Lazy parenting | Imamother

amother

NeonOrange

Fri, May 10 2024, 2:42 pm

OP, please answer honestly. I won’t attack you. I’m just curious.

Do you:

1. Feed your babies purée jars or do baby led weaning with real foods and textures?

2. Send your babies or young toddlers to babysitters or keep them home with you?

3. Put your babies to sleep in a crib or on a Montessori floor bed?

4. Let your kids listen to song and story tapes or only read and sing with them yourself?

5. Occasionally feed your children freezer meals like pizza or fish sticks, or only cook fresh?

amother

Lilac

Fri, May 10 2024, 2:49 pm

amother NeonOrange wrote:

To add to this:

6. Do you buy ready made foods like pasta or condiments.... or make it from scratch?

7. Do you shecht & kosher your chickens, or buy packaged chicken?

8. Do you milk your own cow or get milk at the grocery store?

amother

Impatiens

Fri, May 10 2024, 5:51 pm

amother Broom wrote:

In all honesty op has a point. She is talking about toddlers. Plugging in the paci when the kid is crying replaces hugging, kissing, soothing words and the smile after that. It stunts emotional growth.

Nah, she doesn't. My kid used a Pacifier till the age of 5, when she woke up one day and decoded she doesn't need it. She got tons of hugs and kisses and soothing words, and smiles when she was sad/angry/upset, she still wanted the Pacifier together with those things. She is a very happy, well adjusted elementary school aged kids today.

amother

Hyacinth

Sat, May 11 2024, 2:37 pm

I though I would open this thread and read some vent about how we have allowed schools to take the full chinuch role instead of parents.
lol, OP should post how old her oldest is and how many children she has and how much experience she has with neurodivergent children.
Reminds me of my SIL that had a zillion opinions on pregnancy, birth and post partum... until she become pregnant.
She still has 20 zillion opinions regarding child development (She once told me that mothers are purposely looking to diagnose and therapize their kids because it makes them feel good) but I remind myself to remain patient and pray for her to never know.

amother

Khaki

Sat, May 11 2024, 3:41 pm

amother NeonOrange wrote:

I agree with OP, in Israel I see pacifiers in 6 year Olds. Even 2 years Olds don't need a paci 24/7. My neighbors think my kids are sooooo advanced because they talk so much more at a younger age, and I literally never seen their kids ages 2-4 without a paci.

1. Baby led weaning
2. Home with me until 9-13 months
3. Floor bed
4. I think song and story tapes have lots of benefits. We do both.
5. Very occasionally but, like once a month maybe.

amother

Wandflower

Sat, May 11 2024, 4:14 pm

Laziness is rarer than you think. Most people are just trying to cope. A post like this screams privilege - it's a G-d given gift that you never experienced overwhelm, or a challenging situation with your mental health, it's not your own doing. It's a gift that you could manage, but it's a crime that you're judging others in this way. Especially as those you're judging most likely have had much more to deal with then you could ever cope with.

amother

Hyacinth

Sat, May 11 2024, 4:23 pm

amother Wandflower wrote:

louder please for those in the back.

amother

Lime

Sat, May 11 2024, 9:22 pm

I guess im a lazy parent lol. I also use swings instead of holding them all day gasp. I send to babysitters 😱 I use premade baby food and disposable diapers.

amother

Marigold

Sat, May 11 2024, 10:25 pm

I’m lazy (not because I do these things but so much more) but really I’m just severely depressed. Be kind ❤️ everyone is trying their best (or in my case trying to get to the point where I can even try)

amother

Almond

Sat, May 11 2024, 10:27 pm

I think it's kind of lazy to judge other people's parenting. How about you get to know other people really well, understand where they're coming from, understand what they're struggling with, and from a place of empathic understanding come up with ideas to help them be the best they can be with the resources they have?

Or you can instead just turn your eye on yourself and see what you can improve in your parenting.

Being judgmental is the lazy way out.

amother

Steel

Sat, May 11 2024, 11:27 pm

amother Impatiens wrote:

But if you found that she had no emotional regulation skills besides the paci would you let her have it all day?

As a preschool Morah I've had kids who always have a paci at home and don't in school. Some were ok. Others really suffered.

amother

Maize

Sat, May 11 2024, 11:32 pm

amother OP wrote:

I believe that pacifiers and screens both have similar jobs. They are both excuses for parenting.

Baby crying? Plug baby's mouth with a pacifier. Ahhh. Quiet. Bliss.

Kids whining? Sit them in front of a screen. Ahhh. Quiet. Bliss.

And I'm ready for any tomatoes. But I think deep down, you know the truth. Pacifiers and screens are excuses for parenting.

Ok firstly, pacifiers have been proven to reduce the risk of SIDS. Google it.
Secondly, they’re god’s gift to parents.
You’ve probably never had a baby with unexplained colic. And if you did congratulations for allowing yourself to be an absolute martyr and become a human pacifier

amother

Maize

Sat, May 11 2024, 11:35 pm

amother OP wrote:

Pacifiers help my kids sleep=gives me peace
Using Screens for my kids occasionally gives me peace

Both equal a calmer, happier and well rested mom to care for said kids.
Which would you choose?

amother

Maize

Sat, May 11 2024, 11:37 pm

amother Broom wrote:

Ok so not true. My babies get plenty of hugs and kisses. They get their pacis at night in the crib
Sounds like your emotional growth was stunted though

amother

Lime

Sat, May 11 2024, 11:40 pm

amother Maize wrote:

Ok so not true. My babies get plenty of hugs and kisses. They get their pacis at night in the crib
Sounds like your emotional growth was stunted though