I think I need a job but I don’t really want one

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Forum -> Working Women

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mummiedearest

Mon, May 13 2024, 3:28 pm

There’s nothing wrong with not working if you can afford it. Your children and husband will still benefit from having you there. If you just want a social life, there are things you can do: post on this site to find out if anyone local is in the same situation, then plan to meet up regularly. Join a gym for a regular class and get to know others there. Frequent the library. Volunteer, even if not regularly. If you have a community-oriented shul, I’m sure you’ll find committees you can join. Find new SAHMs with young kids and help them adjust to their roles. Go to shul every Shabbos and make friends with the women there. Lots of ppl work from home now, you’d be surprised how many will make time to meet you for coffee, exercise with you, hang out evenings or motzei Shabbos. Contact local gemachs, see if you can help once in a while. These will give you the social outlet and still allow you your schedule.

amother

Buttercup

Mon, May 13 2024, 3:35 pm

What about being a sales lady? I keep seeing middle age women in stores and some look like they're having a great time interacting with the customers. It's social, it can be part time, it can be enjoyable and satisfying.

amother

Dimgray

Mon, May 13 2024, 3:37 pm

Im in a similar position and have been looking for volunteer work to have more social stimulation. You know what? Its really hard to find. Most volunteer work is not at an office or any kind of social situation.
Curious for ideas.

amother

Pumpkin

Mon, May 13 2024, 3:47 pm

I’m around your age and here to tell you that of course you can learn new things! 😄 I work full time and constantly have to learn new stuff, why can’t you?

What type of job did you have before becoming a sahm? What kinds of things do you enjoy doing?

mha3484

Mon, May 13 2024, 3:48 pm

amother Dimgray wrote:

I don't know where you live, my local bikkur cholim kitchen always needs volunteers and its supposed to be a really fun environment. My friends who head committees at our schools are desperate for volunteers especially the librarian. She is always looking for women who have free time during the day. I can think of other local orgs that need people.

amother

NeonOrange

Mon, May 13 2024, 3:59 pm

amother Papayawhip wrote:

no, these jobs are for quacks!

Throw tomatoes.

That’s not a very nice thing to say, but I’m pretty sure the poster who suggested it meant for the op to do those things as a participant.

amother

Khaki

Mon, May 13 2024, 4:08 pm

mha3484 wrote:

I have a handful of friends my age so 40ish who have taken jobs as classroom assistants/title one teachers etc in our local schools. It used to be a post sem kind of first job but I noticed the teacher aides are getting older. Its a nice way to make some money, be in a good environment and have the same schedule as your kids.

This is true! In the preschool/daycare where I work, most if the main teachers are young and the assistants are usually 50+ (also young!)

kermit

Mon, May 13 2024, 4:09 pm

Teach! Teach! Teach!

The wealthier/comfortable women in my community growing up always taught.

They had the koach to really apply themselves to the students, extra time to schmooze after class and we loved them!

plus, built in social life with the staff in the teacher's lounge, and being integrated as a pillar of whatever community the school serves (parents etc etc).

amother

Pumpkin

Mon, May 13 2024, 4:44 pm

Teaching is a commitment and you can’t have a flexible schedule.

If op wants a flexible schedule, a part time job as a receptionist/scheduler in a pediatrician’s office could work. She would get to see people but no major new skills to learn.

ora_43

Mon, May 13 2024, 4:47 pm

I think you should get a job.

Why -

The reasons you give for wanting a job sound like actual reasons to get a job. Wanting to get out of the house, meet people, feel accomplished - these are all things a job can actually provide. (Not every job will provide these things, but you can hold out for one that will)

The reasons you give not to give a job sound like anxiety. It's too hard, you're too old, you're not capable... Nahhh. That's 8 years out of the workforce talking.

Maybe you don't have many job skills (although you have some - if nothing else, you type in coherent English and are a responsible adult, which is huge). OK. Getting a job is how you'll learn and get more skills. Maybe you don't know what you want to do. OK. The sooner you get out there, the sooner you figure out what you're good at and what you enjoy.

