Missed Megillah :(

Ruchel

Mon, Mar 21 2011, 3:25 pm

Shalhevet: ah, now we bring sources from the internet? Interesting.

About names, don't dream about it. I know what you do when I do it, and I have been told it's not respectful for me to submit these people to it. I do not trust you to be respectful because you have a temper and a lot of gaava. That's it. I'm fed up with how you speak to and of people. Grow up.

Quote:

I'm talking about that no rav anywhere says women in general don't have to hear the megilla - it is a din going back to the gemorra and agreed on by all eidot.

Yes. The same way a ton of other sources you said were invalid, and when I asked my rav, he said they exist and are fine for those whose rav holds that way.

I am not interested.
OP, the only relevant source for you is your rav. Ask him, tell him everything in details.

As for me, I'm out of this thread.

shalhevet

Mon, Mar 21 2011, 3:33 pm

Ruchel wrote:

Shalhevet: ah, now we bring sources from the internet? Interesting.

I brought a reputable site and it is simply a summary of the sources quoted from the gemorra, tosfos and Rashi. They mention their sources.

If you want you can look it up in the SA, MB, Rambam etc for yourself. I really don't have the time right now.

Feel free to do the same - bring a reputable site (this excludes term papers from unknown students) quoting primary sources (this excludes names of unknown rabbis and unobtainable, unknown books).

I don't understand why you don't want to bring names/ sources. Is it a busha for someone to be giving a valid opinion? Are Rav Ovadia and Rav Elyashiv afraid of being quoted on their psakim even though they disagree? If someone believes their opinion is valid and has sources to back them up, why shouldn't they want someone to bring their name? (I am talking about a general psak - I can understand why a rav wouldn't want an individual, specific psak to be publicized in case people see it as a heter for them when it wasn't for their situation.)

chocolate moose

Mon, Mar 21 2011, 4:16 pm

I don't get it. You had a chance to go later, why didn't you?

If it was yom kippur you would be fasting. If it was erev Pesach, youd be working hard no matter what.

I don't get the "I don't feel like it" train of though.

sequoia

Tue, Mar 22 2011, 12:31 am

amother wrote:

I know when going on Imamother most of the women are catty and childish, I hope that they don't answer to my posts but if they do I will call them out on it.

I disagree. Most people on imamother are kind and thoughtful.

shalhevet

Tue, Mar 22 2011, 3:15 am

RichWithNachas wrote:

women originally were not obligated bec. of time constraints, but just as in other mitzvos like listening to shofar etc. women took it on and therefore now they are obligated to do so.

No, this isn't true. See above that it already appears in the gemorra - women are obligated because they were also part of the miracle, like the mitzvas of seder night, even though they are positive time-bound mitzvas. So it is a stronger chiyuv (obligation) than shofar etc.

chanchy123

Tue, Mar 22 2011, 3:31 am

amother wrote:

My dh was told Women are NOT mechuyiv with megillah and this was coming from a chassidishe rav.

It makes sense that that's what a chassidishe rav would pasken, this is in line with chassidish thinking, but not with mainstream halacha.

Isramom8

Tue, Mar 22 2011, 8:24 am

chocolate moose wrote:

This is not the same. It's a very serious transgression to eat stam on YK. Missing megilla is nowhere near that level. On Erev Pesach as on any other day, I think no one should work herself to the point of collapse.

There is a significant difference between not feeling like doing something, and being emotionally unable to do something.

PinkFridge

Tue, Mar 22 2011, 10:26 am

Isramom8 wrote:

chocolate moose wrote:

This is it.
If I were OP, I'd find someone to talk to, get the tools so that if I were in a similar situation I would have the strength to persevere. Megillah is a requirement. (Shofar OTOH isn't; there was a year I didn't hear shofar one day.)

amother

Tue, Mar 22 2011, 11:37 am

chocolate moose wrote:

I don't know. I think OP is being a big baby.

Yup, after many years of abusive behavior from my husband, feeling like I have absolutely no control over what he will do next, being pregnant and sick and tired and taking care of 2 little kids, I guess I'm just being a baby about the whole thing. When I say shema every night and a part of me hopes I don't wake up in the morning because it doesn't matter how good of a wife I am, my DH will just do what he does and act like a piece of ****, that must be me being a baby again.

amother

Tue, Mar 22 2011, 12:52 pm

amother wrote:

chocolate moose wrote:

I don't know. I think OP is being a big baby.

I think that it is difficult for someone who hasn't lived with an abusive person to understand how draining and emotionally exhausting it can be. OP, Hashem knows your suffering and understands what you are and are not able to do. I hope your situation improves soon.

ra_mom

Tue, Mar 22 2011, 1:06 pm

amother wrote:

chocolate moose wrote:

I don't know. I think OP is being a big baby.

amother

Tue, Mar 22 2011, 1:27 pm

amother wrote:

chocolate moose wrote:

I don't know. I think OP is being a big baby.

Chocolate Moose- what a horrible, awful, terrible thing to say to the OP!!
OP- I wouldn't worry so much about missing megillah, but you keep mentioning about fighting in your marriage and your abusive husband. That is something you should focus on rectifying. Obviously your husbands behavior is not your fault but in my opinion sounds like he needs some serious therapy or just a wake up call that he can not act like that in a marriage. Please don't get upset at people for giving unsolicited marriage advice to you...you keep posting about your marriage so it sounds to me like you are really crying out for help. Hope Hashem gives you the help and strength you need.