Summers in the country.

MagentaYenta

Mon, Jul 06 2015, 2:16 pm

Even when I lived in a Jewish community summers in bungalow colonies were not common. Some well to do members of the community may have owned a home in the mountains but the whole big schlep wasn't very common.

Now I understand that heat is a problem, I live without AC and two weeks of 95+ weather is a bit trying but I do have options. And I would guess that it isn't an option for mothers who work outside the home.

I'm curious how much it costs to rent in a colony and how women adapt to not seeing their husbands for a week. Is it more common for certain sects to do this?

Thanks in advance.

Fox

Mon, Jul 06 2015, 4:48 pm

GP2.0 is really GP4.0 on this.

There's a huge, fascinating history about the development of "the mountains" as a vacation spot for Jews of all backgrounds.

Remember, in the early- to mid-20th century, Jews were not permitted at many resorts. And, of course, most Jews at that time could not afford high-priced getaways.

Catskill Mountain camps were also one of the biggest priorities for the early Agudath Israel organization in the U.S. Reb Elimelech (Mike) Tress saw that Jewish kids even from highly-observant families were often left to their own devices during the summer, ending up "on the street" or pursuing all kinds of pastimes that undid the work of their day schools and yeshivos.

As a Midwesterner, I find the concept of *any* mountains to be strange enough, let alone mountains high enough to affect the temperature!

My favorite "memory," though, is a scene from Woody Allen's "Radio Days": Aunt Bea, the protagonist's perpetually-single aunt, is asking her sister, Tess (played by Julie Kavner), for advice about going to the mountains versus on a cruise.

"There are more men in the mountains, but the men on cruises are richer," Bea reflects.

Her sister, Tess, responds, "Well, I met my husband at a mountain resort, so I recommend a cruise."

mha3484

Mon, Jul 06 2015, 4:59 pm

Fox, my family has been in Chicago for many many many generations. It is very much a thing to go to the country. Wisconsin, Michigan and Indiana are very popular summer destinations. It is very different than a bungalow colony. Each house is distinct with loads of privacy and boundaries. Its not just a New York thing.

Raisin

Mon, Jul 06 2015, 5:00 pm

Funny how each country has its own summer minhagim. In the UK almost everyone goes on a 2 week summer holiday right after tisha b'av. (nobody would dream of going on vacation during the three weeks) People have slightly more generous vacation time so the men go too.

More well off people go to Spain or France or Israel, less well off go to Wales or other parts of the UK.

My parents still do this every year, even though all the kids have grown up. (sometimes married kids and grandchildren join them)

alittlebirdie

Mon, Jul 06 2015, 5:01 pm

My best childhood memories are from spending summers in the bungalow colony. Mmy father worked all week in the city and came upfor shabbsm. I once read that sarah shenirer used to take her girls to the mountains for vacation.

amother

Cyan

Mon, Jul 06 2015, 5:09 pm

Where I'm from, families went down the shore. Ventnor and Margate were, and are, the Jewish shore.

My family never went, but my mother (a"h) did when she was a little girl, in the 40s and 50s.

My husband's family went to the Catskills in the 60s and 70s. It was definitely not a "rich person" thing in those days.

I think the Catskills became more of a Charedi thing when more women started working.

In any case, I don't "get" it. As Mom (a"h) used to say of the shore, "Let me get this straight. I have the kids all week. I have to take them to the beach, look after them, and still cook and clean and do the laundry. While you go out to dinner or eat take out every night, and bring me your laundry on Sunday. Just who is this supposed to be a vacation for?"

ETA, and at least the places down the shore were nice. I've seen those bungalows. No thanks.

mommy3b2c

Mon, Jul 06 2015, 5:09 pm

we bought a house upstate, so although the first year it was expensive, now it's free! My husband comes up thursday night and leaves monday morning, so it's a total of two full days that I don't see him. Often he stays for the week or comes up in the middle of the week. I can't say I really miss him. It's actually pretty relaxing. Less pressure to cook dinners and clean up. We love it up there!

Fox

Mon, Jul 06 2015, 5:09 pm

mha3484 wrote:

No, I didn't mean that no one else goes on summer trips out of the city. Just that the Midwest never had the extensive "borsht belt" of the Catskills. It gets slightly cooler near the lake, but not the degree of difference between NYC and the Catskills.

My kids will jump at any half-hearted invitation to go to South Haven, but the drive is just too long for me. More than 90 minutes of driving and I'll stay home! I keep thinking, "Why couldn't they have set this up near Lake Geneva?"

Of course, one of my DDs is friends with a group that goes to Deal. Nothing in common with the Catskills, South Haven, Lake Geneva, or from some accounts, the Hamptons!

Last edited by Fox on Mon, Jul 06 2015, 5:12 pm; edited 1 time in total

Notsobusy

Mon, Jul 06 2015, 5:12 pm

Some of my best childhood memories are also from the bungalow colony. My father was in chinuch and had a job in a camp in the summer, so we didn't have the husband away all week issue. As an adult I think I would hate being in a bungalow colony, but I feel terrible that my kids won't ever experience those magical summers that we had as kids.

