WWYD in this situation?

amother

Sun, Aug 11 2013, 9:38 am

I am running a day camp in my home and we sometimes use the building's safe room for playtime. Today, my assistant and I were going down with our 8 kids to the room and my nieghbor who lives right next to the safe room was talking to a woman, whose daughter happened to have been in my playgroup this past year. Needless to say, the little girl was so excited to see me and was eyeing the playroom curiously. Her mom and my neighbor were still finishing up their discussion and the mother said to me "I see in her eyes that she is just dying to go in there and play. Is it ok if she stays for a little bit?" I said "Sure, of course!" Next thing I know, (I had turned to attend to another child), I hear the mother walking out of the building saying "Bye sweetie! See you later!"

My neighbor and I shared a little laugh - we both thought she had meant for her daughter to stay a few minutes, but apparently she meant as part of the daycamp. I assumed she would pay for the day. (It was was only 11 in the morning at that time.)

Anyway, her father came to pick her up (15 minutes late, too) and didn't mention anything about payment.

My husband was so upset. He feels that I let ppl walk all over me and that with them I should have said something. I dunno, I kind of felt that I could have clarified it by calling earlier in the day or something, if it really bothered me, but I didn't. I feel like maybe she was asking for a favor, I said yes, end of story. If I call her up asking her for money because I didn't understand it as a favor, maybe she'll be upset. And is it really worth it for 25 shekels? Not in my opinion. I can use it as a learning experience for next time though...

But on the othre hand, my dh has had it with them for taking advantage of me, coming late on a frequent basis, often forgettign to send food and relying on me to feed her, etc. They are really sweet people, please don't ,misunderstand. They are not the taking advantage type - they are a large family and this girl is the second to youngest...the whole year it seemed more of a "house is flying today" type of situation.

Anyways, what would you do?

SplitPea

Sun, Aug 11 2013, 10:23 am

I don't think you can change her now. I think it's a learning experience. I would have thought the mom was going to come down with her while she was playing. I would simply learn and not let it happen "can Leah stay and play" "sure our daily rate is ____ and we charge at drop off" not at pick up so they can't "forget" money. Now you can't go backs back and ask for money when she did not know she was paying.

It's a sucky situation. Learn from it and go on.

greenfire

Sun, Aug 11 2013, 10:32 am

while you cannot go back & ask for the monies ... you can certainly tell her that when she stated:

"I see in her eyes that she is just dying to go in there and play. Is it ok if she stays for a little bit?"

certainly meant to go in for a little bit think 5 to 10 minutes - not leave her there for a free day of camp

imagine if someone goes into a pizza shop and asks if it's okay to have a piece of pizza - do you expect not to pay?! [unless of course one of your good friends owns said pizza shop]

imasinger

Sun, Aug 11 2013, 10:34 am

I pretty much agree with SplitPea. Probably the most you could do now is say to her, "We had a misunderstanding. I'm going to let it go for this time, but I was under the impression that she would either play for 15 minutes and leave, or you would pay me for the time; this is my parnassah."

That will hopefully prevent any expectation that this will happen again, and who knows, maybe she'll apologize and pay for this time.

Dolly Welsh

Sun, Aug 11 2013, 2:26 pm

Mail her an invoice, with careful details as to the date and time the child was there. Quickly, before it is forgotten.

If she doesn't pay it, you will know that you did what you could, to accomodate someone with daycare, and then give them a chance to pay later.

If she asks again to have her child with you without paying, state "You have an unpaid balance with us. That needs to be cleared up first." If she starts fumbling in her purse to get the cash or a check, you will know she is a nice person. Even to give you part of it in cash, on the spot. Something.

If not, well.

If not, state firmly, "Er, we are full today. We can't take another one". Even if you obviously have only three kids there.

It's YOUR daycare. You can do what you want. She can't get cross when she knows, from your invoice, that she owes you money.

If she does get cross, don't argue or get unpleasant, just state "Er, this is my LIVELIHOOD".

Then ooze away.

Barbara

Sun, Aug 11 2013, 2:37 pm

SplitPea wrote:

THIS.

You cannot ask her for money now.

Out of curiosity, do you have, or need, the building's permission to use the Safe Room this way? Because otherwise, you risk her saying (I) Oh, then I'll just bring my child into the Safe Room while you're there; its equally available to all of us, so you can't say a thing; or (ii) you have no right to use the Safe Room, and I will be speaking with the landlord / manager about it.

If either is a risk, think carefully about what you say to her.

Dolly Welsh

Sun, Aug 11 2013, 2:52 pm

You can't change people's characters, but you can bill them for services.

(If the room is available in general, there is, or should be, a sign on the wall that "no child is to be left here without personal, or formally arranged, supervision.") OP could take her kids out for a walk. Where does that leave a child nobody has arranged care for? Alone in the room?

I say, use the post. Mail her a simple, polite invoice, on pink paper so it doesn't look meanspirited. And, no further service if it isn't paid. This is normal, no?

Yes, OP needs an arrangement with management that she has a clear right to use the room for her group. Good point.