do they learn their lesson or grow out of it?

yo'ma

Sun, Nov 25 2012, 6:49 pm

This is for preschool and toddler.

My almost 5 year old, wednesday is his b-day LOL

, screams and throws fits for almost anything. I either ignore him, punish him, try to talk to him, or anything, depending on what's going on and what he's screaming about. I really don't think he's getting it through his head that when he does this, he's not going to get what he wants. I think he just has to grow out of it. Of course if I never intervened, never tell him that it's wrong and give in to him, he won't learn his lesson, but it's not enough, he also just has to grow out of it. What do you think, not with this specifically?

imasinger

Sun, Nov 25 2012, 7:41 pm

Unless there's something wrong, they do grow out of it. And even when there is something wrong, you're wise not to give in. My DD works with autistic kids, and she has spent hours helping this one family that gave in to their kid every time he threw a tantrum, so never learned to do things within his abilities. She has toilet trained him pretty quickly just by letting him know that he will still have to use the bathroom regularly whether he has a tantrum or not.

To make it go away faster, you can try rewarding him for facing difficult situations without a tantrum. First, keep notes for a week of every time he has a tantrum, and what you think might be possible causes. Does he tend to melt down more when he is hungry? Tired? When he needs the bathroom? During a transition? When he has had a fight with a sibling? Then, once you have a clear idea of the biggest triggers, set him up for success. Choose a time when he is in control, and tell him that you are going to make a sticker chart to reward him every time he is in one of those situations and does NOT have a tantrum. Remember, you want him to succeed and earn stickers, especially at first. Then, be sure to reward him every time you see him accept things in stride, both with verbal praise, and with the sticker. You might even decide that enough stickers could earn him something he wants.

Hang in there. Whether you work with him like this, or just tough it out, he will hopefully not be kicking on the floor by the time of his bar mitzvah.