Fox

Mon, Jul 06 2015, 5:15 pm

mha3484 wrote:

You sound like DH. We went on Friday to see my grandparents its 1 1/2 to two hours away and he was complaining about the shlep and the tolls.

Lol, that's me!

A few months ago, someone asked about stopping points and attractions on the trip from Lakewood to Chicago.

Since I had nothing useful to say, I didn't respond.

But it was all I could do to keep from writing, "The only appropriate stop between Lakewood and Chicago is the Newark Airport, where you should park your car and board a plane to O'Hare. Consider it an attraction if the plane is on time."

Notsobusy

Mon, Jul 06 2015, 5:17 pm

amother wrote:

In any case, I don't "get" it. As Mom (a"h) used to say of the shore, "Let me get this straight. I have the kids all week. I have to take them to the beach, look after them, and still cook and clean and do the laundry. While you go out to dinner or eat take out every night, and bring me your laundry on Sunday. Just who is this supposed to be a vacation for?"

ETA, and at least the places down the shore were nice. I've seen those bungalows. No thanks.

In the bungalow colonies the kids are usually in day camp for hours each day, then they (at least the bigger kids) can hang out at the pool without the mother. She can also just sit in a chair and schmooze while her kids play nearby. Thursday night is always pizza night, Sunday usually a barbecue, and in between there's a lot of pasta. Except for laundry and some cleaning, the mothers don't work too hard.

It's not like at the beach where you pretty much have to watch your kids the whole time. You're right about the dumpy bungalows, that's what we grew up with, but we really didn't notice. Today they seem to be much nicer, at least the ones I've visited.

mha3484

Mon, Jul 06 2015, 5:19 pm

I wonder. My grandparents have a summer home as well as many of their friends. Most go for the weekend and came home. What is the purpose to stay all week? When my mother was growing up it was more common for people living in the city to stay during the week but things have changed in the past 50 plus years.

mille

Mon, Jul 06 2015, 5:20 pm

I'm not sure if it's more common in certain sects, but I will say that my husband's very very MO family has been going upstate for years and years. His grandparents' generation would do it as you described, where the wife and kids stay upstate all summer and husband comes up just for Shabbat, but that shifted with his parents' generation, as it was just less common for women to NOT work or to work only in schools and other jobs with summers off. Some women in his parents' generation did still go upstate. Now, in our generation, no one really goes up all summer. That said, even in our generation, plenty of us go up for Shabbat quite often, and my in-laws go up very frequently as well.

And as for other sects, to get to our MO bungalow colony, we pass an epic TON of other colonies that have a wide range. We actually enjoy pointing out the differences to ourselves when we drive through the country to our colony. Smile

There are a LOT of chasidish colonies, but also more right wing MO, some yeshivish, etc. There's a big mix, and that's not even including all the camps in upstate NY.

I've been going upstate for weekends over quite a number of summers now, and I totally see the appeal. It's wonderful and relaxing. The colony is a fairly safe environment where kids can run around in the middle between all the bungalows, and everyone is just relaxed. It's lovely!

amother

Cerulean

Mon, Jul 06 2015, 5:28 pm

My DH grew up in Pittsburgh in late 1970s, not necessarily frum by our standard but traditional. His parents would drive to Atlantic City or Jersey shore very early on Sunday, they would rent a bungalow, his dad would stay for a day or two then drove back to Pittsburgh because he had work. DH can't remember but he thinks his dad drove on Friday to spend Shabbos.

I think it's maybe not so practical these days when women work outside the house.

PinkFridge

Tue, Jul 07 2015, 10:55 am

princessleah wrote:

Is it cheaper to go upstate than to just stay home and send your kids to day camp? Why is that not an option?

(I hit report before reply. I don't think it went through but now you'll know if it did. Sorry!)
My understanding is that in the city, there's then the problem of what to do after because it's not easy/safe to let kids play outside. Living OOT, I can understand the why, to a degree. And for families where the husband can come more often or even find summer employment so he's with the family all the time, it's not a bad set-up at all. I kind of envied it, until I heard about the post Tisha b'Av washing machine goral. By now most people have their own machines but the thought of having to wait a few days to use a bungalow washing machine, and Laundromats being backed up for miles around....no, thank you.

Lani22

Tue, Jul 07 2015, 10:55 am

princessleah wrote:

Is it cheaper to go upstate than to just stay home and send your kids to day camp? Why is that not an option?

it is cheaper if you are not renting a bungalow/house. Rent is anywhere BTW 5k-12k for the season. Of course if you own a place then that's great. I am at a MO type of colony (my inlaws own the house I stay rent free for the month). Day camp for my 4 yr and 6yr old was $1050 for the month of july. I will be in nyc for august and camp cost $3800 for the month of august! My husband comes up either Thursday night or Friday afternoon and leaves Monday morning. Honestly it's a nice little break. I don't have to make a real dinner every night... and I actually look forward to seeing him when he comes up Smile

my kids have a blast swimming, playing outside till its dark... and it's super relaxing for me.

MagentaYenta

Tue, Jul 07 2015, 12:44 pm

amother wrote:

We had a home at the shore. But rented it out most of the summer, and only spent the month of my Father's vacation down there. It was in a mixed area with all sorts of working class folks.