Having twins. Need help with a few issues

amother

Sun, Aug 18 2013, 12:11 pm

Hi everyone.

I'm having twins, G-d willing, who will be my 1st kids. I am anxious about a few issues and could use some help from experienced mothers!

1- Is it possible to manage by myself (and help of dh, without making him a zombie) without a nurse?

2- I will be staying by my parents' for a few days after birth. Will the whole family spend the nights up with 2 crying babies (all the rooms are very close together) or will they be able to sleep through the crying?

3- When we do come back home, is it ok if they sleep in a different room in my house and not in mine? (Mine is tiny!) Will I basically spend all my whole nights in their room and not even touch my bed?

Thank you!

TwinsMommy

Sun, Aug 18 2013, 12:23 pm

1) ABSOLUTELY. We had no help, though my hubby took 10 days of paternity leave. 8 of those days, the twins were still in the NICU. No nurse necessary! (in my opinion!). However, *I* wasn't working much that first couple of months...... I napped when the kids napped.

2) They might not want to sleep through the crying--- they might want to help you! Smile

but yeah, newborn cries vary--- we had one twin who would NEVER have woken us up if it weren't for her twin. seriously, I would have had to set a loud alarm to wake me every 2 and a half hours to feed her if she were a singleton. Now at age 6, she's the MUCH louder twin. Smile

Some babies are loud, and some are just whiny.

3) Our twins NEVER slept with us and were ALWAYS in another room. It's definitely ok. But yes, for a while you'll be wandering back and forth a lot. Get a good baby monitor and if both your twins are like my Reena and not loud cryers, set an alarm for every 2 and a half hours. Smile

After at least a year of them sleeping in another room I would allow one twin at a time to sleep with me part of the night if s/he were sick but that's it.

That's my parenting style--- you're also going to hear from the co-sleepers who hire night nurses..... but I'm a do it yourselfer who didn't have a nurse who feels very strongly that my twins at age 6 are so incredibly much harder than they were as infants. I'm in the minority amongst my friends though. When my kids were infants I packed a bag, I fed, diapered, and dressed them, and off we went. Now to get out of the house I have to find everything that they've moved, I have to get dressed during the running commentary of "mommy why are you wearing that-- are you going pee pee---- mommy I need a snack RIGHT NOW" and I have to pack a zillion things to keep them busy through a half hour wait at a doctor's office. lol. I MISS the infant stage, but I'm good with little sleep.

B'shaah tovah, how's the pregnancy?

amother

Wed, Aug 21 2013, 10:01 pm

Having twins is beautiful. May you have them easily and healthy in the right time. I have twins a girl and a boy. I came home with no help. They were in my room till I stopped nursing them bec if mot in your room they end up in your bed for the night between all the feedings because you are to tiered to get them back to a different room You just have to learn that their schedule is your schedule. That is the only way to manage without help. Hatzlacha. It will pay off.
Just a few important tips. Put them in the Same crib. Mine were in the same crib for eleven and a half months they continue to grow and develop better. I even kept them in the same bassinet from the stroller for a while. They were even on the same gymnie mat. Neverind these things save you money. But it helps them grow and develop properly.
If you will be nursing them good luck. I just stopped nursing my twins at twenty three months d and my son keeps begging me to feed him. Please feed them at the same time if not you will never have time for yourself. Make sure you have a comfortable seat bec if not you will kill your back. I got the twin nursing pillow called my breast friend it was ok but very hard to sit with because so big. Two pillows were a lot easier. also it is easier to feed them when you are in a laying position.
Try to have a video camera or a regular camera handie at all times. You will notice different things about them like either they will both keep their head to one direction or they will be facing each other they even hold hand ...... It is all mirical everything they so. But just remember they are two different people and let them grow at their own pace. Don't compare them.

