38 pm

1. Are you available for those of us in your city to reach out for in person help or are you all booked up?

2. Is there any hope when the kids are big already (I e. Cannot literally supervise every activity/cleanup) and did not succeed in establishing good habits when younger? Like cleaning up after themselves, closing containers after removing food, etc