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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Preschoolers
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amother
Lavender
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 Sat, Oct 01 2016, 9:25 pm
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My 5 yr old son is scared he's dying and I can't convince him otherwise. I'm not sure exactly how he understands death. I don't think he realizes it's permanent. When his tummy makes a noise or he notices a freckle... in the past few days it's escalated and is often all he can talk about. His eyes get big and watery and he's so sad and scared cuz he won't be with me anymore. Dunno how to comfort or reassure him. Or how to deal with his anxiety in general. I'm waiting on a social worker so he can start counseling
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amother
Mauve
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Sat, Oct 01 2016, 9:29 pm
I'd start with holding him and saying, "honey, you are safe. I am watching over you. I love you." When he is calm, ask him where he heard about death, what he thinks dying means. You can tell him "every one dies eventually, but our job is to have a good time in this world, enjoy our friends and family, and do mitzvos. You don't have to worry about death because most people die when they are very very old."
I am happy to hear you are going to a social worker, that is great.
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OutATowner
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Sat, Oct 01 2016, 10:20 pm
Is this recent?
Some teachers talk about RH a little too deeply, and say that on RH Hashem decides who will live and who will die. It might have been said in passing but some kids are more sensitive.
Ask him what it means and where he learned about it. Like the above poster said, mention it's something that happens to everyone usually when they are very old.
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Mrs. Sunshine
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Sat, Oct 01 2016, 10:54 pm
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Oy my heart goes out to this child. I agree that some teachers say things in passing and don't realize there are kids who are actually taking in everything literally. Death is scary for everyone, so people just don't think about it or try to understand it. I think counseling is vital. For now I would try to distract him with other conversations
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