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-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
amother
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 Wed, Mar 18 2015, 11:51 pm
Is it appropriate for a first grade teacher to tell the boys: if you don't write your name on your project I will throw it in the garbage.
DS remembered right after working on his project, that he forgot to write his name. He went to tell his teacher and she shrugged, like "Oh well."
He was really upset tonight because he worked really hard on this project and is afraid that she will throw it away.
I understand that he's in first grade and at this point he should probably remember to write his name. But is it ok to threaten that she will throw it out?
DS is begging me to email the teacher and ask her to please not throw it out.
What do you think and how would you handle this? I would particularly appreciate hearing from educators please.
I'm anon cuz I discussed this with a few people tonight.
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Leahh
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Thu, Mar 19 2015, 12:09 am
I am not an educator but I am a mother of young boys and girls around the same age.
Unless this has been an ongoing problem throughout the year, that your son is forgetting to write his name, then the threat was way overboard. And even if it was a problem, I still think it was inappropriate and the teacher should've used a different threat, like losing a point.
What really bothers me, though, is the teachers atitude. A child made a mistake. Realized the mistake. And tried to correct it. A teachers response should not be "oh well". And if she has the nerve to actually throw out the project I would most definitely go above her to the principal.
This is a first grader. At this age it's the teachers job to teach the child to be responsible. Not expect the child to know to be responsible. So if the child made a mistake and is going to the teacher to correct it, that is taking responsibility for his actions and the teacher should embrace that. Not turn the child away by saying oh well.
Sorry I don't have practical advice. I don't know what I would do in this situation but I am really bothered by it and understand your son being upset. I don't think an email to the teacher is inappropriate but I don't know how effective it will be.
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ohmygosh
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Thu, Mar 19 2015, 12:13 am
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Soooo inappropriate!! These children are, what, 7 years old?? This teacher needs a lesson in how to teach young children!
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amother
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Thu, Mar 19 2015, 12:16 am
| Leahh wrote: | I am not an educator but I am a mother of young boys and girls around the same age.
Unless this has been an ongoing problem throughout the year, that your son is forgetting to write his name, then the threat was way overboard. And even if it was a problem, I still think it was inappropriate and the teacher should've used a different threat, like losing a point.
What really bothers me, though, is the teachers atitude. A child made a mistake. Realized the mistake. And tried to correct it. A teachers response should not be "oh well". And if she has the nerve to actually throw out the project I would most definitely go above her to the principal.
This is a first grader. At this age it's the teachers job to teach the child to be responsible. Not expect the child to know to be responsible. So if the child made a mistake and is going to the teacher to correct it, that is taking responsibility for his actions and the teacher should embrace that. Not turn the child away by saying oh well.
Sorry I don't have practical advice. I don't know what I would do in this situation but I am really bothered by it and understand your son being upset. I don't think an email to the teacher is inappropriate but I don't know how effective it will be. |
Thank you so much for your quick ad detailed response.
I'm so upset by this and other things this teacher has done. I wanted to make sure my reaction wasn't be clouded by the other things. Also, there was someone who told me tonight that although he is in first grade, at this point, he should remember to write his name.
I'm really worried that she might throw it out. What would I write in an email to her? Also, how do talk to my son about this situation?
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amother
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Thu, Mar 19 2015, 12:17 am
| ohmygosh wrote: | | Soooo inappropriate!! These children are, what, 7 years old?? This teacher needs a lesson in how to teach young children! |
Yup! And this is a longtime teacher. So what do I do?
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seeker
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Thu, Mar 19 2015, 2:09 am
| Leahh wrote: | I am not an educator but I am a mother of young boys and girls around the same age.
Unless this has been an ongoing problem throughout the year, that your son is forgetting to write his name, then the threat was way overboard. And even if it was a problem, I still think it was inappropriate and the teacher should've used a different threat, like losing a point.
What really bothers me, though, is the teachers atitude. A child made a mistake. Realized the mistake. And tried to correct it. A teachers response should not be "oh well". And if she has the nerve to actually throw out the project I would most definitely go above her to the principal.
This is a first grader. At this age it's the teachers job to teach the child to be responsible. Not expect the child to know to be responsible. So if the child made a mistake and is going to the teacher to correct it, that is taking responsibility for his actions and the teacher should embrace that. Not turn the child away by saying oh well.
Sorry I don't have practical advice. I don't know what I would do in this situation but I am really bothered by it and understand your son being upset. I don't think an email to the teacher is inappropriate but I don't know how effective it will be. |
I started writing my own thoughts, but never mind. This was my bottom line anyway ^
Throwing away a kid's project is disrespectful of their work and creativity and very discouraging. Not allowing the child to correct their mistake that they realized on their own in a short time frame is similarly disrespectful, as if you don't think small children need (never mind deserve; I said NEED) courtesy and kindness as much as you do.
Unless there is some context we are missing, this is very sad. I would empathize with the child's feelings first and foremost, trying not to get into blaming the teacher but definitely acknowledging his right to feel upset at the loss of his project. You could also perhaps use it as a learning moment if he sometimes has a hard time forgiving others - remember how you wanted to fix your mistake? And maybe offer to do a similar project with him at home if he enjoys doing projects, so he can show you what he made even if he didn't get a chance to bring his school project home.
Then I would look for the principal. Don't know if it will make a difference, maybe if the project is not in the trash it can still be rescued by administrative request, beyond that I don't know. And if you have any more sons coming to this school, do what you can to make sure they don't get this teacher when the time comes! For now I think the best you can do is probably damage control at home, if the teacher is making him feel disrespected, discouraged, put-down, then build him up even more than you would anyway.
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imasinger
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Thu, Mar 19 2015, 2:16 am
How many kids are in the class?
How did your parent teacher meeting(s) go so far this year?
