Diaper drama | Imamother

chatouli

Tue, Apr 24 2012, 9:08 pm

My son will be two and a half in June. He has been pulling this shtick lately and I want to see what you all think of it.

Shabbos afternoon he went down for his nap at his usual time. About half an hour in, I checked the video monitor (b/c I wanted to go nap in his room where it is quiet!) and saw him standing naked in his crib holding his diaper. He yelled out, "I got a poo poo!" I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I went in and he was holding a poopy diaper. I took it from him, cleaned him up, put him back in his clothes, read him a story and put him back to bed. Ten minutes later I checked the monitor again. He was again naked holding his diaper. I went in and asked him what was going on. He told me, "I made a pee pee!" and he certainly had, some in his diaper but mostly on his blanket. Yeah, I didn't get that nap (and neither did he).

Sunday and Monday his naps were normal and no more diaper drama.

Today at naptime, he pulled the diaper shtick again and this time THREW his poopy diaper out of his crib onto the other bed in his room. EWWWWWWWWW Puke

So does this mean it's time to potty train him? Does your answer change if I tell you that we are going out of town to Savta's for a week on Sunday? And that he has a new(ish) baby brother (3 months old), so I've been reluctant to shake up anything in his life? Is this a phase that I should respond to with duct tape, or should I train him??? This is clearly too disgusting to continue as is. Thanks!

milchigs

Tue, Apr 24 2012, 9:13 pm

I've read about this problem somewhere, and what a lot of people found was a big help was picking up the child and (please take a deep breath, this may be shocking) sticking them under the freezing cold shower! I know, it's hard to believe, but, while most people who tried it said they were very hesitant to do it because they felt so bad, ALL of them agreed that this method worked!

Dolly Welsh

Tue, Apr 24 2012, 9:41 pm

He HAS trained himself already. He is a wonderful, bright kid. He is verbal, clear spoken, and on top of the situation. It seems to be time now for you to give him the option of the toilet. What he is doing is all that's available to him right now. He certainly isn't going to sit in his waste, like a BIG BABY. He's no BABY, and knows it. So, what else can he do than what he is doing?

Just show him how, and put him in underpants.

Now comes the important part: put a line in your budget for: throwing out poopy underpants after one use. Do NOT ever wash them. They never, ever come nicely clean, and you will hate scrubbing uselessly, and may come to be disgusted with HIM, Chas v'sh. Just discard them. Don't tell anybody, not even your hustand. Just chuck them. Into the trash. It's not a waste of money. It's cheaper than psychiatry.

In a little while, you will won't need to do this any more.

He will be fine, like everybody else. Don't make a big deal about it.

(Sometimes a BOY will wonder if IT will fall off in the toilet, along with what's also falling in there. If that happens, reassure him that IT is stuck on permanently, just as a finger is. Pull hard on one of your own fingers, to show him what you mean. See, it can never come off. Don't pull his finger, that will hurt him.

All will be well. He's very advanced and smart.

chatouli

Tue, Apr 24 2012, 10:44 pm

Thanks. I don't see the cold shower working for us. What is it meant to do, discourage diaper removal? Anyone else?

Also if I am going through with this, do I do it before we leave on Sunday or wait until we get to Savta's? It involves a plane ride.

seeker

Tue, Apr 24 2012, 11:34 pm

If you decide to wait until after your trip and need a fix in the meantime, most people I know deal with diaper removal by putting on zip-up pajamas backwards - the kind without feet so it fits backwards, more or less. For REALLY persistent kids, they put it on backward AND safety pin the zipper pull at the top.

cbsmommy

Tue, Apr 24 2012, 11:49 pm

I'm with Dolly on this one. At 2.5, diaper removal like this is a sign that the kid has learned to recognize that it is uncomfortable to sit in waste.

Now you need to teach him how to recognize that he needs to tell you and use the potty before he makes.

There's a Caliou book that my daughter loved for potty training. Also consider investing in a toilet seat rather than a separate potty. That way, you can take his seat with you to Savta's.

Dolly Welsh

Wed, Apr 25 2012, 12:21 am

Cold showers??

Don't mean to be rude, but that's not ok. It's way past the paved part of town and deep into the bad part of the woods.

It's cruel.

Sorry.

We are talking about a fellow human being here. That wouldn't be allowed in modern prisons.

chatouli

Wed, Apr 25 2012, 9:21 am

Yeah, I agree about the shower.

I have a book about potty training and we read it together. He also has a potty seat that he likes. I have put him on it several times at his request but he never makes or anything. I just thought it was a good idea to praise him for even wanting to go near it and not to make a big deal about it at all.

Does it make sense to train him at Savta's house? Or is it too weird to do it in a place that is new to him (he was last there at 15 months so won't remember it at all)? She does have tile floors Tongue Out

but it seems a shame to spend our only vacation in a year inside potty training. I just don't know if I can wait another 2 weeks to do this.

