What’s the typical amount to tip elementary rebbi on Purim?

amother

Mustard

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 8:16 pm

OOT morah married to rebbi here --

I don't think this is typical oot. We have lived in two different out of town communities. In one, my students used to deliver beautiful mishloach manos (not expensive packages -a cake, sparkling grape juice, small homemade candy/fruit/veggie platter - just something to acknowledge the teacher). Sometimes it would come with a gift like a cookbook, often it would come with a thank you from a parent or the student or even both! In our current community students usually give whatever their family mishloach manos is to their teacher/rebbe/morah. A rebbe might also get a bottle of wine with it. There is one wealthy parent who always gives my husband a nice tip when he teaches their boys, and it really helps with pesach.

As a teacher, would I appreciate the extra cash? Sure - it would be so helpful for pesach expenses! Chanukah and end of year often go unacknowledged as well or with parents contributing to the school Chanukah gift which is usually a small gift and a $50 gift card per teacher. I've taught various grades and usually the end of the year is only acknowledged on the years that I've done a performance with flowers and a gift card that parents contributed $5-10 to. In the other community Chanukah was usually a $200 gift card from parents and the school gave a pesach bonus (not from parents).

But it's not about the cash. As I read these posts about families bending over backwards to give their kids' mechanchim $18, posts from mothers who so value the chinuch of their children that they express it at various opportunities in the year, it was heartwarming! And I know none of you live in my community and I don't teach your kids, but it's so nice to hear that there are parents out there who put in effort to let their kids' teachers know that they are appreciated.

Honestly, I miss the notes the most! I have a box from all of my years of teaching with all of the notes I've received from students and parents. I don't keep them to remind myself I'm a good morah (I do my best!!), I keep them so that one day my kids will have them and see that the times I had to make sacrifices for my family and the times that they had to put up with a missing mommy during production time, or shabbaton season etc it was worth it. So for anyone reading this long post, if you can take the time to write a letter to your child's teacher/rebbe/morah I'm sure it will mean the world to them as well.

amother

Hyacinth

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 8:44 pm

Wow, this thread is very intriguing for me to read.
I have never heard of tipping a Rebbi/teacher/morah in addition to giving Mishloach Manos.
I'm a Morah for a number if years in Brooklyn.
Kol hakavod to all of you, you sound so eager to show Hakaras Hatov to your children's teachers.
I hope, though, that it doesn't mean the teachers come to expect these gifts as standard and think someone is doing something wrong if they don't give.

amother

Dill

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 9:02 pm

Voice of dissent...
We go thru this here every chanuka, and now it's Purim too?!?

I teach in an 'in town' boys elementary. I've been there for 15+ years and am very requested. Dh is a rebbi, in a more kiruv type of yesivha.

Not everyone gives tips/monetary gifts. At all. Certainly not 2-3 times a year. There are plenty of boys in our classes that don't. Plenty of special circumstance/very difficult boys. Plenty. Every year. I would say half to less than half of boys give either chanuka or Purim time. Those parents who are grateful, trust me, it comes across without a monetary gift.

(Most students do give a mishloach manos, these days. That wasn't the case when I started teaching here. Mostly its very simple (think chocolates and grape juice) or it's themed to what their family is doing.)

amother

Hydrangea

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 11:34 pm

imaphotographer wrote:

I asked my relative who is a rebbe in a yeshivish yeshiva in Lakewood and he said he usually gets between 36 and 100. So I think it really depends on the school and clientele

It definitely does vary by school - for example, in Lakewood, my sons yeshiva (middle of the road, not super yeshivish but not with it either) average is 75-150 or so.
My sister sends to a “fancier” yeshiva and she gives 200-250 and said that’s average there

Main thing is to show appreciation and give whatever you’re able to Smile

it’s hakaras hatov.

amother

Chocolate

Wed, Mar 06 2024, 5:38 pm

amother Mintgreen wrote:

It varies so much on so many factors. The best thing is to show the appreciation - giving $54 to the school mishloach manos, so that they can add your name to a list of upto 700 families who have donated to the ~~school~~ mishloach manos / gift, does not compare to a personalized note sent to the teacher/Rebbee. Give what you can afford, and may Hashem repay you 1000 fold.

I didn't know that any Lakewood schools did group MM.
Curious which.

amother

Topaz

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 8:49 am

amother Honey wrote:

I think everyone will agree that there is no “typical” amount.
I give about $150 to rabbeim and $50 to English teachers. I sometimes give more/less depending on the teacher and how much effort they put into my child.

what's your income?also , whoever writes these numbers and higher, please specify your income and how many kids you have. Not to bash or comment, just curious.

