How much $ do you tip Rebbi for purim

amother

Turquoise

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 4:24 am

amother wrote:

As a morah in Lakewood I have to say so much of this depends on your financial ability. Morahs are usually pretty aware of the situation and truly appreciate everything they get. I've gotten checks for over $100, checks for $20.00 and gifts worth $9.99 - all tremendously appreciated. The main point is the card - they should be heartfully written. They go such a long way to giving your child's teacher a much needed (at this point in the year) boost.

I will add though that Lakewood, as a town, seems to really take the concept of showing hakaras hatov to teachers very seriously and I think that is a beautiful thing. Ever since starting to teach her, I've gotten smaller, plainer mishloach manos and nicer gifts/money. It makes more sense and means so much.

So thank you to all the moms who realize how much we put into your children. It's our pleasure, but everything you do to show your appreciation goes a very, very long way!

We give our MM to all the teachers along with a warm personal card of thanks.
Each child has around 5 teachers and therapists so just giving $20 to each one would set us back another couple of hundred dollars. It's not something we can start with.
As it is we're trying to manage the tuition payments.

amother

Salmon

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 6:13 am

I agree that this is so cultural. Growing up in America we never did this but here in Israel it's very much a given for the Rebbis. My son's previous cheder was known to be a poor place in a poor neighborhood and we were told 100 shekel is standard. Now that we've switched to a different school, I was told standard is 300-400 shekel so it very much seems to depends on the neighborhood, the parent body, etc.

As for tuition covering enough for the Rebbi, my husband works in an American post high school yeshiva here in Israel so tuition is actually quite high. He hasn't been paid in 5 months. Rebbi tips aren't done in these kind of places but I'm just saying you never know how well or badly your son's rebbi is being paid.

amother

Salmon

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 7:11 am

amother wrote:

While I agree with the concept of showing appreciation to teachers I can't wrap my head around the fact that certain schools have specific expectations of what a gift should be. And that's on top of tuition shock

The school doesn't have specific expectations. If it's the sort of school or community where this is standard, you don't want to give much less or much more then other parents, so you ask the other parents what they've typically done in the past. It's not like anyone is calling the administration to ask what's demanded of them. You can very well give nothing if you please.

amother

Jade

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 7:40 am

Ne, I don't ask any parents, I don't care what they do. I look at my pocket and do what I know is important. I have a difficult child and the energy that's being put into this child is immense. I myself have a hard time so I can imagine how challenging it's for the school staff. Bh this child gets a lot of help. Even so it's imperative to write a note of thanks and some money to show that he deserves it. I comes from my heart.

I got a comment from dss rebbe on the note I wrote of appreciation and he said to my dh ' you didn't write it'? Like he knew it came directly from me. And the warm thanks I got was something I'll remember for a long time.

I am not defending myself just explaining.

Every person should do what is important in their situation.

Simple1

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 8:12 am

amother wrote:

It's not the schools that have expectations. It's some of the teachers.

Personally I think they should appreciate the gifts they do get and not ketch about those who didn't meet their expectations or left out the note, how dare they! Etc.

Edit: I don't mean to put down teachers, I will assume that most have a good attitude.

amother

Dodgerblue

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 8:35 am

amother wrote:

Do you tip waiters? Or just draw a card for them?

Waiters are tipped a couple coins, and they are not an intellectual profession. Also "tip" means it's not mandatory. NYers need to learn to say NO to crazy schools instead of defending the abuse as if they were proud of sacrificing everything...

amother

Black

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 9:16 am

sky wrote:

I don't think its just a boy thing.

I give my kids pre-school teachers and girl's teachers and boys English teachers as well. And therapists. It does add up. I don't give principals - but I do give a bottle of wine.

Sky, how much is appropriate for teachers? Some are full-day like playgroup, others are 1-2 hrs.
This year we have, bh, 12 teachers altogether, not counting the rebbis.

We also give wine +chocolate to the principals.

amother

Honeydew

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 9:33 am

I'm giving all teachers a 25$ gift card that can be used at several local shopping malls (12 teachers - each one teaches my child 2-3 hours/day). The teachers are all relatively young (many are single girls). My two sons Rebbi's are middle aged fathers of large families. We know that they are struggling and use this opportunity to help them out a little without making it feel like tzeddakah. We are giving each one 200$.