It's not like work is amazing and fun and fulfilling every hour of the day. A lot of times it's hard, or boring, or unfulfilling. And going back to work after leaving the workforce is definitely an adjustment. But big picture, 8 years from now, I think you'll feel better and more capable if you've spent those years developing skills and being a part of something. (not that nobody can do that at home, but for you it sounds like something more is needed)

kermit

Mon, May 13 2024, 5:01 pm

amother Pumpkin wrote:

for the same 'part time receptionist' position you can just teach once or twice a week a specific class Smile

amother

Mon, May 13 2024, 9:31 pm

I really appreciate all the suggestions!
I definitely don’t want or need a full time position now so brainstorming here is really helpful.
I used to teach. It was good. I thought about it a lot and I don’t think I want to be in a classroom again. Maybe I’m just burnt out from teaching and from doing homework with my kids for so many years.

I don’t want to be a saleswoman working under someone else. I’m not sure why but it just doesn’t resonate with me.

I think something along the lines of receptionist in a medical office? I always liked the medical field so maybe this could be interesting and hopefully doesn’t take too much skill.

The more I’m thinking about it, what I want to do the most is something out of my home. Like sell something or offer a service. What service? I have no idea! What can I sell?? Another blank to fill in…

Ora 43- thanks for breaking everything down!
Yes, it probably all boils down to anxiety talking. And why put myself in an uncomfortable position when it’s not so necessary? It’s true that work is not always amazing and fun so that’s why I was trying to figure out if I can be busy with something I actually enjoy.

amother

Burntblack

Mon, May 13 2024, 9:51 pm

I didn't work in more than 8 years and just started a very part time job in a store. I am not doing it for the money. Try something out you may enjoy to get out a bit.

Aurora

Tue, May 14 2024, 1:49 pm

Maybe audit a class or two at a local college and see if something sparks your interest?

amother

Violet

Tue, May 14 2024, 2:10 pm

My grandmother was older than you when she went back to school for her first career. And she had a beautiful and meaningful second career.

amother

Maize

Tue, May 14 2024, 2:17 pm

Can you please elaborate about your grandmother 's career.
I'm in my high 50s, was a sahm throughout the years, and helped my husband in his business. I need to do something now and am a bit lost about what to start doing at my age. Would love to know what somebody started at a later age....

amother

Violet

Tue, May 14 2024, 3:10 pm

amother Maize wrote:

She became a social worker. She didn't do therapy, she did social work. I think she found it very meaningful. She was in school with people much younger, and they loved her for it.

mha3484

Tue, May 14 2024, 3:15 pm

My grandmother had a friend who got a masters in ed psych in her 40s and spent 3 decades evaluating children for learning disabilities. She loved her job so much and was so good at it.

amother

Amaryllis

Tue, May 14 2024, 4:13 pm

It might be helpful for you to work with a career coach( aptitude testing) who can help you identify what type of job will work with your strengths and bring you the most satisfaction.

If the medical field talks to you it’s never too late to become a nurse or something like that.

Also I wanted to add I was on the webinar Sunday night from ODEO academy which is basically a course for digital marketing and there are women in their 40’s and 50’s doing that now so your not too old to start a new career.

amother

Yellow

Tue, May 14 2024, 6:53 pm

I know how you feel OP.

I'm in my 40s and have been a SAHM for over 15 years with a bit of working from home here and there. My youngest is in preschool and will be starting first grade next year. I've been considering getting a job, but the truth is that I don't really want to work and B"H I don't have to. DH makes a relatively decent salary, but it's really investments and a yerusha that afford us the luxury of me staying home. I have a steady volunteer gig that I've been doing for over 10 years with occasional time off when I have a newborn that gives me some purpose and a social life. I also volunteer for my children's schools and for our shul. I keep plenty busy taking care of my home and my family and myself. I have a chronic health condition that leaves me with low energy many days and a lot of doctor appointments and physical therapy and other specialists that would be difficult to navigate with a regular job. I'm also something of an introvert. I enjoy hanging out with people as long as I have plenty of quiet time afterwards to decompress. I'm not sure how I would handle both working regularly and being there for my family all day long. But I do feel badly that I'm not contributing to the household as much as I can. If I was at all artistic or handy or trendy I would probably try to find something I could sell or service I could provide for a cost, but I really can't think of any business I could do from home so I haven't done anything like that. If you can figure something out, OP, kol hakavod to you!

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