Waking up from nap in hysterics

wanderer

Mon, Mar 26 2012, 5:49 pm

I don't know what to do about this, and it's freaking me out. Every now and then, my 2 year old wakes up from her nap in hysterics. She shrieks, she wails, she cries, she throws herself every which way, she throws everything she can reach. She doesn't let anyone hold her or touch her without screaming. I give her whatever she asks in that phase (drink, blanket, paci, hold her), but she throws everything immediately, and wriggles away from me. I literally have to pin her down sometimes, because she gets so wild that I fear she is a danger to herself.

This never happens at night or morning. Only, sometimes when she wakes up from her midday nap. It can happen twice in a week or twice in a month, and I can't seem to find any pattern that leads up to this. It can take 20 minutes or more for her to begin to calm down, and until then she acts like she is literally possessed. I don't know what on earth to do.

Any advice, PLEASE?

buzz

Mon, Mar 26 2012, 9:51 pm

I had it with my second- he always cried and was ever so grumpy and tantrumed for ages - I think their body went into a very deep sleep and waking from that they either needed more or just need time to come to.

I learnt to put a drink, food etc next to him and leave the room till he was ready to be a mentch.

amother

Mon, Mar 26 2012, 9:58 pm

I really don't have any answers except to tell you you're not alone. My toddler tantrums like crazy after a nap and refuses to be held. It happens sometimes in the morning too. I just tell him, "do you need another minute? Because if you're not ready, Eema's going out. You can call Eema when you're ready to come out". I usually do this 2-3 times and it has been working because he gets more upset when I leave.

amother

Mon, Mar 26 2012, 10:04 pm

My 2 year old also went though this phase. It mostly passed by now. It sometimes helped to remind him immediately when he woke up of a special treat or activity we had planned. Otherwise, I just let him get it out of his system.

wanderer

Mon, Mar 26 2012, 10:14 pm

Thanks for the responses, guys.

The thing is, these are nothing like her typical tantrums during the day. I know how to deal with her usual terrible-twos tantrums, but with this, it's like she's in a totally different mode or something. It's like her brain switches off and she becomes manically hysterical. I can't reason, bribe, comfort, or explain - she's entirely out of it. I worry about putting her back in the crib and waiting it out - I'm afraid she'll hurt herself.

gp2.0

Mon, Mar 26 2012, 11:13 pm

My daughter does the same thing unless she sleeps for more than 2 hours. Anything less than that and she is hysterical, like you describe. Kicking, shouting, inconsolable. I joke that she inherited grouchiness-upon-waking from my DH.

She can also be very grouchy in the morning but food and drink solve that immediately.

Tantrums after a nap are sometimes alleviated by food, a 'special prize' (just one of her toys she hasn't seen in awhile) talking and hugs. The only method I've found that works all the time is to turn on a cartoon or sesame street on youtube. Then she calms down immediately. I think this works because it's an instant sensory distraction and because it doesn't involve too much focus so she can spend the extra ten minutes 'waking up' if you KWIM.

However parking her in front of a cartoon feels like bad parenting, so I still try other solutions first and save the cartoons for when I'm at the end of my rope.

Also, sometimes she wakes up crying 'ow' which I've realized can be due to her lying on an arm and it falling asleep or something like that.

AlwaysGrateful

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 10:43 am

Have you tried singing softly?

I wouldn't be nervous about her hurting herself. What can she do -- bang her head against the crib rails? My kids have done that before (in play, but HARD), and no lasting damage.

I would stay in the same room as her just in case. Just bring a book in or something and make sure she knwos that you're not really ignoring her by looking up every minute or so and saying, "I love you sweetie, let me know when you're ready to calm out" or "if you want to come to Mommy, say 'Mommy!' and I'll be right there."

She may have woken up from a bad dream or really anything. But sometimes, the best response is just to do nothing. Obviously don't treat it as a "misbehavior" -- it's just being overwhelmed with some feeling that's hard for your child to deal with. Be there for her. (I only suggest bringing the book so that your daughter doesn't feel like you're "watching her" because that can make these things last longer.)

infj

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 11:30 am

My 2 year old wakes up in middle of the night sometimes also in hysterics and has no idea whats going on. At first I had no idea how to calm him down then I tried massaging/ tickling him (not the giggly kind) and he relaxes and calms down and usually goes back to sleep.

wanderer

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 1:46 pm

I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only one dealing with this!

Thanks gp2.0, alwaysgrateful, and infj for your suggestions and advice. I will try singing to her first - that's not something she can throw away like everything else.

I appreciate all your suggestions and tips.

Yulka

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 2:01 pm

I had that with my 1st. My dd did that every day. It sometimes lasted up to an hour. I tried everything. What helped was not to run to her when she's waking up, but let her cry a little in her room. Eventually I just put her favorite video on and that seemed to calm her down.

I read that it happens when they wake up mid-cycle, when it gets interrupted. The problem is that it can't be prevented.

She did grow out of it.