Early Shabbosos- HELP!

amother

Aquamarine

Sun, Nov 27 2016, 6:53 pm

pause wrote:

FYI: you know you can buy cut toilet paper?

Can anyone do anything anymore???
It's one thing to use tissues. It doesn't take much time to cut toilet paper.
Why spend so much money for cut toilet paper?

thunderstorm

Sun, Nov 27 2016, 7:03 pm

cbg wrote:

OH -I forgot the MOST important thing.
No matter what
On Friday morning I daven.
I add in my davening for Hashem to help me be calm and ready for Shabbat early.

Wow! Kol hakavod to you!!

Lady Bug

Sun, Nov 27 2016, 7:22 pm

If I want to get to shabbos calmly, then I prepare everything, even the candles, on Thursday night. Baths for kids Thursday night or Friday morning, shower as soon as kids go to school. Put the chulent in crock pot in the morning and get dressed, makeup for shabbos. When kids get home, I dress them in shabbos clothes and leave the house immediately so there's no mess. We do Bobby visits, sometimes something fun, a park if the weather is nice. We come home half hour before zman to a clean house ready for shabbos, warm up the shabbos food and light candles.

debsey

Sun, Nov 27 2016, 7:51 pm

All I can say is, your freezer is your friend. Literally the only thing that does not come out of my freezer for shabbos is chulent, and even that - I premeasure my beans and barley in jars so it takes a second to take them out, check them, and chuck them in the chulent.

I do work Fridays, and I do have cleaning help, so it's a little different. Still, I feel that friday afternoon, being on top of shabbos jobs is my investment in the future. First of all, it cuts down on bored kids making a mess, and second of all, it gets them in the habit of helping. If I would be cooking then, I wouldn't be able to supervise shabbos jobs, which for little kids, are sometimes a pain in the neck to supervise.

SixOfWands

Sun, Nov 27 2016, 8:09 pm

No one else is picking up on the husband?

Assign him specific tasks that he will do every week. He may ask questions the first few times, but pretty soon, he'll own the tasks, and do them without prodding.

yksraya

Sun, Nov 27 2016, 8:10 pm

amother wrote:

Can anyone do anything anymore???
It's one thing to use tissues. It doesn't take much time to cut toilet paper.
Why spend so much money for cut toilet paper?

A pack of cut toilet paper is $.89-$.99!!!!
And it's actually the safest for septic tanks. (Septic cleaning guy told us so)

yksraya

Sun, Nov 27 2016, 8:12 pm

Op can your dh take the kids out for an hr or so to free you up a bit? Maybe house work is not his strong point, but entertaining the kids so that you can calmly finish everything and take a bath/shower, can be just what you need.

flowerpower

Sun, Nov 27 2016, 8:30 pm

My house is ready for shabbos completely Thursday night. The tables are set. The candles are already in the leichter.....the laundry is done... House is washed... Friday I just make kugal, cholent, and ferfel. Then I have the 2 hours until the school age kids come home to relax. When the kids come home lunch is already prepared for them. They take out their shabbos sheets and put away their bookbags. We do baths calmly and relax. Dh comes home by the zman. The key is to have minimal stuff to do on Fridays. Give each kid a job that they have to do errv shabbos-one on their level. Let them be involved too.

seeker

Sun, Nov 27 2016, 11:09 pm

pause wrote:

FYI: you know you can buy cut toilet paper?

Yes but:
1. no idea what it costs
2. from what I've seen it's the scratchy single-ply type
3. I want my kids to learn how to help out, I'm not willing to go very far out of my way to make up some task that they can artificially help with, so here's a really easy one that is legitimately helpful. They ask for bigger jobs like sweeping but when I let them, it's more aggravation than it's worth. So for now our jobs (2 kids, 4 & 6) are tearing the toilet paper and helping set the table. They both need to help with toys cleanup if needed but that's more standard than Shabbos. They both "help" light the candles because they both want to.
Very open to other practical suggestions of how kids this age help for Shabbos. Our mitzvah notes are getting redundant Wink

amother

Bronze

Sun, Nov 27 2016, 11:26 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

It works out better for me that the way he helps is by getting me a maid.

amother

Bronze

Sun, Nov 27 2016, 11:32 pm

The six year old can help you in the kitchen.
A six year old can be your gofer.
Go for this and go for that.
She can get you things from the fridge and pantry.
This is how they start to help in the kitchen.
And by the time they are 10, 11 they know how to cook from watching you.

