Hasidic woman has first kid at 65

Sanguine

Tue, May 19 2015, 7:26 am

grace413 wrote:

And yes Sanguine, the gan chairs; it was bad enough to sit on them in my late 40's.

Yeah, and the ganenet brings you the one big chair cause she assumes that you're someone's grandmother Rolling Eyes

I had my last child in my late 30's. When she went to first grade I was mid 40's. All the other mothers were 25 yo!! Every other girl was a first child.

PinkFridge

Tue, May 19 2015, 8:36 am

BatZion wrote:

oh ladies.
it was rather obvious that this thread would take this turn.
how about Mazal Tov, Baruch Hashem, so wonderful to hear, she/they must be overjoyed, nisei nisim, they should raise him to torah chupa u'ma'asim tovim and leave it at that?

See my post on p. 1. Great mind think alike Very Happy

pelle

Tue, May 19 2015, 9:32 am

Mazal Tov. How incredible!!!
Only H-shem knows who is young and who is old in this world. A twenty year old might have only 5 years left to live (G-D forbid) in not good health and a 65 year old might have 35 more years in good health. My mother in-law has more energy than me. She's just that type of person. Smile

If H-shem brought this baby into the world through her, thats HIS will and , who are we to make chesbonos?

Chayalle

Tue, May 19 2015, 9:52 am

Zehava wrote:

She is my grandmothers age and I have kids. Also, she did the treatment in Russia with donated sperm. Because it's illegal in Israel to treat a woman at this age. So biologically this man isn't even the baby's biological father. Maybe it was always his problem and they could never get a heter to use donated sperm.

THIS is why I hate discussions about how a child was conceived....no one has a problem with the way this child's privacy is being discussed by strangers?

moonstone

Tue, May 19 2015, 10:21 am

I have to say I'm a little surprised at the responses here. We were discussing this at work today, and all of us agreed this was a bad idea and rather selfish of the couple to have a baby when they are so old. Sure, things might be OK now, but how will the mother handle an active 5 year old when she's 70? At relatively young age, he's going to have to deal with issues related to his parents advanced ages. I don't think it's fair to do that to a teenager. And of course, he will lose his parents when he's still young. I know nothings certain in life, and health issues and other calamities can happen to any family, regardless of the parents ages, but to purposely try to have a baby at 65 seems wrong to me. And I don't think much of any doctor who helps a 65 yr old woman get pregnant.

finallyamommy

Tue, May 19 2015, 10:25 am

moonstone wrote:

Have you ever been in a position of having to wait years and years for children? I have, and I'm still waiting. And my four years is nothing on this woman's forty-something years. Don't judge until you've been there please.

Furthermore, not fair to do what, exactly? Conceive and birth him? He's already here, so what should they do?

zohar

Tue, May 19 2015, 10:35 am

moonstone wrote:

What if the mother was disabled or chronically I'll? Would you still tell such a woman that she was selfish to have a baby? Just like an ill woman would likely hire help, if this older mother doesn't have the energy, she can also hire a nanny and or housekeeper. I might feel simalrly to you if the woman just woke up now in her sixties and is like "hey, I think I want a baby." But this couple has obviously trying for decades. Why can't we all just be happy for them and the baby who I'm sure is going to be doted on and showered with love.

Raisin

Tue, May 19 2015, 10:49 am

Maybe we should sterlise all poor, stupid, mean, and sick people. They could have children too!

I think this is wonderful. I'm sure there will be challenges but I understand she has a large extended family who no doubt will help out and will be around later on.

Any woman who is healthy enough to carry a baby at 65 will probable live longer then average.

moonstone

Tue, May 19 2015, 11:54 am

esheschayil wrote:

I know what it's like to have trouble getting pregnant and to need fertility treatment to conceive. I know what it's like to long for a child. Doesn't change my opinion on having a baby at 65.

moonstone

Tue, May 19 2015, 12:01 pm

Raisin wrote:

I'll ignore your first sentence, which was unnecessarily mean and nasty, and not at all what I said, and ask you what makes you think she'll live longer just because she had a baby so late in life? What a random thing to say! In fact, you could argue that the stress this put on her body, plus the stress of raising a child at her age, will have the opposite effect. They should all live long, healthy lives! But I think that statement is ridiculous.

grace413

Tue, May 19 2015, 12:11 pm

Chayalle wrote:

THIS is why I hate discussions about how a child was conceived....no one has a problem with the way this child's privacy is being discussed by strangers?

I see your point. My question is, if the mother felt this way why did she agree to have the story published, with her name? I would think people would rather not have the publicity.

The other problem is that I get the impression (maybe I'm wrong) that people are assuming this happened naturally without medical intervention. I can't bear the idea of people experiencing infertility and thinking that they can avoid medical intervention and still have hope at an advanced age.

I wish them much nachas and mazel.

grace413

Tue, May 19 2015, 12:13 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

Moonstone, I appreciate what you're saying. What though, would you say is the cut off point? 45? 50? 55?

The law in Israel is that fertility treatments can't be done for women over age 54.

I believe there is also a lower age limit for doing IVF with a woman's own eggs as opposed to donor eggs.

SRS

Tue, May 19 2015, 12:16 pm

I have nothing to say to the couple except Mazal Tov on your baby.

But here is no reason to dismiss a serious discussion,which would be far more tasteful somewhere else, regarding medical ethics of reproductive assistance because it is an important topic too as it becomes more successful at older ages and changes the natural order of things. There is a lot of repercussions to consider in that arena.

morah

Tue, May 19 2015, 12:43 pm

moonstone wrote:

Actually, research has shown a correlation between having a baby later in life and living longer. They're not entirely sure why, but the theory is that if the body can sustain a pregnancy at an older age, that means the body is in general "younger" than it's chronological age, and thus slower to age in general. IOW, having the baby later is not what's adding years to your life, it's just the fact that your body is capable at an older age that means you are physically in better shape than the average person of that age.

MagentaYenta

Tue, May 19 2015, 12:51 pm

morah wrote:

"First, the women included in this study were already from families with a propensity to be unusually long-lived."...

http://www.forbes.com/sites/me.....says/

morah

Tue, May 19 2015, 1:00 pm

MagentaYenta wrote:

"First, the women included in this study were already from families with a propensity to be unusually long-lived."...

http://www.forbes.com/sites/me.....says/

Right, that doesn't contradict the theory. Longevity is mainly hereditary. Someone who comes from a family that is generally long lived is likely to have a body that is slower to age, and, among other things, would be more likely to safely sustain a pregnancy at an older age.

Frumdoc

Tue, May 19 2015, 2:22 pm

I've seen women who carried on having multiple children after being paralysed from waist down, and wheelchair bound, or are blind, or deaf, or have a short life expectancy.

Do people judge them for their choices and call them irresponsible? I guess you do, because you can't imagine a good parent being anything other than cookie cutter.