S/O talking to kids (clarified question pg 2)

amother

Daffodil

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 7:35 pm

amother Junglegreen wrote:

I agree that lying is never a good idea but seriously it is not necessary for a young child to know certain things about intimacy and childbirth... It's ok to tell your child that some things are for when your older to understand.. let them be children!!!

Agreed.

amother

Fri, Feb 09 2024, 8:54 am

Let me clarify my question a bit more. I'm not asking about whether some things shouldn't be told to young children. I'm specifically asking about the detail of how and where the baby comes out from. I'm not asking if you feel this should or shouldn't be told to kids.

I'm asking the following: What exactly is private/mature/inappropriate about this one specific thing?

Some possibilities:
A. The location of the hole is in a private area
B. The knowledge might scare children
C. The children might announce the info at inappropriate times
D. The hole is also used for more mature topics, so it shouldn't be mentioned at a young age
E. The children will extrapolate that if this hole is the only exit, it must be the only entrance and figure out how relations work

Some problems I have with these:
A. So are the holes which are used for the bathroom, but the children know about those, do you see that as not preferable yet necessary?
B. I don't think most children would get scared from this being presented in the right way
C. Why is this any more "inappropriate" than bathroom words which can also be announced at inappropriate times?
D. Ok, but it doesn't need to be connected yet, so I still don't understand
E. Maybe a very intelligent child? But is this really what people are concerned about?

It's not really an answer to say because other mothers care you don't want your child telling their children because I want to know WHY they care, that is my question.

amother

Puce

Fri, Feb 09 2024, 10:20 am

amother OP wrote:

By this logic please explain why something you deem inappropriate to discuss with young children is inappropriate.

amother

Mon, Feb 19 2024, 4:44 pm

amother Puce wrote:

By this logic please explain why something you deem inappropriate to discuss with young children is inappropriate.

This is a very good question...

Not 100% sure, but I think mostly because I personally find it awkward/embarrassing to talk about in public. So that I understand intuitively, but about giving birth I don't.
Also because I think the other facts are more likely to be anxiety inducing so I understand waiting to be specific till they need to know, I just don't see what's anxiety inducing about where the baby comes out.

amother

Springgreen

Mon, Feb 19 2024, 6:00 pm

I think giving children the right amount of information at the right stage is important. It's important to understand what your child already knows, and how much information they need to be satisfied.
Some children would be fine with the baby comes out of a special place when it's ready to come out. No need to specify exactly what or where this place is. Other children will continue questioning and demanding more specific answers.
Most frum people are reluctant to talk too much about sx and related topics. Having babies, suggests that sx is happening and may not want to talk too much about the details.
I personally think it's about being careful not to overwhelm children with too many explicit details of how things work. We start slowly, and build up children's knowledge over time.