How bad is it not to tip?

amother

Canary

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 7:56 pm

amother Clear wrote:

I have a weird situation but my playgroup kid has a morah that has given my kid as well as myself a lot of grief. For various reasons I couldn’t switch morahs, but every day I send her, I feel guilty (never a safety issue). I’m giving the morah $18 with the mm, but no note. I legit have nothing nice I’d be able to come up with, but she will be my child’s morah for the next few months and I do need her to get something… bh I can afford a much nicer tip but on principal can’t bring myself to give more. My other playgroup child’s morah is getting a nice tip, a nice gift and a mm.

So sorry.
Totally understandable but that's why people feel obligated to tip and write a card!
Because now if morah doesn't get anything, she can assume she's not doing a good job or she's not appreciated....
That's the problem when things like that (tips!) becomes the norm.

amother

Teal

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 8:21 pm

My DH is unemployed. No teachers know but we can't afford basics. Like after rent, health insurance, and other absolute needs we don't have anything left to my paycheck.

So our MM is super simple. Think plastic goody bag with potato chips and a drink. We can't do more and really shouldn't even do that.
So if you or your husband get that- please know what kind of expense that was for us. How much we doubted if we should this year. We appreciate the teachers and Rebbeim so much but we just can't do more. I did buy cards at the dollar store so will try to write a note but I am not sure how personal I can get. I am exhausted trying to keep life together and work overtime now...

So please don't judge our MM. The fact we are giving anything shows how much we appreciate you.

amother

RosePink

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 8:27 pm

amother Teal wrote:

PLEASE DONT FEEL BAD. NO ONE wants a fancy wine or chocolate that comes at the expense of a child going hungry or even being told no to something they want because their parent spent too much on Mishloach Manos. I am a teacher for many many years. Its a job like any other!!!! No one forced any one to be a teacher. Do I wish my salary was more , sure I do but parents are not required to make up for the low pay by giving tips and even more so when they cant afford it. WE NEED TO STOP THIS !!!! Its not fair. Im speaking from both sides of the coin.

amother

Copper

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 8:35 pm

As a teacher what I enjoy the most is seeing the cute kids in their costume on purim and giving them mm, dont care what I get.
I understand purim is a hectic day and lots of ppl give before/after whatever is given is appreciated and I enjoy the personal notes. I honestly dont care what type of mm I get or if theres a tip. Im not expecting money.

As a parent who just finished my kids mm im exhausted. My kids are very little (under four) for chanuka I had them color a paper with stickers and gave it with a personal note, chocolate and tip. For purim im giving everyone my regular mm, a personal note, and for the main teacher a small tip.
It took a lot of time writing the notes so I totally understand parents who dont write a note especially with a few kids. Right now I have zero expectations of what im getting.