Laughing Bag!

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 10:03 am

Where I was growing up Tips were given to Rebbis as a given I believe from about 40$ and up and teachers got too but it wasn't necessarily the custom. Where I live now Its accepted to give everyone therapists, bus drivers, bus teachers, assistants...... They expect it to a certain extent and I cant blame them. As a former teacher myself I know how hard it can be and getting that extra token of appreciation is very welcome. Regarding the Rebbi I find it much more important since I believe teaching and controlling a class full of boys is way more challenging. As much as they get paid I believe its still underpaid for the actual work they put in.
We consider tips to be part of the YT expense, I tip according to how much I can afford per person, if its the Rebbi, teacher, assistant, bus driver or what not, I give between 10-100$. (The rebbi will get something between 50-100). Since I only have one son at this point I believe he gets more than if I'd have more boys, however my DH believes in tipping more than once throughout the year as well so I'm not sure how much he actually gives each time. I leave that up to him to decide. Yes at the end of the game its a lot of money but I believe it's worth it.

harriet

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 10:28 am

Laughing Bag! wrote:

So by that reasoning, I assume you give the women who teach your son's afternoon class the same amount (or more)? They have to teach and control the same class full of boys and also typically get paid less than the Rebbe.

Laughing Bag!

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 10:41 am

harriet wrote:

My sons yeshiva doesnt have women teach the boys above nursery and yes his English teacher who is btw there for all of 1.5hrs 4x a week will get the equivalent.

amother

Green

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 10:48 am

harriet wrote:

I tip the female AND male English teachers less - but the same as each other - my boys have both. (its not a male vs female issue at all)
The rebbe teaches 4 - 5 hrs per day. English teacher about 3 hrs per day.
The rebbe teaches Sunday - Friday. The English teacher Monday - Thursday and every other Sunday. The rebbe serves lunch and interacts with the boys during 2 recesses.
When I have an issue with friends, social etc I call the rebbe. I talk to the rebbe much more often then the English teacher.

I have the utmost respect for the English teachers - I just feel the rebbe is the main teacher and much more involved. Based on the amount of time they spend with my children the tip is about relative.

amother

Rose

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 11:54 pm

I am am in Lakewood and am giving $18 to assistants and one tutor who works very well with my toughest kid. $36 for teachers (girls teachers and boys English teachers) and $100 to the Rebbi who I think is doing an incredible job with my son. If I had more kids, or were in less of a position to do this I wouldn't feel pressured to give these amounts. All in all it comes to around $350 for my small family. I am SO happy to do it. I know the teachers appreciate it ( I used to teach myself) and I hope the note accompanying the check will convey my deep appreciation for all their hard work.

Teachers -- you are the BEST!
You work in a hard position, where you put your full energy into the kids, and we all know the compensation is not the greatest!
I am so happy I am able to tip.

amother

Firebrick

Fri, Mar 10 2017, 5:25 am

amother wrote:

I really dislike this making of cheshbonos about who needs the money more. Rolling Eyes

Single girls might be saving the money they earn for wedding expenses or for a downpayment on a house. Young married women also need the money. When I was a young married teacher I was literally counting pennies to buy my food. (because I was woefully underpaid by the school I worked for)

If your daughter happened to have a woman teacher who was a single mother supporting her kids single handedly would you tip her more?

If your son's rebbe was from a very wealthy family and you knew he got a lot of family support would you still tip him?

I definitely think teachers and rebbe's deserve tips, (although I do think it is a tiny bit demeaning), but not differing depending on gender. Maybe differing depending on time spent teaching my kid.

Women are also supporting their families, as much or more then men.

amother

Olive

Fri, Mar 10 2017, 9:37 am

Chanuka, we gave 100 to one rebbe and 120 to another (very good) rebbe.
Teachers I gave 40 for the main teacher and 20 for the assistant.

Now again for Purim we're going to do about the same.

DH works in a field where he gets tips too so we give according to how many tips he gets. What goes around comes around...