4 yr old son hurts me,how to show him how to deal with anger

amother

Tue, Oct 02 2012, 5:36 am

when he gets angry or doesnt get his way he punches me until I start crying, and still keeps going.

im in middle of reading the explosive child, but its not a book I can read cover to cover in one sitting like a jeffery archer book. I need to actually read it and understand it.

I usually walk away, but sometimes I just sit there and he beats the cr*p out of me.

hes generally an angry child, and im trying to learn how to deal with his frustration, but it doesnt take a day.
time outs do not working, neither does telling him he can NOT hurt me.

hes punched me in the stomach (im six months pregnant) and it really hurt. hell hurt himself as well (which I used to do myself as a kid) ill hold his hands until he stops, but that doesnt fix the issue.

he apologizes every time after, and feels bad. I know he does, and I know hes frustrated, but is my only answer a psychologist?

im generally an easily frustrated person, although I learned to maintain it and function. but im in my 20's. and it took me years to deal with anger.

how can I teach him how to deal with frustration? how to deal with anger without inflicting pain on himself or others?

grace413

Tue, Oct 02 2012, 6:16 am

amother wrote:

I usually walk away, but sometimes I just sit there and he beats the cr*p out of me.

hes generally an angry child, and im trying to learn how to deal with his frustration, but it doesnt take a day.
time outs do not working, neither does telling him he can NOT hurt me.

hes punched me in the stomach (im six months pregnant) and it really hurt. hell hurt himself as well (which I used to do myself as a kid) ill hold his hands until he stops, but that doesnt fix the issue.

I'm the mother of two extremely challenging children - just to let you know I've dealt with similar situations.

I don't understand why you just sit there when he is attacking you. You must take some action which will help him understand (on some level) that this is not acceptable. With my doctor's approval I would lock my DS in his room for short periods of time when he was out of control. (I was always close by). Or if you think he won't totally destroy the house or get hurt in 10 minutes, lock yourself in your room for a respite.

I think professional advice could be useful. If he has such serious anger management problems now, the situation may be exacerbated when the new baby arrives. It's so distressing, please find help.

5*Mom

Tue, Oct 02 2012, 6:19 am

If he needs to punch out his anger you can get him a punching bag. If he needs to throw things, get him one of those dartboards with a velcro ball instead of darts, you get the idea. Whatever his natural inclination, find him an acceptable outlet for it.