Ur HONEST answer to ‘how was yuntif’

amother

Canary

Thu, May 02 2024, 11:06 am

yom tov was nice.. we traveled to spend time with family.

but if im being all the way honest it was also emotionally hard at my parents bec I have guilt from not being there enough (they are very clear about that)
and I am a huge people pleaser and they kept asking me to extend me stay.

also the older I get and the longer im married (and exposed to my normal, healthy inlaws) the more I see the dysfunction in my own family and it hurts. I had a happy childhood bh but looking back I realize how much of it was totally not normal and how much toxic dynamics are there.

newinbp

Thu, May 02 2024, 12:53 pm

amother Magenta wrote:

It was great!

My mil worked so hard and prepared the most amazing meals, and didn't ask me to do a thing even though I offered!

I am in early pregnancy and while the first days were okay in terms of how I was feeling, the 2nd days I started feeling not so good and I just couldn't wait to get out of there and into my own bed and shower.

Also, my husband is doing some healing work, and he didn't do so well without his familiar routine.

Otherwise, such a nice Chag.

I am so impressed with your respectful wording regarding your husband, wow! Especially being pregnant and perhaps hormonal, wow!

amother

Rainbow

Thu, May 02 2024, 12:58 pm

Yom tov was so beautiful Baruch Hashem
The many mil threads before yom tov gave me a lot of perspective and I tried my best to be a better dil and to also not take my mil so personally

Second days with my siblings was so fun. It's so nice to finally get to see them and their children who I rarely see

amother

Tomato

Thu, May 02 2024, 2:28 pm

amother OP wrote:

Once chag ends obviously the first thing everyone asks is ‘how was yuntif’? Is it just me or do we answer that question 10x a day for like a week? To people we’re close with and people we aren’t? Anyway I was thinking how funny it would be if people actually answered honestly and openly lol, no matter who asked. How many awkward moments would that create! I could just imagine the responses. ‘Awful, my mil drove me crazy’ ‘irritating, my sister in law doesn’t know how to cook and no one ate’ ‘Terrible because my shalom bayis suffers when we’re all home together for so long’ ‘I hate the lack of structure’ etc. I’m actually really interested to hear truthful and uncensored answers. So let’s do it!!! My honest answer: BH it was actually really nice, grateful for the quality family time, but it was kind of annoying at times and I feel pretty burnt out and grateful it’s over! I like my normal life. I know I’m not allowed to say that irl so I’ll do it here Smile

your turn, whose next?

lol. I asked someone from the community who I saw in the store how her pesach was and yes she answered honestly. we got in to a long chat about it. we both agreed that it's possible to think it was nice and be very happy to get back to normal. why aren't you allowed to say that irl?

amother

Steelblue

Thu, May 02 2024, 2:32 pm

amother Tomato wrote:

You are.

amother

Carnation

Thu, May 02 2024, 2:44 pm

I went away for the entire yt, between both sides of the family. So I didn't need to do any cleaning, as we sold our home, but the packing was a lot of work, stressful when I realized I was missing something I needed, and just being away for so long in multiple locations was very hard. Going to sleep so late after the seder and getting up so early with our baby, long days with not much structure for the kids, it was definitely very exhausting and a lot of work. Especially second days because there wasn't much help then, it was just us and our hosts, no one to play with the kids or keep an eye on them while we took a short break, etc. I'm very grateful for the delicious meals and good company we got to spend time with, but I'm very glad to get back to routine, even a full day of work is easier than such long empty days.

Cheiny

Thu, May 02 2024, 3:54 pm

zaq wrote:

Dandelion, in Hebrew it's Yom Tov. In Yiddish it's spelled the same way but pronounced Yontif, just as חתונה is chatuNAH in ivrit but KHASeneh in Yiddish. Different languages.

