What grade is normal for a sleepover?

amother

Carnation

Fri, Mar 08 2024, 12:01 am

amother Hyacinth wrote:

And....? I still don't get the shock and horror

So I guess your the type of mom that would give out drugs without asking the parents first, too.

Shame on you.

amother

Anemone

Fri, Mar 08 2024, 12:03 am

ftm1234 wrote:

I don't think you'd think sleepovers are safe if you heard about all the horrible things that can happen.

I've heard of molestat!on, r@pe and even girls touching each other.

No, sleepovers are NOT safe!

Hmmm. I wonder how I survived a whole childhood of frequent sleepovers.

These blanket statements are simply untrue. Precautions need to be taken. I wouldn't send my kid to a family I don't know fairly well. But why are we acting like predators are in every frum home? This is disturbed thinking in my opinion.

ftm1234

Fri, Mar 08 2024, 12:08 am

amother Anemone wrote:

Most sexu@l assaults are committed by family members, actually...

And not allowing sleepovers, in my opinion, is not equal to believing that there are predators in every home.

What precautions exactly do you suggest? Because apparently knowing the family well isn't helping things.

amother

Anemone

Fri, Mar 08 2024, 12:12 am

ftm1234 wrote:

So according to that statistic my kid is safer at anyone else's home than our own?

ftm1234

Fri, Mar 08 2024, 12:15 am

amother Anemone wrote:

So according to that statistic my kid is safer at anyone else's home than our own?

No. Family members meaning uncles, cousins etc

Sexu@l assaults by a sibling, and even more so by a parent, are extremely rare.

lilytee

Fri, Mar 08 2024, 12:50 am

My parents did not allow sleepovers. Never. End of sentence.

I never understood it and resented it sometimes.

Now as a Mom, I get it and will not allow my kids to sleep over either.

amother

Brickred

Fri, Mar 08 2024, 12:51 am

ftm1234 wrote:

No. Family members meaning uncles, cousins etc

Sexu@l assaults by a sibling, and even more so by a parent, are extremely rare.

Sleepovers, in the context of this post, isn’t to aunt or uncles or cousins house. It’s to a friends house.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Fri, Mar 08 2024, 1:24 am

amother Hosta wrote:

I let my daughter in 4th grade but I am picky where she goes. She went to someone once who gave her melatonin without permission. I was very very upset. I was in touch with the parents the whole time and they never told me. My daughter told me they gave her sleeping pills .... She had never had one before.

More shocking to me was that both parents are in the medical field and thought nothing of it.

I let her go after she begged me for months.

Bh she has gone other places since then but I am super careful....my other kids aren't interested.

NOT OK, this shocks me to my core. How dare they?? What if she had an allergic reaction? Side effects include depression, anxiety, cramps, irritability. You could have sued them. As medical professionals they should have known better.
At the very least, they should have called you to ask if its ok. And to call them sleeping pills as if thats a normal thing is also not ok. Even Vitamin C pills they shouldnt give unless you permit.

It scares me that people want instant answers to problems and think pills will do it.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Fri, Mar 08 2024, 1:26 am

amother Anemone wrote:

Exactly and I always told my kids they can call me if they want to come home at any time. Even 2 am etc. One did but her reason was that the house is so dirty, when I got there, I saw it too. She was afraid of mice, ants, spiders and cockroaches because of the filth. She thanked me for the option to come home at any time.

shabbatiscoming

Fri, Mar 08 2024, 1:37 am

From about age 6 we allowed.
I have some wonderful memories of sleep overs at friends.
I never understand the hysteria around this.
Yes, bad things could hapoen, but they bh do not usually.
Get to know the families of your children's friends. Obviously thats not a given. But to take this away from children, in my OPINION, is very sad.