7 year old dd misses her paci

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)

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amother

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 10:08 pm

My dd tells me often at night that she misses her paci. It really calmed her down and regulated her. it's been years since she had it mind you. She has ADHD and SPD.

Is there anything else I can give her to help her that's more apropriate?

hodeez

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 10:09 pm

A book, teddy, night light, blanket.. anything but a paci

amother

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 10:20 pm

hodeez wrote:

A book, teddy, night light, blanket.. anything but a paci

She has all the others. I wish there was something else that could help that sensory need I guess she still has.

mushkamothers

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 10:31 pm

Chew necklace or other teething toy

amother

Cornsilk

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 10:37 pm

Hm I’m not positive that a paci is the worst thing?

I’m also curious because she may miss it in theory but if she tries it again usually once they get out of it they don’t want it back.

Then again some of my siblings had a paci till 8 years old with no ill effects that I can tell so I have that biased view.

tweety1

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 10:46 pm

amother Cornsilk wrote:

I'm with you all the way. The only time I took away a pacifier was when a speech therapist threatened me to cut services if I don't. She was positive the pacifier is interfering. I didn't agree with her but I had no choice. Otherwise I never ever took it away. The kids all eventually give it up when they're ready. Some sooner some later. Nobody gets married with it.

amother

Maple

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 10:57 pm

My almost 7 year old son still has his paci. He NEEDS it. Its calming for him. He is super sensory and has ADHD. It definitely affected his speech but I need to prioritize his mental health over his speech.

amother

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 10:57 pm

tweety1 wrote:

Right, her speech therapist convinced me to get rid of it, she was close to 4. You would really give it back to an almost 8 year old?

amother

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 10:58 pm

amother Maple wrote:

I think we have a shidduch! LOL

Tzutzie

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 11:13 pm

My 10 yo dd still has one. Everyone always warned me about how bad it is for the teeth. Well, I didn't have a paci or suck my thumb from the time I can remember myself. And I had teeth that needed braces BADLY.
I don't know if dh had a paci. But his teeth grew in perfectly!
So my 10 yo who still sleeps with a paci, just like he father, her adult teeth grew in PERFECTLY. Same with my second, she's 8. She takes her thumb and her teeth grew in perfectly too bh.
My 3rd is almost 5, just yesterday his dentist showed me on the exray that his adult teeth will likely come in crooked....
And the most ironic part is that this kid doesn't take a paci or finger ever. Barely any bottles either.....
Bh their speech doesn't seem to be effected at all.

Last edited by Tzutzie on Wed, Jan 31 2024, 8:41 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Begonia

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 11:23 pm

My 7 year old still sleeps with a pacifier. It stays in bed and for all I care she can keep it till she's 90 LOL

She sleeps well with it and noone has to know

tweety1

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 11:30 pm

amother OP wrote:

Right, her speech therapist convinced me to get rid of it, she was close to 4. You would really give it back to an almost 8 year old?

I wouldn’t technically give it back but if the kid finds it I wouldn’t take it away. If she's taking it at that age then she needs it.
Eta: one of my kids gave it up closer to 13! It bothered me but too bad. Ironically this kid doesn't even need braces.

amother

Canary

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 1:16 am

I let my kid have it as long as her wanted. Sometime last summer at 8 years old, he just stopped.

My 5 year old still has it.

amother

Chocolate

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 1:59 am

I would look into a chewy stick or some other type of chewy. You can get them in bracelets and necklaces as well. It would provide oral stimulation, which she might be craving. Also letting her bite hard foods also will give a similar sensation.
Amazon have all different ones. If she's getting OT, you can ask them for advice.
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=che.....ss_tl

amother

Gray

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 2:06 am

MY 6 year old still has it and his permanent teeth are growing in so crazy!! So that's not just norishkeit the dentists and orthodontists tell you. But I will say his older sister had hers until 8 and her teeth did look nuts for a while, but then they straightened out and now she has a great smile, no need for braces, B"H.

amother

Floralwhite

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 2:46 am

When my dd was around 4.5 her bottom teeth started hurting her so we both decided together it's time to get rid of her paci. Turns out they were getting loose and ready to fall out, but we didn't know that at the time. She was nervous, I told her I'll help her, and I basically replaced her paci. Now she's 8 and still wants to sit with me and hug me to calm down instead of having a paci. Sometimes it's sweet and seems normal and sometimes it's difficult and seems like too much. I actually hid it in my room all these years and she wants to save it for her baby. We'll see how well it lasts.

When dd was about 6 she fell and bashed up her mouth a bit. I remembered a friend of mine's kid did that and the dentist said to have him use his paci to make sure the teeth stay in their positions, so I took out dd's paci to try to make sure her teeth would be fine. She was so excited but it was so strange for her and not at all comforting or comfortable to suck it. So OP, I think the memory is sweeter than the real thing. I'm not sure you should give it to your dd either way, but if you do she just might find that it's not so helpful anymore.

LovesHashem

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 5:16 am

There's tons of other sensory options. I wouldn't give a paci back since it's bad for the teeth.

amother

Seashell

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 6:42 am

Try a weighted blanket or chewy. I would gethim ot and address the root of the issue. Have an ot that specialized in reflexes. Babkin reflex and oral facial exercises should help. And lots of sensory regulation

amother

Chartreuse

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 7:22 am

If it was something she really needed, she'd probably have started sucking her thumb before this. I think she might miss the memory of it more than she would enjoy having it back.

amother

Apricot

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 7:59 am

I’m going the unpopular opinion. Give back the paci
Tie it to a shoe lace and tie the lace to her bedpost. That’s the paci station.

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