lady has first child at 60

myself

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 6:18 am

Wow, toxemia is no joke. I'm glad they're both okay. I hope the mother lives a long healthy life so she can raise her daughter and see nachas.

miami85

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 10:13 am

It's wonderful for the mother. However, as the product of a pregnancy of an "older" woman, I feel bad for the child.

Shuly

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 10:23 am

Seems the baby saved the mother's life as they found a malignant tumor in the mother's uterus when they did the c-section!

ariellabella

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 10:25 am

miami85 wrote:

It's wonderful for the mother. However, as the product of a pregnancy of an "older" woman, I feel bad for the child.

I don't understand your comment. How old was your mother? Are you saying it would be better if you had never been born?

UnFarvosNischt

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 10:56 am

ariellabella wrote:

I don't understand your comment. How old was your mother? Are you saying it would be better if you had never been born?

I'm not miami85 but I can also tell you that this situation (being the (first or not) baby of old parents/mom) brings challenges that are not at all encountered with younger parents.
Of course no one regrets being born nor be resentful over his parents but it can be very hard.

miami85

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 11:35 am

ariellabella wrote:

I don't understand your comment. How old was your mother? Are you saying it would be better if you had never been born?

That is G-d's calculation, my mother was almost 50. To be honest, sometimes it does feel that way. It's a challenging LIFE watching your older parents suffer--aches and pains, illness, mental decline, taking care of them, not having a close relationship, death of a parent at a young age etc.

Is it a beautiful thing for the parent to have a legacy? Undoubtedly.

However, I wish the child--especially since likely it will be an only child a lot of strength, both physical and emotional.

gp2.0

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 11:41 am

Didn't read the article but whenever I hear these stories I think of how selfish it is to have a baby at that age. She's basically okay with the fact that her child will probably be an orphan at a very young age and will be raised by someone else.

I get the opposing arguments: that some people are desperate, they have good intentions, life is always a precious thing, there are no guarantees any of us will live to see tomorrow, having kids is always selfish, etc.

But I still think having a baby at 60 is wrong.

Chayalle

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 11:45 am

When the child has siblings, at least the burden of the older parents when they are still young won't be theirs alone to carry. My youngest sister was born when my mother A"H was 42, and she was only 8 when my mother was first diagnosed with the illness that eventually took her life...but she had 6 older sisters to care for her and be with my father, etc...

An only child with parents in their 60's could wind up being really tough. There's a reason why Hashem set the nature of the world up such that fertility declines at a certain age....

Simple1

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 1:21 pm

Gp, you definitely have a point, but many people live past their 80s in good enough health, so let's not assume someone else has to raise the child. Just she'll probably need lots of help.

ectomorph

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 1:34 pm

I would do it.
Doesn't it say in koheles to. Have children later in life too, since you don't know which will turn out well

Chayalle

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 1:36 pm

ectomorph wrote:

I would do it.
Doesn't it say in koheles to. Have children later in life too, since you don't know which will turn out well

Baboker Zra Zarecha UbaErev Al Tanach Yadcha.

However I believe this is talking to a man, not to a woman. (this is likely to open a nuther can of worms.....)

glamourmom

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 1:44 pm

ladies, let's not forget that the same Hashem that makes child-bearing less possible as years go on, is the One that brought this child into the world. the parents needed to have this child and the child needed to be here.

this is not to say that there won't be challenges for all involved.

greenfire

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 1:46 pm

there's been a few of those in the past couple of years ...

don't know if I'd like to be walking with a cane while teaching my baby how to walk ... not so lol

glamourmom

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 1:57 pm

greenfire wrote:

there's been a few of those in the past couple of years ...

don't know if I'd like to be walking with a cane while teaching my baby how to walk ... not so lol

ITA. but can you say this was a "mistake" or "not worth it" Chv?

if it's not a struggle you or I can handle then Hashem won't give it to us. BH He hasn't. besides, I can't see this child saying, 20 yrs from now, "my parents are so elderly and I do so much for them and I don't want to, I wish I wasn't born" unless there are other bigger issues there.

and we all know of children with young parents that do say the above.

shabbatiscoming

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 2:57 pm

I wonder what fertility wise finally worked after so many years that had not worked before?

grace413

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 3:02 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

I wonder what fertility wise finally worked after so many years that had not worked before?

Probably donor eggs.

Raisin

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 3:03 pm

well, women have always been able to have children till 45 or 50 even when lifespans were much shorter. In fact there was a good chance of women not surviving childbirth until recently.

Having said that, I do hope this mother and her husband live a long healthy life and also have an extended family.