amother

Thu, Aug 22 2013, 6:25 am

DO NOT PUT YOUR KIDS IN THE SAME CRIB. I had to watch a video before they would release my kids to the hospital about not putting my babies in the same crib. Too many times a baby has rolled over on top of the other and smothered the child. I started off with two pack and plays and when they turned 3 months I got them each there own crib. They did not sleep in my room because my DH felt that they needed there space and we needed ours. It was a smart move. I slept in there room for the first 4 months until I sleep trained them. My babies didn't want to nurse so I bottle fed them and while I was disappointed it turned out for the best. I found that the most important thing with having twins was SCHEDULE SCHEDULE SCHEDULE. We did the same thing every day at the same time. I fed them at the same time, I napped them at the same time we did bath and dinner at the same time. I fed them every 4 hours on the dot (Every 3 hours when we brought them home from the hospital). Didn't matter where we were we stopped what we were doing and fed the babies. They napped at the same time every day. Sometimes it is annoying because you need to be out and doing something but I did everything in my power to make sure we were home during those times. Now my babies sleep from 6:30 - 8 then take a nap from 9:30 -11:30 and 3-5 and go to sleep again at 6:30. They have been doing this almost daily for the past 18 months. Also I suggest getting a notebook to keep track of everything (how much they are eating, pooping, wet diapers). It really helped me when I would go to the pediatrician's office and he would ask me questions, all I needed to do was pull out my notebook and show him everything. GOOD LUCK - Twins are awesome!

ntm1

Thu, Aug 22 2013, 6:37 am

Hi.... I hope all goes well and you should have an easy and healthy pregnancy/delivery at the right time.

My twins are turning 3 now I"yh. After they were born I went to my parents for about 3 months with a nurse-for the first 6-8 weeks it was full time (since I was home alone with my twins and the next 4-6 weeks we had a nurse just for the nights or every couple of nights so I can catch some sleep and take care of them alone during the day) My parents live in a small apartment where the bedrooms are next to each other-since my DH had just started an intensive semester in college and he wasn't going to be able to help me much. When we got home they went into separate cribs (they slept in 1 crib until then) in another room- if you think you wont be able to hear them buy a monitor.

Since my dh wasn't home during the day and I was on my own we did the following which really worked. I did a feeding/bottles at night at around 7 P.m.or so- don't remember exactly and put them to sleep. Then I went to sleep. Then my dh did the next feeding before he went to sleep around 11 P.M. and then I did the next feeding at around 3/4 A.M. This way I had already slept from around 8:30 until 3:30 and wasn't so tired and went back to sleep until the next feeding around 7. Plus every time they napped during the day I also slept.

Any other questions feel free to ask....Good Luck

amother

Fri, Aug 30 2013, 9:55 am

amother wrote:

My twins slept together in a pack and play for several months. Newborns don't roll over. And they are used to being close together. In the hospital they kept them together in 1 bin (not sure what else to call those clear plastic things they keep babies in) and recommended it for their comfort. Only after several months did I separate them into 2 cribs, and it was more about them not waking each other up at night then about fear of them smothering each other. That seems far fetched if babies are healthy and developmentally on target.

Anyhow, OP, having help is nice but it isn't necessary. My MIL insisted so we got a baby nurse, but at some point she leaves and you have to manage on your own anyhow. Might as well jump right in. It is very hard for the first few months but it does get easier as you fall into a routine. B'shaah tova!

mandr

Fri, Aug 30 2013, 10:00 am

amother wrote:

Newborns don't roll over. And they are used to being close together. In the hospital they kept them together in 1 bin (not sure what else to call those clear plastic things they keep babies in) and recommended it for their comfort. Only after several months did I separate them into 2 cribs, and it was more about them not waking each other up at night then about fear of them smothering each other. That seems far fetched if babies are healthy and developmentally on target.

Newborns can and do turn over. I myself turned over the day I was born (I needed my pacifier back, the nurse who saw that claimed). And in the hospital they have supervision so if a baby was smothering another one in the bassinet, it would probably be noticed earlier than if it was in your house.