seeker

Sun, Nov 27 2016, 11:44 pm

We do cooking together sometimes but as fun stuff, not as Shabbos because there is just too much going on to get ready for Shabbos. Except in the summer, when it's more relaxed, they help with challah or cake or stuff. I am mostly cooking Shabbos Thursday after they go to sleep.

pause

Mon, Nov 28 2016, 10:09 am

Lady Bug wrote:

You or your kids don't need to eat? Lunch, toamehu? That's what usually throws me off when going out of the house on Friday.

lfab

Mon, Nov 28 2016, 12:50 pm

My rule on short Fridays is that if it's not done Thursday night then it just doesn't get done. But, I work on Fridays and don't get home until about 3:20/3:25. I cook everything on Thursday night and do a quick wipe down of the kitchen after. Kids are bathed Thursday night and I shower Friday morning before going to work. On Friday afternoon, after kids come home from school, DH is responsible for feeding them lunch, mopping floors in kitchen/dining room, and cleaning bathrooms. He also puts up the hot water and sets any timers. When I get home he jumps into the shower, I change into shabbos clothes and by then it's usually time to light candles. I do any other deep cleaning/household tasks on Sunday. While it's nice to go into shabbos with everything spotless and perfect there's just no way for it to happen when shabbos starts so early. Don't know what I would do if DH had to work on Friday too.

amother

Gold

Mon, Nov 28 2016, 2:33 pm

I used to be this insane harried mother snapping at my kids while frantically trying to make my house and food perfect for Shabbos so that the "good malach" will say wow! it should be like this every week. Anyone else remember that story of the two malachim that come to every Jewish home?! Until my kids told me they hated Fridays and I realized that its all such nonsense.

If there are toys around, who cares. If there is laundry in baskets? big deal. If the floor is sticky, so what. I clean, cook, and do laundry and all household tasks on sunday through Thursday. Come Friday, the work is minimal, whatever food has to be fresh is done and I wipe down the counters.

I don't sweep, I don't scrub, I don't vacuum, I don't do laundry.

The kids help and also get to sit around on Fridays relaxing and just playing with each other now. Even the past 2 weeks with the short shabbosim!

If I clean somewhat all week, its not completely awful on Friday. If there's a huge sticky spill obviously I'd clean it. But the small things, nah. it'll wait for sunday. Let it go! Everyone's a lot happier this way.

amother

Bronze

Mon, Nov 28 2016, 2:41 pm

amother wrote:

They only look for 4 things the beds are made, the table is set, the candles are lit, and there's peace in the home. Last one most important.

Lady Bug

Mon, Nov 28 2016, 2:51 pm

pause wrote:

You or your kids don't need to eat? Lunch, toamehu? That's what usually throws me off when going out of the house on Friday.

quick pizza lunch right when they come home and chulent when we get back, while I warm up the rest of the food.

pesek zman

Mon, Nov 28 2016, 2:52 pm

amother wrote:

They only look for 4 things the beds are made, the table is set, the candles are lit, and there's peace in the home. Last one most important.

Malachim come to the House on Shabbos?

Never heard this. Ever.

(What schools teach this. Fascinating)

debsey

Mon, Nov 28 2016, 2:59 pm

pesek zman wrote:

Malachim come to the House on Shabbos?

Never heard this. Ever.

(What schools teach this. Fascinating)

Does your husband sing "Sholom Aleichem?" You never heard that two malachim accompany men home from shul on shabbos? In the aggadatah there's the explanation of sholom aleichem that two malachim accompany fathers home from shul - Rabbi Yossi ben Yehudah says that we change our language referring to the malachim (malachei hashares vs. malachei hashalom) because there is a good angel who says - "May it be Your will that the house is always this peaceful" and the prosecuting angel has to say Amen. and if the angels come and the house is flying there is a prosecuting angel that says "May it be Your will that this house is always disharmonious" and the good angel has to say Amen.

That's the source, and I probably learned it simplistically as a kindergartener and in more depth in high school and seminary. I'm fairly sure every Bais Yaakov teaches this, and I imagine chassidish schools do as well.

amother

Azure

Thu, Dec 01 2016, 10:10 pm

OP here. You all gave me great ideas. Here is what we are implementing for now:

1. Daven friday morning. (loved this one!)
2. Consider light bentchen time to be an hour earlier than it is.
3. LR/DR neat and table set Thursday night
4. No playing outside of playroom Friday.
5. Jobs for kids:
• Gathering a- garbage b-dirty laundry c-toys d-muktza objects that are out of place. (4 separate jobs)
• Make beds
• Put away dry dishes
• Set table
6. Shower/makeup Friday MORNING

Looking forward! Wishing all of us siyata dismay, calm fridays and beautiful shabbosos!