temper temper | Imamother

hindyandrafi

Wed, Feb 23 2005, 11:12 am

My son has recently started to throw temper tantrums when he doesnt get his own way... If his food is not what he wants he throws it on the floor and sometimes he even hits me... This has been in the last week, and I want to end it before it starts up!!!!

I am very strict with him, and I move away, tell him no, and even give a little patch now and again.....

Any better sugestions.......

Hes also a very advanced 20 month old, and understands exactly when hes misbehaving.....

Rochel Leah

Wed, Feb 23 2005, 11:17 am

hindy, it sounds like our sons are twins..my 20 month does the same things though, his comprehension is as advanced as yours and he doesnt hit me yet.. it especaily happens by breakfast when his cereal isnt "just right", he tries pushing the bowl away.

I just take the bowl away put it on the table and walk out of thre room, till he calms down, once he is calm I try again to give it to him and he either takes it or repaats the process.it gets tough when we're in a rush..but I dont know what els e to do...saying no sternly doesnt work amd a patch wouldnt help either...

hindyandrafi

Wed, Feb 23 2005, 11:33 am

Rochel Leah... maybe we can sign them up for baby boot camp together... Im nervous as Im expecting in 8 weeks, and I have a feeling the behavious is going to get worse before it gets better....

Its funny as he goes from being an angel to a devil in less than a minute.....

I think I will try putting him in time out..... what do you think??

Rochel Leah

Wed, Feb 23 2005, 12:19 pm

I don't know if timeout will help..maybe your will understand, mine wouldn't. with him an imediate consequence works, like when he bites me( though I think he is doing it as a kiss, cuz he does it while cuddling), I immedialtly put him down and says boys that bite do not sit on mommies lap, he cries for second and then gives up. my issue is he will come back and do it an hour later..well I will be consistent with seperating myself..hopefully it will help in the long run.

I just sometimes dont get him because he is B"h very happy go lucky, friendly kid, so when he gets in his moods, I think I am with a totally different kid...

just say to yourself: this will pass. maybe get him a doll to look after so he gets used to another family member, or aminuture punching bag for when he gets angry....

ForeverYoung
Guest

Wed, Feb 23 2005, 12:29 pm

Girls, it's the age!!
Ignore it untill is passes.

Hindy&Rafi, you need to prepare you 20m old to the baby, or else....
(you know what I'm talking about!!)

Make his a big brother, make it HIS baby.

You can even have him 'talk' to the baby & make 'nice' to the baby.

I think setting up baby stuff (crib, etc) in advance will make the adjustment more gradual.

Stock up on gifts to give him every time somebody comes in with ANOTHER present for baby and NOT HIM - ask the guest to make a deal out of what a big boy & brother he is.

At this age h=the baby needs minimal attention, so give him a lot of it to prevent increase in tantrums.

Hope it helps Smile

hindyandrafi

Wed, Feb 23 2005, 1:15 pm

FY thanks for the great tips.....

Actually like I said Rafi is really advanced and I think he understands alot of whats going on... Ive shown him books about new babies and he is in daycare with a whol bunch of babies and he loves them unitl of course I pick them up, then he pushes and tells them to move!!!!

I told him mommy has a baby in her belly and he sticks his fingers in my belly button and says hello baby and baby out...

Hes also felt the baby kick and he says...

Mommy , baby kickin....... hes funny.... however I think he is going to be majorly PO's when it finally gets here and he realizes its here to stay

yehudis

Wed, Feb 23 2005, 2:56 pm

My 19-months-old is getting into this exact stage! It's so funny that you started a thread on this, because I was going to start one to get some tips Smile

.

This is my second, so it's much easier -- I just think it's very funny and kind of cute. Like, the other day, she didn't like her soup, so she just turned the bowl over right on the table, and then she looked at it and complained that it was wet Smile

. And then she asked for more soup!

She insists on picking her own clothes. So I offer her something, which she angrily rejects. So I put it on top of the pile and tell her to go through the pile and pick something. Of course, she ends up picking the exact same thing that is on top, so we both win Smile

.

What I really need tips on is how to get her into the car. It takes me 15 minutes to get her to sit in the car seat so I can buckle her. She climbs all over the car and especially likes the driver seat. The only thing that sort of helps, after a while, is if I tell her that I'll turn the music on as soon as she sits down.

Anyway, don't worry, Hindy and Rochel Leah, it will pass. My older daughter was the same way. There is nothing you need to do except for being patient and understanding. It's hard being a toddler -- there is so much they want to do, but so little they can actuallly do without help. And it's very frustrating for them -- much more frustrating than it is for us.

ForeverYoung
Guest

Wed, Feb 23 2005, 5:00 pm

Yehudis, she's sooo cute!!!

Car: - leave 5 min earlier & tell he we play for 5 min & buckle & then I turn on music. whcih tape do you want?

Cothing - prep in the eve or just let her pic. make sure only appropriate choices are avail.
My daughter is 4 & still insist on sertain thing once in a while, so when we get to her school I announce She dressed herself today
(and don't look funny at other parrents whose kids look like clowns Smile

)

Quote:

he sticks his fingers in my belly button and says hello baby and baby out...

soooooooooo cute!!!

by the way, my #2 became extremely jealous of #3 when the baby became cute - doing things. I was surprised, b/c #1 wasnt' really so gealous of #2

Go figure!

RochelLeah, your mother is a very wise woman!!

Tefila

Wed, Feb 23 2005, 5:26 pm

Quote:

by the way, my #2 became extremely jealous of #3 when the baby became cute - doing things. I was surprised, b/c #1 wasnt' really so gealous of #2

Coz num 1 is always num 1 being the eldest and the first . Number 3 is the baby and everyone loves the baby.Num 2 is the one who doesn't know her place and can sometimes feel like the sandwich. Just watch it and don't presume it will pass even though I am sure you are ontop of it.
Coz I had that problem too for awhile with my middle of 3 kids and that is why I say 3 is harder to raise then 4 or 5 etc. See then even subconciously theyr'e grouped, and yes we try to individualize attention. But times when it's chaotic atleast they have a sibling in their group too.... oh whatever Smile

hindyandrafi

Wed, Feb 23 2005, 9:00 pm

I hear you ladies.. and dont worry Im expecting it to be a bit rough.. my sis in law had a baby recently and when she holds her, Rafi likes her, but as soon as me or dh holds the baby, he pushes her and says my mommy......

I will do the gift thing for him, I think thats a great idea!!!!

Rivka

Thu, Feb 24 2005, 9:04 pm

My son started his tantrums too at an early age and now he's two I have managed to sort out some problems like shopping and bedtime.
Thing is nothing will happen straight away and it is alot to do with cause and effect, a toddler will try things to see what will happen. I wouldn't advise any kind of smacking coz it doesn't really teach anything or tell them what they are doing is wrong. If there is a new baby in the family it could be what the cause is, so I have heard of parents buy the older sibling a present and say it's from their baby sister/brother and that is a bit like a peace offering in a way. Involve the older sibling in baby things, like getting nappies and helping and giving lots of praise.
Tantrums can also be frustration at not being able to express themselves.