Seeker - thank you, I will try that in the meantime for his naps. I will have to cut the feet off his PJ's though b/c I can't find the only pair he has without feet. I'm a little hesitant to use a safety pin, he is quite wily and I'd be too afraid he'd somehow get it open and hurt himself.

Wed, Apr 25 2012, 9:36 am

I'm also with Dolly.

He is showing obvious signs of readiness for toileting. Throwing the diaper is his way of getting it away from his crib. Kids that age have a hard time with the difference between throwing and putting-down-nicely. He probably doesn't know that poop doesn't get put down just anywhere - ya gotta teach him it goes in the potty.

If he typically "makes" during his nap, be sure to sit him on the potty before naptime, and keep an eye on him to see when he wakes up. He should go potty immediately after. The grownups will have to sacrifice some naptime of their own.

No need to stay inside for potty training unless your son shows an unusual level of modesty. He can go around the backyard (if there is one) or even the park with his pants off, and the potty can go anywhere you go.

Hope this helps!

Dolly Welsh

Sun, Apr 29 2012, 9:38 pm

I am not quite in agreement with letting kids, any kids, get used to below-the-waist nudity. We are slowly civilizing the kid in all sorts of ways. Talking, saying hello to people, using the bathroom, wearing clothes. As WE aren't nude outdoors, he shouldn't be either. He is learning to be LIKE us.

And it might cause very unpleasant incidents of teasing and embarrassment from other kids or older kids, who knows who.

If you don't show him the taboos, others will, and much less nicely. No tush nudity outside the house, or even in general inside the house. Please. There is no need for this.

I would be very careful not to archive any photos that show things. He will not appreciate it later. Really. Be on the safe side.

I am not even in favor of a little girl in a trunks-only bathing suit. No, she hasn't anything up top, but you are teaching her comfort with bareness there.

If you let a little girl be nude below the waist outdoors or around the house in general, you are teaching comfort with this.

Modesty is NOT genetic or inborn. TEACH it. A little too much is better than a little too little. I am BT and I know what I am talking about.

sequoia

Sun, Apr 29 2012, 9:47 pm

In my experience kids figure out pretty early when it's okay to be naked and when it's not okay. My little nephews spend the summer at their grandparents' summerhouse and they don't wear clothes the entire three months. But during the rest of the year they don't try to pull off their pants in the street or in the grocery store Smile

Mon, Apr 30 2012, 6:03 am

Yes, cultural standards of modesty have to be taught. Age two is a little early, and IME it's considered normal to keep panties off to facilitate toileting for toddlers. It takes them too much time to get the clothes off, and early in the process they don't give a lot of advance warning for needing to "go."

freidasima

Mon, Apr 30 2012, 6:30 am

Modesty for babies under three is overrated in terms of toilet training. Teach them to be comfortable with their bodies, all parts of it. Believe me, when you toilet train at two and a half almost no children remember the process. The boy sounds smart, ask him if he wants to train, if he says yes, geh gezint and yes, throw away poopy pants please...if he doesn't want to train tell him that he can't take off his diaper but should call you to remove it. And take your time removing it, reminding him that it would be so much easier if he would agree to train, but that the choice is his.

Almost no one goes to the chuppah in a diaper these days, or with a pacifier actually...so chill.

Marion

Mon, Apr 30 2012, 6:39 am

I also think it's time to train, but I strongly disagree with throwing out proper underpants. It's not the end of the world to dump the solid waste in the toilet (which you're supposed to do with disposable diapers too, by the way) and wash the underwear. Would you throw out YOUR underwear if you got a stain on it?

If you want to train and are concerned about the flight you could buy one package of pull-ups to use on the plane in each direction. But then start training before you go and make it clear that the pull-up is underwear, not just a "big boy diaper".

shalhevet

Mon, Apr 30 2012, 8:23 am

milchigs wrote:

Wow, that's just cruel. Worked to do what? To teach him he's a bad boy for recognizing when he made and is ready for toilet training? shock

OP, yes I would train right now - your son is well on the way - that is the first stage, saying after he's made. You could use pull ups at Savta and get more serious once you are back home.

I am incredulous that people throw away underpants. Wow, that could be tens of shekels a week (for several weeks). What's wrong with laundry? ever heard of bal tashchis?

Mon, Apr 30 2012, 9:04 am

I also would rather reuse underwear than actually throw it out, especially training pants.

Cleaning up poopy underwear is yuckier than diapers because you have to pull the underwear down over the child's legs. There simply is a lot more handling of poop involved. As soon as we were done with toilet training in my house, training pants that snap open at the sides became available. If these are still on the market, I would definitely recommend giving them a try!