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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
Who gets the shadchonus gelt?



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amother
Navy


 

Post Thu, Jul 14 2016, 9:10 am
Here's the scenario: Bocher A has a pal Bocher B and a relative or family friend Kallahmaud who he thinks may be a good match for Bocher B. He tells his mom who asks Mr. or Ms. Shadchan to get in touch with the family of Bocher B to suggest the shidduch and forward Kallahmaud's resume to them. In the event that Bocher B and Kallahmaud make a go of it, does Bocher A get part of the shadchonus, or does it all go to Mr. or Ms. Shadchan?
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cnc




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 14 2016, 9:14 am
The one who suggested the name - gets a share.
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Ahuvah2




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 14 2016, 10:14 am
It's best to agree money before giving the Shadchan the idea.
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doctorima




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 24 2016, 12:22 pm
I think I once learned that the one who comes up with the idea gets 1/3, and the shadchan gets 2/3, unless there's a local minhag otherwise.
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sleepybeauty




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 24 2016, 12:23 pm
doctorima wrote:
I think I once learned that the one who comes up with the idea gets 1/3, and the shadchan gets 2/3, unless there's a local minhag otherwise.

I've heard this as well
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amother
Plum


 

Post Sun, Jul 24 2016, 12:29 pm
amother wrote:
Here's the scenario: Bocher A has a pal Bocher B and a relative or family friend Kallahmaud who he thinks may be a good match for Bocher B. He tells his mom who asks Mr. or Ms. Shadchan to get in touch with the family of Bocher B to suggest the shidduch and forward Kallahmaud's resume to them. In the event that Bocher B and Kallahmaud make a go of it, does Bocher A get part of the shadchonus, or does it all go to Mr. or Ms. Shadchan?

The bachor gets one third and the shadchon gets two thirds.
Sometimes people will pay the shadchon the full amount that they'd usually pay a shadchon and then give the person with the idea half of the amount that they gave the shadchon, so that it ends up being 2/3rds and 1/3rd, but overall amount is higher.
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Jeanette




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 24 2016, 12:46 pm
Ahuvah2 wrote:
It's best to agree money before giving the Shadchan the idea.


For real? You wouldn't suggest a shidduch for a friend without ascertaining first how much you were getting paid?
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