Yeshiva son and iphone priveleges

odchai

Mon, May 29 2017, 3:37 pm

We live in Israel and have recently sent our son to the States to yeshiva. He is almost 21 and is in agreement with us about continuing in yeshiva and would like to start college in a few months. We are supporting him financially. He seems to be happy where he is and he is not interested or able to pay his own bills yet since he has no income, however he is feeling frustrated that we are not getting him a better phone/internet plan so he can use more data on his iphone to play games, check sports scores, communicate with friends on What's App etc. etc. Really in the yeshiva he is in they don't readily approve of the boys having iphones at all, but don't know what to do about it. I believe my son needs a phone for communication purposes but how far do we need to go to provide and pay for him to have every amenity he thinks he needs? When I was in college I lived without stuff like TV and cable and going out to eat every day. Shouldn't he begin to learn that life is all about budgeting? What do other parents do in the States with their kids? Does everyone pay for their kids to get whatever plan the kids see their friends have? Am I being overly strict???

doctorima

Mon, May 29 2017, 4:13 pm

A lot of it depends on what circles he runs in and peer pressure. If his friends at yeshiva don't have iphones, there's no reason he needs to be one of the few who does. But if he starts college and everyone there has one, he'll feel left out to be the only one with an outdated model. You could also use this is a teaching moment about the value of money and suggest he get a summer job to help pay for it, and perhaps offer to match his earnings.