Moving to Lakewood - what to know

amother

Stone

Sun, Mar 10 2024, 8:36 pm

Can I recommend you try getting a job in a school office? Preferably a girl school. The environment there seems more social, you work a lot with people and get to know them.

Dd works in a school and has a whole social life from there. She doesn’t teach, but works in the office and subs when needed. Schools are desperate for teachers, and office staff, so you might have your pick of the place. Won’t make as much money but it sounds like you could use that kind of work environment over a professional office. You can even apply now for after Pesach, off people are on maternity leave, or Kallahs who got married and are leaving…you never know.

You can check out bp graphics online ads for job openings for after Pesach

amother

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 10:14 am

amother Stone wrote:

A school office does sound very good, thank you!
I'm curious if you'd know the difference in pay on average? I agree that the work environment is more important for me right now.

amother

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 10:14 am

amother Brickred wrote:

I’m in the uk so no help but wanted to say Mazal tov and I hope the move goes easily!
Come back here and share the differences of the two places if you can be bothered- would love to hear!

Thank you!
If I remember would be very happy to! But I'm guessing that'll take some time till I really live there for a while

amother

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 10:17 am

amother Oak wrote:

Welcome!
I married someone from the uk and now we live in Lakewood. I’m originally from Lakewood. What kind of community are you a part of, which area of Lakewood would you live in?
One thing that English women do differently than Lakewood is the working situation. My English sister in laws don’t work much, and do much more socializing when they shop, by the park, etc. in Lakewood, most of your social life will be at work- so choose a job accordingly!
Also- get ready for the culture shock 😜

Yes because of the benefit system here it's more worthwhile for people to work part time and get government benefits than work full time. And the pay here isn't too great.
I think the school office job mentioned by another poster is a good idea I will work on that.

amother

Blueberry

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 10:19 am

amother OP wrote:

Thanks for the names. I currently know absolutely nothing so this is really helpful!

I still think that living in a building that is entirely yeshiva families is better for a social life. You see people as you come in and go out. Living in a development with young couples nearby is good once you have kids and you are outside with your kids together. Otherwise in the beginning you really won’t see anyone.
Some people do Not like living in the apartments because they need more privacy but personally that would be better for me because I’m a little shy and having people right there is helpful. You have privacy once you lock your door… (I’m past that stage but that’s what I would do if I were doing things over again)

amother

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 11:13 am

amother Blueberry wrote:

I hear you. I'd love my privacy but do think making friends is more worthwhile. Question is if I'd make friends with neighbours, would it last once I move?

mamaleh

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 12:13 pm

amother OP wrote:

I hear you. I'd love my privacy but do think making friends is more worthwhile. Question is if I'd make friends with neighbours, would it last once I move?

I am still friends with many of those first neighbors (from an apartment building close to 30 years ago).

amother

Blueberry

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 12:56 pm

You might not stay friends with with someone who got married 5 years before you and already has 3 kids but there’s a strong possibility you could hold on to the friendships of people who also recently got married. You’ll be living very similar lifestyles to most of your neighbors in the building. IyH you’ll have kids and they’ll have kids and since you’ll be going through similar things at around the same time you’ll feel connected. No one will be marching in to your house when the door is closed so you’ll still have your privacy.
Often the basement apartments in Lakewood are really nice, modern and large but you really won’t meet people. Your upstairs neighbor might be nice to you but she’ll be busy with her 7 kids and at a very different stage. I think it’s important to be around people in the same stage of life you’re in now.

amother

Ruby

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 1:06 pm

amother OP wrote:

I hear you. I'd love my privacy but do think making friends is more worthwhile. The question is if I'd make friends with neighbors, would it last once I move?

I agree with you. I moved to Lakewood from a different city. I live in a building. Very happy that we live here. Much easier to get to know people

amother

Mintgreen

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 1:18 pm

amother OP wrote:

Anything that would help me!
Yes I'm from the UK..

Things are very different in Lakewood.

Here are some very random examples off the top of my head:

-wages are higher but so are expenses. Get ready for real sticker shocks especially in food
-most women work
-kids are off 10 weeks in the summer but don’t have very long winter breaks at all. No half terms or bank holidays. No off for national holidays, even x-mas. Yes to school bussing so no rotas Smile

school starts at 5 years not 4. It’s very expensive too unlike free school fees in the UK.
-health insurance is expensive but the care is 10000 times better
-there can be lots of pressure to fit in and dress a certain way
-maternity leave is only 6 weeks it’s really tough
-driving is very different but much easier (no paying for parking, plenty of spaces, no tickets from cameras in NJ for the most part). You’ll need to get your American license. If you hustle in London you’ll have an easy time hustling in Lakewood but the trait in Lakewood is a growing nightmare.
-you’ll also need to get a spouse visa and you can’t leave the country for 18m
-target and Trader Joe’s are stores like no other. Be careful they are dangerous Wink

keym

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 1:27 pm

Im kinda gonna disagree.
I don't think the apartment is as important for making friends as much as the workplace.

Personally my newlywed friends came from the other single and newly married women at my 9-5 job.
Daycares, some offices, girls school secretaries, doctors offices. They have multiple women working together, they became my friends that I still keep up with.

I found apartment living equally lonely as living in a basement until I became more aggressive at making friends.
We were both from OOT so we were home every single Shabbos, shavuos, Rosh Hashanah, Shabbos Chanuka, etc. Those were the times when having neighbors my age would have been the most useful, and they were mostly not there because they would go to their east coast family mostly.

We mostly worked 9-4/5 during the week. And from 5-7:30(when our husbands came home from yeshiva was when we were doing our laundry, shopping, cooking, etc.)

Maybe that was just my experience.

And basements have benefits that apartment buildings don't have- newer appliances, washer dryer in the house, other stuff like that

amother

Trillium

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 1:44 pm

amother Mintgreen wrote:

I agree with this except for maternity leave. New Jersey provides 12 weeks of paid leave after giving birth. Not every employer will happily allow you to take it but it is an option for most jobs I think.

care4u

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 1:55 pm

amother Trillium wrote:

More so in big offices than schools, btw.