Purim when sad | Imamother

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Purim

Purim when sad

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amother

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 8:53 am

This year I'm feeling very down, for a specific reason, something difficult happened very recently. I was meant to host the seuda, I had a whole plan and menu, but I had to cancel it all because of "the reason".

My kids are disappointed that we're not hosting. Even my husband is saying morose things about Purim, that it won't be nice this year, almost as if it's my fault that I can't just put myself back together again quick enough.

It will be the first time we are alone for the seuda, because I can't invite and we're unlikely to be invited. I'm sad because I usually love Purim and I feel I'm letting everyone down by not being able to just be happy and move on. I'm sad that they'll probably always remember this year and not for good reasons.

Any ideas how I can make it special and stop my husband and kids from feeling so let down?

amother

Jade

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 10:01 am

Who were you meant to host? Can't you go to them instead?

amother

Chestnut

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 10:16 am

I'm trying to get over yet another miscarriage and I know I have my ups and downs. I'm likely to be sad on purim, or any other day for that matter. It's emotionally gut wrenching and I'm finding myself wanting to cry at random times.
I'm still hosting our family purim seuda. The agreement with siblings is that if I'm hosting, I'm not responsible for much of the food, so much less falls on me. None of them know what I've been going through, which is the way I want it.
If you can't host others, try and make it fun for your family-maybe can they drop into someone else's seuda for a bit? Or put some purim music and make up some silly games to play.
I'm trying to focus on purim being a day of tefillah and that I should daven for things to change.

amother

Maroon

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 12:25 am

Can you buy all or part of the food for the meal instead of making yourself?
Maybe your dh and kids can put together a menu and order or they can make it.
This will make it less pressure for you, help you feel connected as a family (everyone shares the responsibility of making purim happy).

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