And what's funnier is that in many cases where a Yiddish word derived from Hebrew returns to modern Hebrew, the spelling changes to reflect the Yiddish pronunciation. Example: Yiddish Tachlis, תכלית, from Hebrew Tachlit, came back to modern colloquial Hebrew as תכלס or תכליס when used in the Yiddish sense of "bottom line" "brass tacks" or "to make a long story short."

Those are not the same at all. There is no case in which yontiff is the proper way to say it. The words are Yom Tov. Not the same as how you pronounce a ת…

amother

Brass

Thu, May 02 2024, 8:54 pm

amother Dandelion wrote:

Pleeeease. Not yuntif.
It's yom tov.
Can't Believe It

Yessss…… I see I’m not the only one who’s extremely irked by this word.
And Zaq I disagree with you. I’m Yiddish speaking, and while speaking fast may make the word SOUND like yuntif, it’s not the way it’s spelled, or even officially referred to.

Git yom tov, git yom tov!

Petra

Thu, May 02 2024, 9:01 pm

I dont love Pesach but I enjoyed it this year anyway, like most years, BH! I dont enjoy the prep and dont enjoy the flipping back when its over. I enjoyed no going out to work and was happy to stay home all Pesach and cook and spend time with family. Its a time when the whole family is together which is not the norm for the rest of the year and especially poignant this year.

I wish I could say I felt like I personally was leaving mitzrayim but that didn't happen.

I also thought about the hostages in Israel and the all families missing relatives.

Incredibly thankful for the time Hashem has granted me but very sad for others as well.

Chayalle

Thu, May 02 2024, 10:13 pm

It was a hectic YT season for me, as we celebrated a Simcha (my daughter's engagement) shortly before, and I was not as organized as I like to be. BH we made it! I think the best part is that my teen DD really showed these amazing bursts of maturity that I would not have believed! It was very gratifying to me to see that growth in her BH. She stepped up to the plate when I needed her help - baking, switching over, switching back, etc....
In a way YT was a break for me from the hectic pre-YT and the now hectic post YT. I shelved all wedding plans and enjoyed the YT! Now it's back to the grind....BH.

zaq

Fri, May 03 2024, 12:24 am

amother Brass wrote:

Fine. YOU say git Yomtov. I am a proud Litvak and WE say gut Yontif. This is how everyone from Lithuania says it, including my (sadly deceased now) Yiddish professor. Saying YomTov was always the mark of a non-native speaker who was reading the words phonetically, like a new American saying Wed-nes-day as it's written instead of Wensday.

I assume you're Chassidish and converse in Yiddish mainly if not exclusively with other Chassidim, who would naturally speak with an accent similar to yours. The spelling is as I said, identical to Hebrew: יום טוב.

amother

Currant

Fri, May 03 2024, 12:46 am

This thread makes me so sad. Am I the only one who was insanely depressed throughout? I wanted to love Pesach, I wanted to enjoy, but instead I was in the pits of despair. Hated myself for it but couldn’t snap out of it. May be childhood trauma but don’t know what specifically.

amother

Amethyst

Fri, May 03 2024, 1:07 am

Awful. Kids being overtired and not sleeping, fighting to get them down in someone else’s house, every meal out. The only good time was neilah hachag when we got rained in at my in-laws and my kids were miraculously angels after a full week of insanity and I got to participate in a full, real adult conversation.

amother

Strawberry

Fri, May 03 2024, 2:03 am

amother Honey wrote:

Yuntif was a brutal challenge. I love him tov in theory but I have a kid with special needs and he ruins everything. He is not bad, he is not malicious. He is special. And my life is a mess

I see I am not alone.
In theory I love y"t, but my special needs oldest ruins everything. Every time. Every time. Every time.
I feel bad but no matter how much I try, how much we hope, it happens every time. I worry that my other kids will grow up hating Shabbos and y"t because it is always so rough and never just beautiful, loving, happy, and calm.
And my life is a mess.
Can we be friends?

amother

Topaz

Fri, May 03 2024, 9:05 am

amother Brass wrote:

Yuntif is a form of Yiddish slang.