What do other parents say about her policies and style?
If she has been pretty reasonable, talk to her. Maybe there is a misunderstanding.
If she's a rigid, hard liner, maybe talk first to your DS. Tell him that you are proud of his work, that sometimes people are very strict and we get hurt, but in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really matter. That you will try to discuss this with her, but she may not change her mind.
And if the teacher is unresponsive, try talking to the administration and complaining.
I think this rule is inappropriate, and its announced enforcement, especially at this age, poor teaching in every way.
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amother
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Thu, Mar 19 2015, 6:12 am
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I've seen 12th graders forget to write their names. This is way over the top for a first grader who is just figuring out how school works.
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amother
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Thu, Mar 19 2015, 6:42 am
I am a teacher. First grade is a training ground for routines. Habits become routines with LOTS of repetition.
The teacher should state the instructions before the project begins.
Something like:"Ok everybody. Before we begin, everyone make sure to write your name.
Put your finger on your name." Then she can walk around the room quickly and see the child with their finger on their name. Or "Pick up your hand when you finished writing your name."
Throwing out their work without figuring out a positive way to make sure they are feeling successful steps on their soul.
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amother
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Thu, Mar 19 2015, 9:05 am
| amother wrote: | I am a teacher. First grade is a training ground for routines. Habits become routines with LOTS of repetition.
The teacher should state the instructions before the project begins.
Something like:"Ok everybody. Before we begin, everyone make sure to write your name.
Put your finger on your name." Then she can walk around the room quickly and see the child with their finger on their name. Or "Pick up your hand when you finished writing your name."
Throwing out their work without figuring out a positive way to make sure they are feeling successful steps on their soul. |
Amother, you sound like a wonderful teacher. Your students (and their parents) are lucky to have you.
Thank you all for your responses.
This situation was upsetting. Truth is, even if she doesn't throw it out--this is not the way to teach 7 year olds. It's just not.
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Leahh
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Thu, Mar 19 2015, 9:07 am
If this teacher has been an issue before maybe it is time to go to the principal. ...
good luck!
And give your son hugs from me
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Chayalle
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Thu, Mar 19 2015, 9:35 am
My DD is in first grade. Amother  . Give your son lots of hugs. Teach him that it's okay to make mistakes because only Hashem is perfect.
Try and see if you can reason with the teacher. Be very respectful but assertive. Tell her that while you respect that she is trying to teach responsibility (even if you don't; your son still has to survive her classroom) your son is very sensitive so you are asking her to please modify this rule for him.
This year, I switched my DD to a different class, because her class was getting a teacher who plays by every.single.rule and I don't know what she's doing in first grade (previous tough year with older DD who had that teacher and I spent the year doing damage control.)
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oohlala
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Thu, Mar 19 2015, 12:00 pm
I taught first grade for 4 yrs.
While a teacher may choose to implement a consequence for a nameless paper/project (after this has been taught and reinforced many times), I disagree with the consequence of throwing it in the garbage. This seems way out of proportion to the "crime." A consequence should be logical. Offhand, I can't come up with anything logical, but throwing it out sure isn't.
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Simple1
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Thu, Mar 19 2015, 12:05 pm
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I have never seen this done, even in high school. Some teachers take off points for missing names.
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Miri7
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Thu, Mar 19 2015, 12:13 pm
This is not an appropriate way for the teacher to deal with the problem of kids forgetting to write their names. Especially for first-graders.
Throwing their schoolwork away teaches the kids that their work has no value. There are lots of other constructive and positive ways for the teacher to help the students learn to always remember to write their name , like the ideas posted up thread by an experienced teacher.
Most importantly a first-grade teacher needs to teach the children how to walk in the world, how to be loving, kind, and respectful of everyone. Her practice throwing their hard work in the garbage is harsh and a little mean. It's such a terrible example.
I would approach the teacher to talk about this and maybe brainstorm some ideas with her about how to address the name writing a problem. You can emphasize how hard your son and the other children work on their projects and how devastated they are when they realize they have forgotten to write their name.
If this persists and or if there are other problems with the teacher, you may need to speak with someone in the administration.
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amother
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Thu, Mar 19 2015, 1:16 pm
Op here with an update. The teacher responded that she won't throw it away but "I bet you now he won't forget to write his name."
Well I'm glad that she's not throwing it away. But what a way to teach little kids. (Putting aside the fact that she is not keeping her word.)
I once again want to reiterate having all your support. Thank you.
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Scrabble123
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Thu, Mar 19 2015, 1:23 pm
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Throwing away a project is disrespectful to the child and his/her work and effort. She can say that it will not receive a grade, but to actually throw it away is absurd. I would discuss those concerns with the teacher or higher up. I would also make sure that your son knows how much you value his work whether or not it has his name on it, although it is still important to write your name.
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ohmygosh
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Thu, Mar 19 2015, 1:25 pm
| Quote: | | The teacher responded that she won't throw it away but "I bet you now he won't forget to write his name." |
I find that to be an awful response. It's as if she's saying 'yup, I showed him!' I don't think I would trust a teacher like that to be kind and nurturing to my child.
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amother
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Thu, Mar 19 2015, 1:34 pm
| ohmygosh wrote: | | Quote: | | The teacher responded that she won't throw it away but "I bet you now he won't forget to write his name." |
I find that to be an awful response. It's as if she's saying 'yup, I showed him!' I don't think I would trust a teacher like that to be kind and nurturing to my child. |
I fully agree. I found it very upsetting.
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Bruria
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Thu, Mar 19 2015, 2:55 pm
This is awful! How is she a teacher? Threatening to throw away their work is completely traumatizing, they are only 6-7 years old in 1st grade!
I would definitely complain about the teacher, who knows what else does she say to them!
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