S/O Do you treat your cleaning lady like a queen?

FranticFrummie

Tue, Mar 31 2015, 5:17 am

I hire a friend of mine to clean for me, but I've also had regular cleaning ladies.

I always treat them like royalty! They are doing things that my poor achy old bones do not want to do, and I appreciate them as professionals. I often give them things that they've admired, offer food and drink, and get to know them a bit if they're new.

If they're near my size they are offered nice clothing that I don't wear anymore (not shmattes), and if I find out they have girls younger than my daughter, they get first pick of the bag of items that I was going to donate to charity.

I'm always cheerful, flexible with their schedules, and understanding when their kids get sick. Hey, life happens to all of us, right?

I never understood the attitude of treating cleaning ladies (or lawn service) as "beneath you". Their work makes me happy, and I'm glad to give them some happiness in return.

Raisin

Tue, Mar 31 2015, 5:20 am

Maybe its just me, but I wouldn't offer the queen my clothing. But maybe a friend is a better example.

Lady Bug

Tue, Mar 31 2015, 7:04 am

I don't treat her like a queen, but I treat her like a mentch.

staten islander

Tue, Mar 31 2015, 10:16 am

I also offer clothing, great lunch,toys for her kids,a tip around the holidays. I have a great cl and I would like to keep her

Barbara

Tue, Mar 31 2015, 10:44 am

No. I do, however, treat household help like valued employees. That means no questions when they need a day off for appointments or personal matters. Paid vacations. Bonuses. Being treated with respect.

Barbara

Tue, Mar 31 2015, 10:52 am

Raisin wrote:

Maybe its just me, but I wouldn't offer the queen my clothing. But maybe a friend is a better example.

I also wouldn't ask a queen to clean the toilet.

mommy3b2c

Tue, Mar 31 2015, 11:02 am

I would say like a friend, since queens don't clean your house for you. I schmooze with her. Give her clothing for her children. Buy her kids presents for holidays. Tip her. Drive her home in bad weather. Feed her nicely, etc... She is a nice person, and I really like her.

acccdac

Tue, Mar 31 2015, 11:05 am

I remember the day of my bas mitzva my live-in cleaning lady gave me $20 for my bas mitzvah present. My mother told me to go say thank you as soon as I opened the card and she came with me to say thank you as well. She told me to give her a hug and I did.

That taught me soooooo much.

Chana Miriam S

Tue, Mar 31 2015, 11:24 am

I recently hired my 'helper' and she was in a horrible living situation. I connected her to a friend with a basement apartment and then when she was cold (because it was a basement, in Canada) I lent her my down comforter. I drive her home whenever possible.

Good help is worth their weight in gold.

PinkFridge

Tue, Mar 31 2015, 11:27 am

andrea levy wrote:

That word may have connotations, not necessarily positive, but I think this is the crux, telegraphing how much we appreciate the help. For years I only got cleaning help for Pesach and they knew how much I considered them partners in pulling Pesach off.

Fox

Tue, Mar 31 2015, 2:46 pm

The bottom line is that, in most places today, *all* of us (or at least the vast majority of us!) get to take our daily turns as "cleaning ladies."

By that, I mean that almost all paid employment involves being a "cleaning lady" of some sort.

I spend my days cleaning up the messes my clients have made with their databases. Lawyers spend their days cleaning up legal messes their clients have made. Accountants spend their days cleaning up messes in financial records. Physicians and nurses spend their days cleaning up messes (sometimes literally) in the health of their patients.

Now, if we're *good* cleaning ladies, we also spend a lot of hours not just cleaning up existing messes, but organizing things and providing services to prevent our customers and clients from making even worse messes.

Some of the messes we handle are unavoidable, and some could have been prevented. Some messes result from irresponsibility or sheer stupidity, and some occur despite people's best efforts.

So while my cleaning lady was scrubbing underneath my radiators this morning, I was dealing with a multi-million dollar Jewish organization that "thinks" they have a backup of their database. My cleaning lady was probably thinking, "What a mess! What was Fox thinking all year?" while I was thinking, "What a mess! What was the executive director thinking?"

Would I want a client to offer me something they didn't need? Well, clothes are a little personal, but I remember a client once offered me a substantial discount in her husband's clothing store in gratitude for my help. Let me tell you, I jumped on that offer with both feet!

When I offer things to my cleaning lady, I am very careful to treat us as equals but also as women who hate waste. She has an extended family and lives in an immigrant community, so I always ask if she "knows anyone who could use X, Y, or Z." Sometimes we joke that *neither* of us wants some item (we both hate tea), but she often takes things to pass along to members of her family or new immigrants who can use them.

It's not a matter of noblesse oblige, it's a matter of midda keneged midda. I firmly believe that there is a special place in Shemayim for the cleaning ladies who keep us from drowning in our own messes, and I figure if I treat my cleaning lady like the professional she is, Hashem will reward me with clients who treat me the same.

Chana Miriam S

Tue, Mar 31 2015, 3:18 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

I used 'helper' because if she stays with me, she will wear various hats! I don't mean 'help' like as in the book, 'The Help.' I mean actual helping me.

She is cleaning now but eventually I hope to together sort my junk room, get my taxes under control and have her work with me when I do catering.

Its really more like working 'with' her, but she takes on the good with the bad, including laundry.

Frumdoc

Tue, Mar 31 2015, 4:28 pm

I wouldn't ask the queen to clean my house or do chores, so no, I don't consider I treat her like a queen, but I do treat her as a friend with kindness and employee with fair pay and respect.

PinkFridge

Tue, Mar 31 2015, 4:44 pm

andrea levy wrote:

Oh, I know you meant it the right way. That's my point, to mean it one way vs. the other.

amother

Papaya

Tue, Mar 31 2015, 6:14 pm

andrea levy wrote:

She does taxes?

Raisin

Tue, Mar 31 2015, 6:24 pm

amother wrote:

She does taxes?

lol. One of my cleaners was an accountant back where she came from. Perhaps she was a good accountant, but she was a terrible cleaner.

Ruchel

Wed, Apr 01 2015, 9:08 am

No. I treat her as an employee.

imaima

Wed, Apr 01 2015, 9:31 am

I treat her as an equal.
I hire her because I have no time or health to clean myself. Not because it is "beneath me".

So if I am not offering her lunch, it means I am not home and/or I don't have lunch for myself and my family. If I have it, I can offer it to her too.

greenfire

Wed, Apr 01 2015, 12:55 pm

I really hope all you israeli's are treating my baby like a queen !!!

ra_mom

Wed, Apr 01 2015, 1:08 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

I do as above but don't consider her a queen, I consider her a great help and friend of the family.