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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
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amother
Navy
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 Thu, Jul 14 2016, 9:10 am
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Here's the scenario: Bocher A has a pal Bocher B and a relative or family friend Kallahmaud who he thinks may be a good match for Bocher B. He tells his mom who asks Mr. or Ms. Shadchan to get in touch with the family of Bocher B to suggest the shidduch and forward Kallahmaud's resume to them. In the event that Bocher B and Kallahmaud make a go of it, does Bocher A get part of the shadchonus, or does it all go to Mr. or Ms. Shadchan?
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cnc
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Thu, Jul 14 2016, 9:14 am
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The one who suggested the name - gets a share.
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Ahuvah2
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Thu, Jul 14 2016, 10:14 am
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It's best to agree money before giving the Shadchan the idea.
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doctorima
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Sun, Jul 24 2016, 12:22 pm
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I think I once learned that the one who comes up with the idea gets 1/3, and the shadchan gets 2/3, unless there's a local minhag otherwise.
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sleepybeauty
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Sun, Jul 24 2016, 12:23 pm
| doctorima wrote: | | I think I once learned that the one who comes up with the idea gets 1/3, and the shadchan gets 2/3, unless there's a local minhag otherwise. |
I've heard this as well
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amother
Plum
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Sun, Jul 24 2016, 12:29 pm
| amother wrote: | | Here's the scenario: Bocher A has a pal Bocher B and a relative or family friend Kallahmaud who he thinks may be a good match for Bocher B. He tells his mom who asks Mr. or Ms. Shadchan to get in touch with the family of Bocher B to suggest the shidduch and forward Kallahmaud's resume to them. In the event that Bocher B and Kallahmaud make a go of it, does Bocher A get part of the shadchonus, or does it all go to Mr. or Ms. Shadchan? |
The bachor gets one third and the shadchon gets two thirds.
Sometimes people will pay the shadchon the full amount that they'd usually pay a shadchon and then give the person with the idea half of the amount that they gave the shadchon, so that it ends up being 2/3rds and 1/3rd, but overall amount is higher.
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Jeanette
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Sun, Jul 24 2016, 12:46 pm
| Ahuvah2 wrote: | | It's best to agree money before giving the Shadchan the idea. |
For real? You wouldn't suggest a shidduch for a friend without ascertaining first how much you were getting paid?
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