10 year old is often sad

amother

Sat, Jan 27 2024, 8:06 pm

how do I help him? I give him as much love as I can. hugs often. talk to him. listen to his stories and imagination. he's very smart and also super sensitive. he tells me he often feels like crying. he cried because he read a book that didn't have a happy ending.
what can I do for him? how can I help him regulate and be happy?

amother

Black

Sat, Jan 27 2024, 8:09 pm

There's a difference between being sad and being sensitive, and from your post it's not clear which.

Reading about HSP's might help.

amother

Sat, Jan 27 2024, 8:17 pm

my post is about his sadness. what makes a 10 year old sad? he told me he sometimes cries because he wants mashiach to come already. that's beautiful but doesn't seem "normal" for his age. he's very deep and has an endless need for love and time and attention which I do my best to give him but it's still not enough.
he doesn't really know why he's sad. he says random, unspecific stuff. it seems to be a theme with him over the past couple years that I'm picking up on now.

amother

Black

Sat, Jan 27 2024, 8:32 pm

I agree, that doesn't seem normal.

Is your marriage healthy? Or any other possible source of tension or stress at home? Or maybe bullying in school? Does he have friends?

amother

Sun, Jan 28 2024, 9:32 am

we have a strong marriage. a home based on learning and saying tehillim. we say brachos out loud. we make him a shabbos siyum every time he finishes learning something. idk what more we can do in that area.
dh family and mine have depression in the genes but never at such a young age. he's very very deep and too smart for his age. he tells me kids laugh at him because he davens shmone eisrei for too long. he has general friends in school, he's socially anxious with neigbors.
I'm in the middle of working with another child on adhd. I feel overwhelmed working with him to figure out what more I can do for him. I need guidance.

amother

Poppy

Sun, Jan 28 2024, 10:42 am

amother OP wrote:

He needs less intensity, not more.
Sounds like a lot of anxiety/ocd underlying. The depression may actually be intrusive thoughts

amother

Ghostwhite

Sun, Jan 28 2024, 10:50 am

amother Poppy wrote:

He needs less intensity, not more.
Sounds like a lot of anxiety/ocd underlying. The depression may actually be intrusive thoughts

I agree

I’ve never heard someone describe their home being based on tehillim. It sounds like maybe he needs a break and a way to relax, not always be so “deep” with learning.

amother

Black

Sun, Jan 28 2024, 1:31 pm

Agree with the above. I would try to focus on giving him opportunities for building friendships and having healthy social interactions, doing fun activities with friends.

TR91

Sun, Jan 28 2024, 2:17 pm

amother OP wrote:

Might it help balance things to make the general home atmosphere happier and lighter? More music, more laughter, more games, more silly times, more fun, more excitement, more physical movement?

amother

Sun, Jan 28 2024, 2:43 pm

I wasnt clear. our home is round the clock music, thanks to a toddler whom 10yr old adores. we dance and act silly. my kids are on the loop hotline a lot, where there's plenty of easy and fun entertainment. my husband makes plays for them sometimes. we read books. we play kichels. I have lots of crafts and I allow baking often.
dh learns
with said 10 yr old. since the war I say a lot of tehillim, mainly shabbos but even before I try to say the day of the month. I really dont feel an intense atmosphere. he plays kugelach and chess with his siblings. he loves riddles and doing all extra credit for school which dh helps him with. I don't feel an active reason for being sad.
am I deluding myself?

maybe he misses summer where he gets a lot of sun and sports. he loves that. but is it normal for a 10 year old to feel sad and not know why? I think it's time for a welll-visit.

amother

Catmint

Sun, Jan 28 2024, 3:04 pm

My dh was actually diagnosed with depression around 9/10 years old. It could be linked to his anxiety.
My dh still struggles with chronic depression.