I don't think I need to tip morah on Purim who charges $550, has no assistant,takes 15 kids and gets paid fully for sukkos pesach time. I make 40k a year, have 5 kids all in school, work on the books. My babysitter costs me around $800 and she also has around 20 kids with yes assistant. I make twice less than morah and much less than babysitter Smile

have a feeling that days when morahs charged $360 and had same amount of kids are way over. Morahs aren't the poorest people in Lakewood.

amother

Khaki

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 10:06 am

amother RosePink wrote:

Tashbar/ Orchos chaim type.

I am a parent at one of these schools for many many years. I give $100 for Chanuka and $100 for Purim (used to be $50 each time back in the earlier days). This is a big stretch for us according to our means. We don’t live a high lifestyle, drive fancy cars, wear designer clothes, vacations etc.

I am a firm believer that Rebbi gifting is according to each ones individual ability and lifestyle. I know there are boys in the class who are giving $250++ and they absolutely should, if they could, and if they live a lifestyle to match.

There should be zero pressure on any parent to give more than they can afford. But please DONT live a high end lifestyle and then scrimp when it comes to the Rebbi.

amother

Topaz

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 12:59 pm

amother Hotpink wrote:

My son is in second grade, Lakewood. Rebbi $150-$200. Morah $100. Plus mishloach manos and nice few words.
I don't have extra money but it's just something that is important. I was a playgroup teacher I got no tips and I was considered top morah. Was really hurtful. Any amount counts really, as long as you show appreciation.

it is so imposing on parents! If only people realized straybess they cause with their expectations on parents, including shaloo m bais friction between husbands and wives. Everyone talks about themselves basically, I try to be a nice person, but I can't lose sanity to make someone feel good, too. If you only knew how this offense on side of teachers ruins Purim!I really want everyone to be happy and don't intend to hurt mora,and I dislike It so much when morahs get offended. Who cares I pay arm and leg for playgroup. ?pre purim becomes hell. But yeah,it's important to consider morah. Please dan le kaf Zchus and consider parents,too! Life is hectic and crazy for some people. You never know what happened in that family who didn't tip you. If I didn't tip or come, might be reason. Don't turn giving you hakaras hatov into other people's burden, please. It makes Purim very draining.

My screen broken, sorry for grammar.

amother

Tan

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 1:11 pm

amother Hotpink wrote:

wow I was a playgroup morah for about 20 years. never got a tip from any parent for Purim. Never knew it was a thing. Wouldnt dream of feeling hurt over it, just like I wouldn't feel hurt at chanukah or end of year if people didn't give gifts. my attitude is, wow, a gift, thanks so much! some people are in a position to give and some are not.

amother

Topaz

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 1:22 pm

amother Hotpink wrote:

not to sound dramatic I will make sure to tip morah too. I don't like when ppl get upset. But sometimes can't give everyone. ...

amother

Offwhite

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 2:32 pm

amother Chocolate wrote:

Ill be honest.
Your numbers shock me.
I give $36-$72 per Rebbi depending on the year.
That's a stretch for me financially because that equals hundreds of dollars for all the Rebbeim.
I knew that there were a few more comfortable per class who gave significantly more.
But I really don't think that my wine, wafer rolls, $36 check and nice note was so much less than everyone else.

Are you Chassidishe, Litvish?
Which schools do you send to (or are similar to you for privacy).
I send to quite yeshivish schools.

We pay full school fees , although the rebbeim wouldn't know who does and who doesn't. Maybe the ones who aren't paying in full , feel they should give more once a year? Or they just can afford to give a lot. Here in the UK I don't know what's normal but we're struggling this year as have very high tuition and yeshiva to pay for so we're not giving a lot at all.

amother

Pear

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 5:22 pm

amother Bellflower wrote:

I'm giving an $18 check (to rebbeim and morahs).
Pathetic, I know. But I can't afford more.
I stretched myself to give $36 for chanukah and I can't do another round of that again.

And before anyone jumps on me that I should prioritize, just realize my wigs are 10 years old. There is so little hair left on it you can see through to the cap. My car is an old 2008. Clothing for my kids is all hand me downs. My weekly grocery list is bare bones minimum. There is nothing else for me to cut out of my budget

And regarding pesach expenses, unlike the rebbeim I won't be getting chasdei lev, gift cards or a cash bonus. In fact, dh and I are both not paid for vacation time so the month of pesach means about 70% of the salary because of the week+ with no work, along with the huge Tom tov expenses

I hope you have some organizations locally that can help with yom tov needs. Also, if you're interested in a new wig I might know someone who can help you. There are also lovely sheitel gemachs.

amother

Pear

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 5:25 pm

amother Hotpink wrote:

.

As a fellow Morah, I always give the Morahs!!! They work hard and many times they need it just as much. I've done a variety of things, one year at the end of the year I brought bagels and spreads for the whole staff (was a daycare) and they loved it. I always say, it's the thought that counts whether it's $5 with a note or $100 with a note.