Hasidic woman has first kid at 65

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chani8

Wed, May 20 2015, 7:23 am

I told my 62yo DH about this story and he thought it was selfish of the parents. He gets comments all the time about being our daughter's grandfather, and he feels embarrassed for her.

Personally, I think, why not. Before science could help this woman, she was childless. Now science could help her. It obviously wasn't too late.

And about being an older parent, being called a grandparent, let those comments be the worst thing they have to deal with.

Debbie

Wed, May 20 2015, 7:25 am

esheschayil wrote:

It could have been frozen eggs from when she was younger.

Maybe,but I would have thought that there was a time limit on how long the eggs could be kept frozen before deteriorating, I admit to not knowing a whole lot about that though.

nylon

Wed, May 20 2015, 8:16 am

In order for her to have used her own, frozen eggs, she would have had to freeze them 25 years ago at a minimum (and realistically, when you do this today, they want you to be under 35). Egg freezing technology was not advanced enough for that to be possible. It's only become a really viable option in the past decade.

(My real interest here is not her. It is that people do not always understand the realities and limitations of assisted reproductive technologies.)

Chayalle

Wed, May 20 2015, 9:39 am

Devoirie wrote:

If it's wrong, then the woman can sue for slander.

What if it isn't wrong, but if the family considered it private info? Can they still sue?

If the family made the choice to share that info it's their right. I don't understand it at all, but different strokes for different folks.

Raisin

Wed, May 20 2015, 9:47 am

if this child is neither of theirs genetic material, I wonder why they didn't think of adopting 30 years ago?

I suppose it is possible they used an egg from a female relative though...

I don't think it is wrong or selfish of them however. Im sure this child will be well loved and taken care of.

Zehava

Wed, May 20 2015, 11:07 am

Well if your going to have a baby at an age that is just short of the world record then yeah chances are these things will be made public. Reporters are sharks and there's really not much anyone can do.

Sanguine

Wed, May 20 2015, 12:17 pm

When I posted this article I just thought WOW!! But now after 6 pages of discussion I was wondering is it really selfish of people in their 60's to have a baby?

So after thinking - You know what? Having children at any age is a selfish thing. You do it for yourself, not for the child. "all those eggs begging to be born, I better help them"

If you're having children for the Mitzva of Pru Urvu, Whose mitzva is it? The baby's? Nope - They're just like an Etrog. A tool for your mitzva.

People have kids for their own immortality. Or because they think a family is nice. Communities even have an average size family. And why are there threads about women who have only boys and just wish they would have a girl. (maybe the father is thinking the mitzva but the lady wants a girl to be close to).

So maybe I was selfish by having children. I love my kids and I give them everything I could, but maybe it was selfish to have them. There are people who could give more (better genes, things that more money can buy -braces Very Happy

, private tutors, membership at a gym...).

We all have children because we want to. A baby is like owning something. Yes, a child is later a lot of work and we give to them unselfishly. But who did you have children for? Maybe we're all selfish even if we're not 65.

JMM-uc

Wed, May 20 2015, 12:25 pm

Sanguine

Wed, May 20 2015, 12:36 pm

LOVE the picture (but her whole support group is in their 60's too Scratching Head

)

Zehava

Wed, May 20 2015, 12:51 pm

Maybe we're doing it for selfish reasons but we're doing it at an age that our maternal hormones are highest (between 20 and 40), and we have the energy to care for them.

Tablepoetry

Wed, May 20 2015, 1:14 pm

Sanguine, I totally agree. People have babies for selfish reasons. That's why it boggles my mind when they dismiss childless-by-choice couples as 'selfish'. Yes, they're selfish, but no more than you for having kids!!

That said, I do admit to having mixed feelings here. We are all selfish for wanting kids, but we still need to take into account what we can give.

Growing

Wed, May 20 2015, 2:05 pm

I wonder if the people in the photo would agree for it to be posted on here? Are there any rules about this?

Sanguine

Wed, May 20 2015, 2:50 pm

Tablepoetry wrote:

That said, I do admit to having mixed feelings here. We are all selfish for wanting kids, but we still need to take into account what we can give.

Looking at the picture that JMM posted, you know what I think - "These people" think different than me. Chareidim like this in Israel don't think of things like "Can we afford another child?" "Can we really fit 13 kids in a 2 room apartment?" "Do we have strength for another child?" Their Rav decides for them and their Rav gave her a bracha after she was 60. Any baby is a bracha. That woman doesn't consult with Imamother. I don't think people should have more children than they can afford or handle. I don't think kids should get married before they can support themselves. I don't think people should rely on food stamps from the start...

I have a long list of what I think but that doesn't matter. For this couple and their community and lifestyle, there's no question that this baby is just a bracha from Hashem, and Hashem will help them. They won't think about what may be in 15 years just like other couples in their community don't think if they cn afford another child.

I also do things that everyone doesn't approve of. Everyone does. So it really doesn't matter what we think about this couple.

Raisin

Wed, May 20 2015, 3:53 pm

Sanguine wrote:

LOVE the picture (but her whole support group is in their 60's too Scratching Head

)

nope, 3 of the women on the right look a lot younger.

mirror

Wed, May 20 2015, 5:01 pm

JMM-uc wrote:

I have close friends who are Chassidish. The good families with Yichus only want to marry into other Chassidish families with Yichus. Don't let their smiles fool you. These same Chassidish women will turn away when this boy turns 18 and starts Shidduchim.

finallyamommy

Wed, May 20 2015, 6:41 pm

Devoirie wrote:

Aaaaand...here comes the Chassidus-bashing :-(

GreenEyes26

Wed, May 20 2015, 6:46 pm

Sorry, looking at that picture and knowing that she's the MOTHER and not the GRANDMOTHER
[removed- what an awful thing to say]

Frumdoc

Wed, May 20 2015, 7:01 pm

GreenEyes26 wrote:

Sorry, looking at that picture and knowing that she's the MOTHER and not the GRANDMOTHER ....

Reading your comment made me "throw up in my mouth a little".

I suppose you are an impeccably perfect being who has never made a poor parenting choice or done anything to hurt anyone else in order to judge this lady as making you so disgusting you vomit. What a terrible thing to say about a fellow Jewish woman, no wonder Moshaich hasn't come.

All I see is huge beaming smiles on all of their faces and the love between them all. Must be a special shabbos and yomtov in that neck of the woods.

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